Off Topic Thread - Because a lot has happened!

[bingbong]

Yep, and that distinction between atrraction and love is something people don't always separate when their emotions take over. I think a common thing that happens is someone feels an attraction and becomes stuck on the idea of who that person is, more than the actual person. This happened to me a couple of times and what a rude awakening when i finally realized who i was dealing with. I won't let that happen again. On the other hand, i am happy to say that i have experienced genuine love, i know the feeling, and there is nothing to compare.

[Lovefiend]

Well I mean, the thing with love is that you love the person no matter what. There are some things abouto Helen that I actually hate. I wish she didn't have those traits/likes. But because I love her, I love her anyway. It's not about liking a collection of traits of physical appearance, it's more than that. It's just like, a soul thing. You just do, I can't explain it.

[bingbong]

I know exactly what you mean, Kate. Unconditional love is not an easy thing between two people (outside of parents with their kids - hopefully). People with wild-eyed expectations will be in for a letdown. You have to take the good with the bad. The test is how you deal with the bad.

[Lovefiend]

Exactly Jim!
I don't spose any of you know someone in NZ who wants to buy a 150 cc scooter?

[Miranda]

Mira- I'm proud of you! I know you'll find someone (or maybe you found him already..) and that you'll be happy together cause you deserve it!!

Aw, Noga, that's so sweet of you. PS
I agree with Kate and Jim, attration and love are 2 different things. Unfortunately not everyone realizes

[hottamale8]

Wow I feel so young and inexperienced when I read what you all have to say! But I love it because it teaches me things that I would otherwise have to learn for myself. So this is what I have learned about love (not parents or family or friend love, totally different) so far.
1. You don't have to be with someone just because they think they are in love with you. If you don't love them like that, it's not fair for you to have to settle, and essentially it's not fair for them either. They deserve someone who loves them back, as do you.
2. Love is real, and the little 12 year old seventh graders who claim to be madly in "love" with their tuesday boyfriends, and then that totally changes when they are with their next sunday boyfriends, the "loves of their lives." Love is more special than that, it has to be.

Which brings me to my next point.

Do you guys believe in soul mates? Like you are only destined to be with one person, and that's it? And all of you who have truly been in love, has it ever happened twice? Would you drop everything to be with your first love? Just wondering...you don't get to learn this kind of thing in tenth grade.

[Lovefiend]

I think that I believe in soulmates. I think that those people who think they've found 'the one' and then they move onto someone else, it simply wasn't the one atall.

[violaplayer1234]

Wow, hard question to think about.  I don't know if I believe in soulmates, but then again, I might.  I don't believe in it enough that that's what I'll be looking for, a sign that this person is my soulmate.  That unless I get a certain feeling I won't trust it...because then I could be waiting for something that never comes.  However, I do believe that there are certain people whom we may meet and take a chance with that may end up being our soulmates.  But some people may never find theirs, and they work through it and manage to live a perfectly wonderful life. 

But this is coming from me, someone who has never been in love, and just my thoughts. 

[Lovefiend]

Wow, gay pride sig there!!
It's not so much a signal ou search for, it's just a feeling you get with a person. That that person makes you're world complete (not perfect, but complete), and like you have an ally against the world in that person.

[bingbong]

I've never been comfortable with the idea of one soul mate or the entire concept. I don't think life works that way. All it takes is a deep connection with another person, something that is long-lasting and genuine. All relationships can be valuable, even if they don't last a lifetime.

[Miranda]

I agree with Jim... I usually do 
I don't believe in 1 person for the rest of your life, because you keep changing and growing your entire life. It's almost impossible that your partner changes and grows in the same direction. The couples who stay together for their entire life are just lucky they both went the same direction. Does that make sense?  It does to me 

[Lovefiend]

The person doesn't have to grow the same as you. You're not supposed to be the same as your partner, they'r ejust supposed to compliment you. If your partner can't deal with a change, or a growth in you, then they weren't the one.

[Miranda]

The person doesn't have to grow the same as you. You're not supposed to be the same as your partner, they'r ejust supposed to compliment you. If your partner can't deal with a change, or a growth in you, then they weren't the one.

Sorry, I didn't make myself clear. I'm not saying that your partner is supposed to be the same as you, but it's a fact that people keep changing their entire life. Let's say for instance that I'm person A and I'm growing into person B in the course of my life. Now, my partner, who is a person C when I'm a person A (and C and A personalities go good together) changes into a person D and Band D don't go well together. That's what I meant. It's not because you're good for each other and understand each other at one point in your life, that you automatically do in another period of your life... 

[Lovefiend]

Yeah, but that's the thing, love isn't about personalities being good together. Helen and I's personalities don't match at all. On paper, we'd never get on, constantly fight, and not stay together for more than 6 motnhs. But love is more than that, it's not about what goes wwell together and what doesn't. Like I said before, people lovve people who are atrocious. Wife beaters' personalities don't go with their wives' personalities (unless she's a masochist) but they still love them. Love is unstoppable, and it doesn't shift just because a person doesn't have the same intressts like/dislikes etc as they previously did. A soul doesn't change.

[Imy]

The person doesn't have to grow the same as you. You're not supposed to be the same as your partner, they're just supposed to compliment you. If your partner can't deal with a change, or a growth in you, then they weren't the one.

wow I totally agree!

I missed a lot on this thread and it seems like the discussion is relationships and I'm not such an expert on that but uh I can give my immature and naive teenage girl thoughts on it lol!

I think that you can't stop loving someone even if you break-up have a divorce or end up hating them. because you can love someone and hate someone. But just because you can't stop loving someone doesn't mean you can't then love someone else. I think that you can love many people but there is just one person who you like truly love like the 'one' for you. I don't wanna say the word 'destined' because I don't really believe in destiny.