3.13 - Dear Emily and Richard

[thevoid99]

Correction:  It was Straub Hayden, not Francine.  Francine was an absolute wreck over what happened. 

I agree that Lorelai probably didn't give Richard & Emily more credit for her well-being.  I think it was just that they didn't show their feelings very much when it came to her and maybe in some ways, they regretted it.  And in fairness to Lorelai, I don't think she understood either. 

I love that ending with Lorelai bringing the DVD player for Emily. 

[laurla205]

You covered this episode so well, Mel, it’s hard to follow! 

Sometimes, I think that what teens go through while they're figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives, clouds their vision of their parents and I wonder how much of that vision isn't still with Lorelai today? I'm not saying that Emily and Richard haven't done or said things that hurt and upset Lorelai. For those times, I completely understand where Lorelai is coming from. I came to appreciate their relationship a lot more during this viewing of the episode.

I think the point you make here is important and one of my favorite things about this episode is that we get to see how Lorelai’s relationship with them has grown.  Emily and Richard have both proved Lorelai’s points about them being manipulative and elitist time and time again but we are rarely shown their point of view favorably.  The flashbacks showed us that life back then was very much like their life as we see it.  Emily and Richard were busy attending functions and keeping up appearances, upholding the good Gilmore name.  Their interest is and was in what is best for their family as they see it regardless of anything else.  It’s how they see it that Lorelai takes issue with.  A lot of that stems from being a typical rebellious teenager but I think Lorelai and Christopher’s flashback conversation on the stairs is the key as well as Christopher’s model Dear John letter.  Emily and Richard never take into consideration what Lorelai wants. They make all of the decisions because they know what’s best and it’s one of the biggest problems Lorelai still has with them. To a point this is understandable, Lorelai and Christopher were kids but if they were old enough to get pregnant they were old enough to have a say in what happened.  Lorelai’s reasons for running away were that she didn’t fit comfortably into that Normal Rockwell painting which resulted in her hating her childhood (exaggerated or not) and she didn’t want Rory to be raised the same rigid way.  I think the flashback scenes we were given illustrated that point nicely. 

I also love that Lorelai brings Emily the DVD player at the end of the episode.  While it’s too late for apologies on everything else they went through back then and a DVD player is not quite an olive branch it shows that they can keep moving forward.  I also like that it shows Lorelai knows enough about the good sides of Emily to know exactly which DVDs to pick out.

[bingbong]

The relationship between Lorelai and her parents is in something of a time warp. That's not unusual for parents and their children but for these characters the unresolved hurt and anger of the past is always just below the surface, ready to explode at any moment. Lorelai has pre-conceived ideas about what her parents will say and do, much of which is accurate, and it constantly colors her thoughts about them. For Emily, she never recovered from Lorelai running away from home with Rory. The same is true for Richard but, much as he adores Rory, he frets more over the pregnancy itself and how it derailed Lorelai's educational and career path.

I thought the actress who played teenage Lorelai was terrific and nit-picking about her eye color on this thread is besides the point. She captures the look and feel of Lorelai (much more than the young Christopher). The season 3 DVD contains a deleted scene from "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio," with the same actress portraying Lorelai in her early twenties with little Rory. They are at the Inn and young Lorelai is talking dreamily of their future. It didn't add anything to the story, which might be why it was not used in the episode, but it was good seeing young Lorelai again.

[lessa]

Yeah, young Lorelai rules. I thought it was strange how the Haydens were so much uglier in their insistence. Emily and Richard insisted on a marriage while Straub was pushing for the abortion, and Richard looked so somber while considering his daughter's options, angry, yes, but not directing his wrath at Lorelai.

That was kind of funny, though, Christopher's home life was so bad that he thought running away from home to move in with the Gilmores sounded nice. I can see why Lorelai wouldn't see it that way, but she wanted away from all of it, not just the pieces that were yelling at her. She wanted to be able to drop her sweater on the floor and register Democrat, not just belong somewhere.

She was opposed to the hostel backpacking when Christopher first brought it up, Almost like right up until Christopher started becoming one of the grups, she hadn't realized how addicted to her lifestyle she was. Grown-up Lorelai talks like it would be fun, but maybe that's just to teach Rory that the freedom to backpack is way more important than the reality of doing it.

I had a thought about the Lorelai/rory/Emily triangle dealing with my family over the weekend - Emily's greatest fear was losing her daughter, and she controlled Lorelai's every step to prevent it happening before she was ready. Lorelai shares the fear, but she reacts to it by encouraging, even coercing, Rory into flying free whenever possible. It's like her every prop is daring Rory to run away, and that reversed action is naturally having the reverse reaction - Lorelai never needs her mom, and Rory always does. Go figure.

[superstarmonkey]

Emily's greatest fear was losing her daughter, and she controlled Lorelai's every step to prevent it happening before she was ready. Lorelai shares the fear, but she reacts to it by encouraging, even coercing, Rory into flying free whenever possible. It's like her every prop is daring Rory to run away, and that reversed action is naturally having the reverse reaction - Lorelai never needs her mom, and Rory always does. Go figure.

I never thought of it as Lorelai almost daring Rory to flee - nice theory Lessa! It's true that Rory always needs her Mum, even after the disaster at the end of season 4/beginning of season 5 and during their silent period in season 6 when Rory is rebelling against Lorelai, she still inwardly wants and needs her mother. This was not the case with Lorelai and Emily. Perhaps the Sherman - Palladinos are trying to comment on how one should raise a child?

[lessa]

It's possible. I mean, they don't get all pedantic about it, but there's definitely some methodology changing hands in the comparison of Lorelai, Emily, Mrs. Kim, Sookie, Liz Danes and the Gellars.

I remember in the Alcohol Use thread someone posited that if Rory had been as enthusiastic about running away, drinking, misbehaving, or having fun as Lorelai was at her age, Lorelai might not have been so encouraging!

[Javajukie4life]

This is one of my favorites of the entire show. I love that thye have Lorelai as a teenager 

[Gilmore Gyrlie]

Pretty good episode, liked the actress who played Lorelai as a teen.


Christopher...Not So Much!


The FemB0T annoys me, but it  sucked that her so-called friends didn't bother to come to the hospital.

And the one who called Rory bailed the minute she arrived.


R0TFLMA0 at Ms. Patty checkin out Dean and the construction workers.

[dianakarenina]

I thought the actress who played teenage Lorelai was terrific and nit-picking about her eye color on this thread is besides the point. She captures the look and feel of Lorelai (much more than the young Christopher). The season 3 DVD contains a deleted scene from "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio," with the same actress portraying Lorelai in her early twenties with little Rory. They are at the Inn and young Lorelai is talking dreamily of their future. It didn't add anything to the story, which might be why it was not used in the episode, but it was good seeing young Lorelai again.

I'm sorry but I don't think I was "nitpicking", I was just pointing out something that struck me as weird since the first time I saw this episode (I had to see it several times to find out what it was that was bothering me) but come on, level with me, Lorelai's eyes have been a central point of the character since always, most of her clothes are made to bring out her eyes and when she's being described the eyes are the first things to come to mind. When she met Michel's mother she called her "blue eyes" and Liz described her with "bright blue eyes". She and Rory have the "same eyes". I was just making a comment about how odd it is that in the scene where she's trying on her dress her eyes are brown. So, it isn't as irrelevant as it may seem, it's as if you showed the Mona Lisa with a huge grin. It alters the effect and the way she's viewed. Well, at least in my opinion, that's why it's relevant that her eyes aren't blue. But then again, maybe it's just me . 

Despite this, I think I said, although I'm not sure, that I liked this episode. I loved the theory about the freedom to go that Lorelai gives Rory and the fact that it shows how much the characters have grown over the years. Richard and Emily have become more open-minded while Lorelai has gained the ability to emphasize with her parents. Also, I loved the way they showed Emily when she read the letter, because it shows she truly cared for her daughter and I loved the way in which Richard couldn't walk right because of his shoes. It also shows the nature to "run away" that Lorelai had as a teenager and it gives you insight of her own maturity and strength now as a mom (hey, anyone notice that she was doing exactly what she had told Sookie she was doing when she had Rory? and the 99 luftballons tape!! =D). Last but not least, I also liked how they connected memories to things that were happening in the present, like with the Europe book.

[MartinGug]

Sports Radio 1450 put that up.  My guess is they made quite a bit of money off that championship and the season games.

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