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Author Topic: Fans over 50 - who is out there?  (Read 123777 times)
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tully
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« Reply #240 on: January 28, 2007, 05:18:56 pm »

Well, I actually like Emily.  I also see Lorelai just as controlling  and manipulative in her own ways.  There were several times when she tried to talk Rory out of going over to the parents house, or going to golf with Richard or when she has decided they are manipulating her.  Remember how she didn't want Rory to go golfing and Emily was like oh now who is being controlling.  Lor uses Rory too!  She didn't want to even look at Yale and got a cab and left with Rory when Richard had the meeting set up with the staff.  Whenever her mom said anything about the three of them Lor was always like it is just me and Rory there is  no we!  Hurtful.  I mean they are her loins too!  You say they treat her like a child because she acts like one! 
My father was very overbearing you did it his way or the high way.  Believe me,  since I was in 8th grade we have been butting heads.  We went to my sister's boyfriend's funeral when I was like 32 and I was talking during the ceremony.  I was just saying one little thing not talking non stop and he leaned over to shush me and I said Dad, Are u kidden me? I am 32 you can't shush me any more!  :Smiley  So, you can't be treated like a baby if you don't act like one.  Half the time she does stuff just to spite them.  How mature is that at what 35?   Wink
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« Reply #241 on: January 28, 2007, 07:33:14 pm »

My father was very overbearing you did it his way or the high way.  Believe me,  since I was in 8th grade we have been butting heads.  We went to my sister's boyfriend's funeral when I was like 32 and I was talking during the ceremony.  I was just saying one little thing not talking non stop and he leaned over to shush me and I said Dad, Are u kidden me? I am 32 you can't shush me any more!  :Smiley  So, you can't be treated like a baby if you don't act like one.  Half the time she does stuff just to spite them.  How mature is that at what 35?   Wink

My dad was the same way!  My mom and I have always been very close, but my dad is more controlling (the scary thing is, that I am learning that I think I am getting a little controlling myself in my old age!)  I have had to have many discussions and disagreements with my dad to let him know that although I appreciate him trying to "help" me in certain situations, I am 38 years old now, and am quite capable of taking care of myself. There have been instances where he has been very condescending to me on the phone, treating me like I'm a little kid, and I have actually said I don't appreciate you talking to me in that tone, and hung up.  Now, he has finally been getting the message! I think we have a much more respectful relationship.  So Tully, you are so right...you have to be able to act like an adult, before you will get treated like one.

Lorelai continues to do things for the "shock value" I think.  Although the more I think about it, I wonder if she does this as a defense mechanism because she felt so rejected by them and this way she doesn't let herself get hurt.  She did mention something like that in the episode when Emily was having trouble dealing with Richard's mother.  She explained to Emily how she deals with her to avoid being hurt.  I can't remember exactly what she said though? Huh

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« Reply #242 on: January 29, 2007, 12:37:49 am »

I definitely think Lorelai reacts to her parents in a defensive mode to avoid being hurt. I also have an "Emily" for a mother and when I am around her I often FEEL like a child because she treats me like one and I'm 42! I used to get angry as a defense because her criticism HURT so much. She didn't have FAITH in me as an adult to make my own choices. My mother and I have talked about our differences and it turns out we're actually more alike than different. Our anxieties clash but I discovered that my mother really does love me. I believe Emily loves Lorelai very much and they are more alike than they realize. Both mother and daughter are strong, opinionated women and both are very stubborn. They need to learn to communicate with each other. You have to GIVE respect in order to receive it. If Emily treated Lorelai with respect then Lorelai would have more respect for her. When Emily get overly critical with Lorelai and is controling and manipulative Lorelai gets very defensive and DOES act like a teenager. I don't think Lorelai is acting like a spoiled child but rather a hurt one. How many times over the years has Emily given Lorelai praise for her success as a mother or a business owner or ANY praise? Not often. Every child needs to hear that they matter and that they are good people. When that child doesn't hear it and hears criticism instead, they become insecure. Lorelai is fine on her own. She has the respect of her community and friends and the love of her own child but when she is back in her parents house she becomes a child again.. Lorelai and Emily just really need to talk and get everything out in the open so they can heal the old wounds. I like the few times where Emily has let her guard down and had fun (like when she and Lorelai did that mother/daughter fashion show. To see her smiling and dancing to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun was priceless!) and if Emily could let her guard down more often she might be able to connect with her daughter. She also needs to tell Lorelai that she loves her and is proud of her. Lorelai desperately needs to hear that. I like Emily and I know she loves Lorelai but the hurts from the past are keeping them from having a good relationship. They need to forgive and move on with their lives as ADULTS with each of them giving the respect the other deserves. Then Emily will treat Lorelai like an adult and Lorelai will be able to act like an adult instead of a wounded child.

O.K rant over. I love the whole mother/daughter relationship. The Gilmore GIRLS can also discribe the original mother/daughter relationship between Emily and Lorelai as well as between Lorelai and Rory. After all, they DID set up that dynamic back in the pilot episode so it's actually about the THREE generations. I hope they heal the Lorelai and Emily relationship before the show ends as well as her relationship to Richard. She needs to know her parents love her and really DO want the best for her.

Until next time... Live, love, laugh and be well. Grin Lori
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« Reply #243 on: January 29, 2007, 04:12:41 am »

   I think one of the best episodes last year is when they actually face a lot of stuff in the living room of the Gilmore Mansion.  It is Emily, Richard, Lor and Rory.  They are going over everything.  One minute they are yelling and screaming and the next laughing and telling stories.  I can't remember which episode.  My brain doesn't have room for that!HA  But, it was like the first time they all actually communicated and I thought it was one of the best scenes and HILARIOUS! Wink
I think both Emily and Lor are hurt and they both do the exact same thing to the other.  I think that they are both so afraid of being rejected that a lot of times they communicate out of hurt.  It is often what we don't like in someone else that we really don't like about ourselves.  And, good point.  I think they are more alike than different!  Coffee
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« Reply #244 on: January 29, 2007, 04:20:42 am »

   I think one of the best episodes last year is when they actually face a lot of stuff in the living room of the Gilmore Mansion.  It is Emily, Richard, Lor and Rory.  They are going over everything.  One minute they are yelling and screaming and the next laughing and telling stories.  I can't remember which episode.  My brain doesn't have room for that!HA  But, it was like the first time they all actually communicated and I thought it was one of the best scenes and HILARIOUS! Wink
I think both Emily and Lor are hurt and they both do the exact same thing to the other.  I think that they are both so afraid of being rejected that a lot of times they communicate out of hurt.  It is often what we don't like in someone else that we really don't like about ourselves.  And, good point.  I think they are more alike than different!  Coffee

The episode you are talking about is Friday Night's Alright for Fighting in Season Six.  It was a great episode!!  They certainly got a lot of emotions and history out in that episode.  It interesting too, that Lorelai initiated that dinner because she didn't want Rory to be estranged from the grandparents after the fight they had.  Now there, she was acting like a mature adult!
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« Reply #245 on: January 29, 2007, 04:29:46 am »

Yo go G fan!  I think I need to post I am not a detail person Cool!   I am more of a big picture kind of gal!  I am getting into trouble in another thread for that.  Maybe we should do a poll on detail persons verses non.  Of course,  we drive the detail people crazy!  Thanks for the name of the episode it was one of my favs along with dead uncles and veggies in season 2.  See, I sort of remembered the title of that one.  Maybe there is hope! Grin Coffee
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« Reply #246 on: January 31, 2007, 08:12:42 pm »

I see it from Lorelai's point of view, maybe because of the way I get along with my mother. She was kind of picky and frequently disappointed with a lot of the decisions I made. Now in our adulthood, whenever she criticizes, I have an irresistible urge to judge her life decisions and offer critical advice about the way she handles things.
It must sound ridiculous the way I lecture her about the mistakes she makes and drag out our old baggage whenever I feel criticized. It would be equally ridiculous to claim she deserved it somehow for making me that way, but that's karma for you. Until the therapy pays off, we just cope with it and apologize when the occasion calls for it. Well, I apologize, anyway.
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« Reply #247 on: February 01, 2007, 07:20:01 am »

Hi! Smiley

Just a note to say I AM BACK - here in my frozen tundra office - LOTS to read! Good deep stuff! Wow - you go out on one Senile Adventure, they find you eating raw eggs in Wal-Mart  Tongue , and looky what happens to the old fart forum! Hey, this is preeetty interesting!  Tongue

Ok - the QUUEEN OLDFARDO IS HERE! Grin More words after our Sponsor - reads the rest of the Emily Posts  Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

Surely we are all old enuf to remember Emily Post. Ok, back to the last page.... Shocked

   I think one of the best episodes last year is when they actually face a lot of stuff in the living room of the Gilmore Mansion.  It is Emily, Richard, Lor and Rory.  They are going over everything.  One minute they are yelling and screaming and the next laughing and telling stories.  I can't remember which episode.  My brain doesn't have room for that!HA  But, it was like the first time they all actually communicated and I thought it was one of the best scenes and HILARIOUS! Wink
I think both Emily and Lor are hurt and they both do the exact same thing to the other.  I think that they are both so afraid of being rejected that a lot of times they communicate out of hurt.  It is often what we don't like in someone else that we really don't like about ourselves.  And, good point.  I think they are more alike than different!  Coffee

OMG - YES! i LOVED that eppy - it was SO GOOD, i was like in SHOCK watching it, with my mouth open!  I mean, these doof ball writers TODAY would probably never pull off a show like that!   We probably could tho...

This brings me to a point i want to make, after reading these posts. POINT: The relationship between Emily and Lorelai is so far twisted, they are probably at the point where they need professional help, AND Emily is gonna have to CHANGE and maybe admit she is not perfect - that just because all her DAR functions are perfect, that does NOT translate into perfect child-rearing, because perfect CR. includes UNDERSTANDING who your "little person" is inside. Children are not possessions of parents. My parents were strict, esp. my Dad, and yeah, he "knew" everything.  Trouble was, he did know so much - (helped by the fact that my family tree is litered with geniuses for generations - i am the dumb kid  Tongue ) - he DID turn out to be right, and i would have to admit it.  Still, he never really pushed me - only persuaded me.  He was a real salesman, that one.

But one thing about my parents - my mother tempered things too, and we were allowed to run wild half the time, especially ME cuz i was the youngest.  We were allowed to experiment and play how we liked and all - and once we got into our working lives, our parents didn't say too much.  Now and then, if i confided, my Dad would try to give advice, and i might stand my ground, but they inherently knew that we were grown people - and all they could do was SUGGEST.  Somehow, it all worked out.  I never felt controlled - AND let me add this important point.  I could have been VERY WILD - i have my parents to thank for not being so.

Each child is different.  For example, i needed more "tending" than the others, because i was the one destined to be the Wild Child.  And somehow, that early teaching and tending stayed with me, and i say "no" to things i might have said yes too.  So, there is good and bad in each parenting method, i believe.  You need to strike a balance.

As for shhusshing you at a funeral - let's face it, we are never "32" or even "52" to our parents, we are always their example - we exhibit their parenting skills.  They continue to feel that our actions reflect HOW THEY RAISED US!  It is not about "telling a 32 year old what to do" so much as "Oh dear, Aunt Totsy is gonna think we raised him wrong!  This is so embarassing!"  I mean, would they tell a RANDOM 32 year old to shhush? Probably not.

I just ask that maybe you think on this.  I had the best of parenting worlds - really so wonderful.  NO parents are perfect, but mine had a wonderful balance of discipline, teaching by example, encouragement and giving "freedom" .  Did i turn out to be President of the United States? No - i am just an average old bag - but they did their job - the rest was up to ME. (ADDITION: One thing i do say, as a female, i was NOT told "you can be President" or even "CEO" - and that was of the time - i was slated to be someone's wife, of course, and was probably sent to college cuz men were there! But - that was just classic ignorance of the time, not a thing my parents understood.)
I find many great examples in these writings here, of REAL LIFE, and how people reconciled with their parents, how they understand them, how they learned to live in harmony.  And more importantly, how they 'BROKE THE MOLD' - that is a great success story to tell. That is great, and maybe one of the reasons Gilmoregirls gets frustrating.  Many of you guys worked it out - and Lorelai and Emily - still cannot?

I DO BELIEVE it takes the younger, more pliable person to bend more - let's face it, the parents have trouble 'backing down' - they are the authority figures - it they break down, or "don't know" - then oh dear!  They have a front to keep up too!

Ok, i'm done.  Plus, i have to pull my teeth out, since i sat on them again.  Cheesy

I see it from Lorelai's point of view, maybe because of the way I get along with my mother. She was kind of picky and frequently disappointed with a lot of the decisions I made. Now in our adulthood, whenever she criticizes, I have an irresistible urge to judge her life decisions and offer critical advice about the way she handles things.
It must sound ridiculous the way I lecture her about the mistakes she makes and drag out our old baggage whenever I feel criticized. It would be equally ridiculous to claim she deserved it somehow for making me that way, but that's karma for you. Until the therapy pays off, we just cope with it and apologize when the occasion calls for it. Well, I apologize, anyway.

About all this...  I think as i age more and more i learn that some of this behavior is deeply seeded (seated?)  in something learned in childhood or maybe even later, BUT sometimes, the person being "unreasonable" has hold of some belief that controls they so desperately, they just cannot even SEE it - it is buried so deep.  And of course it has a big FEAR attached to it.  Yeah, i know this is what therapy is all about, but lots of people will not go.  When my sister gets crazy about holding onto something, i know there is some huge fear behind it - some fear of loss, or failure or being not good enough or some very primal fear of starving or whatever.

For example, she comments on EVERY SINGLE thing i have ever purchased and she is EXACTLY RIGHT! i should NOT buy things! But of course i did and do sometimes, out of "emptiness" of some sort that particular day.  I have my spiritual depth, but still i live alone and that in itself causes emptiness in women, and then they SHOP - i hate shopping tho.  I have become creative in blowing money. LIke buying Gilmore girls on DVD. Anyhoo - i know behind it all, my sister is afraid she will have to support me someday, after i have blown thru every dime or whatever.  I have a retirement savings, but - events have happened to upset everything.  Well, what i am saying is (at the expense of my own personal crap) is that - sometimes, if you FIND that fear, you have a better chance of at least scaring it up so you can take a few shots at it with a twelve gauge.   Shocked

Me, i shot a TEN gauge first time out. Angry  Fell flat on my ass.  Tongue :Smiley Cheesy

SPEAKING OF THAT... i am CELBRATING because - i passed emissions!   (no, not FARTS you old coots, i passed Vehicle Emissions!  Angry )
« Last Edit: February 01, 2007, 09:24:02 am by zeddie » Logged

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« Reply #248 on: February 02, 2007, 12:24:28 pm »

glad you're back zeddie - was afraid that you were frozen solid on the toilet................. Undecided
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tully
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« Reply #249 on: February 03, 2007, 01:30:39 pm »

See, I don't think Emily thinks she is perfect.  I think she runs a strict house hold.  I think she thinks it is her home and she can make the rules.   There are no surprises!  Emily makes it very clear what the agreement is and what the expectations are.  Maybe not one's cup of tea but if you make an agreement that is the way it is! 
When Lor was growing up she had to abide by Emily's rules.  Why shouldn't she?  It was her parent's home.  When Lorelai decided to ask them for the money for Rory's school they made a stipulation.  That meant, it was on Emily's terms.  Lor agreed to that.   Lorelai got what she wanted but so did Emily.   Lorelai could have said no and Rory could have not gone to Chilton.  The same thing happend when Rory went to Yale.  She needed money.  This time Rory took Lorelai out of the loop.  Lorelai chose to stay engaged to be with Rory.  Both these mothers are spoiled and want it their way.   Lorelai is no different than Emily.  Remember Rory's bday party first season?Huh? They did it Lorelai's way. In her own way she is just as controlling as Emily.  That is my point.  The reason they butt heads is because they are more alike not different!
I see that over the years choices Lorelia have made are more hurtful to Emily than the other way around.  So, I think it is an interesting dynamic but I see Emily being no more of the villian.  I think I may be alone on this but that is my take Tongue
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« Reply #250 on: February 04, 2007, 06:33:46 am »

Realgilmore - HAHAHAHA. Yeah, the toilet is COLD alright! Especially the upstairs one with NO TOILET SEAT, just COLD BLUE STEEL - i mean, porcelain (that's right i have a BRIGHT BLUE TOILET - so GET OVER IT!  Tongue

I like to lick the bowl...  Tongue Tongue Tongue  For some reason the nurses don't like it when i do that...

Oh GREAT GOOGLIE MOOGLIE! Smash Wall Dance Dance Dance  I JUST SAW THE SCARIEST DANCERS EVER - on the TODAY SHOW!!!

So, here WE are, us HIP seniors and seniors in TRAINING, and i turn on the Tube and see something that almost BURNED OUT MY EYES!  Shocked  Here were like EIGHT OLD FARTS DANCING - they are the "latest" - yeah, they'll be "late" allright, just give them a few weeks- addition to the New Jersey NETS. Not sure of the name, Perhaps they are the Urine Squad or something.  I must believe that after they dance, the court smells of PEE leaking out of the diapers!  OMG - if ANYONE else saw this, TELL ME PLEASE, because i think i HALLUCINATED!  Tongue Tongue Tongue They were moving like on SIT AND FIT - ALL OFF BEAT and NOT TOGETHER, and NOT crisp movements. At one point, one OLD FARTO turned his hat for the "hip-hop" segment.  Wall  I don't think they should say "hip" to people over SEVENTY.  Angry


Well, SO MUCH FOR OUR PROGRESS. To top it off, i think they were ALL WHITE  :Smiley - no doubt, no self respecting African American   Cool would dance with this PEE SQUAD.  Oh HELP. This is gonna end up on the LATE SHOWS - watch for it.  OR MAYBE YOUTUBE or somewhere?  I have to look for it - it is so insane, you have to STARE - like an accident on the freeway.  Sad Sad Sad

MY MISTAKE - looks like there are of course some African Americans. I am SO SORRY they made them dance with really old white people....

http://www.nba.com/nets/dancer/All_Access_Dancing_with_the.html

OK, I CONFESS... i am brushing up my moves, cuz when i hit SIXTY i am gonna try out!  WOO WHOO!  Dance Dance Dance Smitten Smitten Smitten High Five High Five

do a little dance,  Dance make a little love  Smitten get down tonight High Five  get down tonight  High Five (yeah, baby...) insert white man's overbite. Nod Blow Kiss

i gotta find that CD now... great... where is it.... heck, where are my TEETH.

SIGNED Sleepy

HOLY FROZEN CHEESEHEADS, Batman, i just ventured into the BACK ROOM - junk room, where i turn off the heat register.  OMG! OMG! OMG! I never ah - never took the window air conditioner out, and it's sort of - blowing in thru that bad seal. OH - EXPLATIVE! I retrieved a bottle of red that may be just short of FROZEN - around here, you don't forget a six-pack in the car, you come out to exploded bottles in the morning.   IT'S A MEAT LOCKER. YOu could store PORK BELLIES in there for YEARS - oh FORK ME, except after 2 minutes in there, you couldn't get a fork in me! My HANDS are frozen - i could not even TOUCH anything in there. Oh this is bad. this is REALLY really bad. I opened the register now.  I must be ruining things back there - YIKES.  I hope there is no frozen damage with the roof or something.

What an IDIOT i am.  Wall

Well, i was watching some Horse Reining championship - FIRST FEMALE winner ever - whatever - she was from Wiss - CON - sin. Yeehaaa!

Ok, now i gotta hankerin' to pick my Martin D-35 (what a sweet machine) - complete with chrome Grovers.  One year I changed out the tuning machines on my Alvarez for Gold Grovers! ... Sheee -it, That was a good drunk!  Grin

ah... the hour has arrived... redrum, redrum, REDRUM!  REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM!

*opens orange shade*  OOOO! Now the pretty prism crystal is tossing little rainbows all over the room!  Maybe we wil have finger painting today!  WOOHOO!  Shocked
« Last Edit: February 05, 2007, 06:32:19 am by zeddie » Logged

Lorelai: Please Luke, please please please.
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus--
Lorelai: Five.  But yours is better.

"Liberté, égalité, fraternité, ou la mort!"
IN OMNIA PARATUS
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« Reply #251 on: February 06, 2007, 09:24:51 am »

Yeah, woolen thermal fingerpaints! I hate heat-sieving, power is so expensive. I need to caulk up my windows or something. I thought that rattling noise was my teeth...

My son is turning four this week, and, wonder of wonders, he's taught himself how to read! I shouldn't be so shocked (isn't he the most perfect thing ever invented?) but he has communication problems, he can't talk and he can't use crayons and he can't use the potty (according to my doctor, all within "developmental norms" whatever that means) but he learned how to sound out words and reads whatever he sees in print out loud. PBS is my best friend forever and ever. Ummm, I gave at the office.

Anyway, I'm having a serious Lori moment here. Feeling lucky and happy and hopeful and just full of love for everyone!

I missed the old-fart hustle, but I've danced for the masses, so I won't poke fun. They had to mop the auditorium afterwards, unusual for ballet...
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« Reply #252 on: February 06, 2007, 09:54:00 pm »

So now I've become part of the local dilect? Lessa is having a LORI MOMENT?? Lol!! I guesss if feeling happy, hopeful and full of love are LORI MOMENTS then I feel honored to have become part of the vernacular.  Grin It's a mom thing! I may be a middle aged fart but I will continue to be grateful for all the good things in my life. Even when it isn't good, life gives us so many wonderful opportunities for growth. I've decided this year to practice an "attitude of gratitude" and be positive.

Have a great day! Grin   Lori
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« Reply #253 on: February 07, 2007, 04:34:11 am »

Knock it off with the middle aged fart stuff Wall  I keep trying to tell you we are the new 30 it could even be 25! Wink  You are as old as you feel.  Let's use both Emily and Lorelai as our gauge.  They are both active, beautiful and in their prime.  It is the ageless era so get on board! Dance
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« Reply #254 on: February 07, 2007, 10:09:56 pm »

Are you angry Tully? Huh Have you read this thread from the begining? Some people here have alot of health problems and DO feel old. I have Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and live with constant pain. We use "old geezer" humor to make light of the pain and have something to laugh at because laughter is very healing. I barely have energy to function at times and sometimes the pain is excruciating but I can still laugh at myself. Just because I and others joke about losing our teeth, having memory lapses, Depends moments, and our crackling old bones doesn't mean we think we're old. It's just how some of us cope with chronic health conditions.

I get frustrated that I can no longer do the things I used to do but I try to stay positive. I could moan and groan about my pain, fatigue and other health problems but I'd rather find reason to laugh as I travel down the road to healing. My goal is to reverse these conditions and become healthier than I've ever been in my life. Right now my body feels very old but my mind is like a teenager's - full of enthusiasm and fun. I have quite a bit of Lorelai in me even if my body doesn't agree. So I will continue to post humorously even when I am in pain and I will continue to laugh at crude, humorous moments. It is laughter that keeps you young. Remember the movie Patch Adams with Robin Williams about the doctor who used humor and laughter to help his patients heal? It's so true. Laughter releases endorphins which help manage pain so I love to laugh! Grin

So everyone have a great day.  Remember to live passionately, love unconditionally, laugh often and be healthy! Grin  I can't wait til next weeks GG episode! This one was great. It had some great scenes between Lorelai and Emily. It was so nice to get more insight into her character. Her love and devotion to Richard is wonderful even with Emily's characteristic self control. She'd be so lost without him!

Until next time... Grin   Smitten Lori
« Last Edit: February 07, 2007, 10:11:31 pm by Loridhhp » Logged


Lori: "Friends come and go but I'm your mother. I'll always be here for you."
Ariel: "What if I'm an Archeologist in Eygpt and I'm having hallucinations and manic?"
Lori: "Then I'll be on the next plane. I won't give up ever"
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