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Author Topic: 1.06 - Rory's Birthday Parties  (Read 79057 times)
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« Reply #90 on: September 26, 2007, 07:08:30 am »



I have always wondered about the teenage "extras" at the second party, the gals who look to be about Rory's age, thrown into the scene apparently to show that she has friends her own age in Star's Hollow besides Lane. We never did see them again, did we? Perhaps they are the daughters of "Deb" and the other Stepford Wives-type moms who Lorelai battled later in the series.

Ha!  I always get a kick when they trot out the faux!friends.  Sorry, show.  It was quite clear that the only people Rory hung around in Stars Hollow who were her own age were Lane, Dean, and later Jess.   Aside from them, her circle was adults -Sookie, Luke, Michel, Miss Patty, Babette, etc.  It was especially funny because they were really just "thrown in there"  They could have been cardboard cutouts and done the same job.

haha. Totally agreed. They do that at Lane's bachelorette party too. There are these random girls, and I think "Who are they?!" I don't liek the randomness of that party room, too many people that you knw Rory isn't friends with!

When I saw this episode and Emily went upstairs I finally knew why lorelai wore her "Yogo Kills" shirt! (haha, I have one myself)
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« Reply #91 on: September 26, 2007, 12:56:32 pm »

Heh, maybe they were obligation invites because Lorelai was friends with their mothers or something.

As always, I enjoyed the subtle parallel between Lorelai and Emily. Emily hasn't forcefully intruded on Lorelai's life since she ran away and now she feels she knows nothing about her. Now Lorelai is waiting and worrying about Rory and her secret boyfriend because she's determined to stand back and let Rory have her privacy.

Like Emily, Lorelai has already announced that she disapproves of her daughter exploring her intense feelings for a boy, but unlike Emily, she seems to realize she's in no position to judge. Anyway, Emily hit the ground prying into Lorelai and Luke in a way that reminded me of the last scene in the first episode where Lorelai is threatening to spy on Rory and Dean. She's obviously decided not to press Rory on it, but you can tell she's feeling her mother's fear as she watches Dean give Rory the bracelet.
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« Reply #92 on: September 26, 2007, 09:15:15 pm »

I have been attempting to post about this episode for a day or so now and for some reason I've really struggled.  Which is bizarre because it's such a great episode.  But I think because it had a lot more serious interaction in it than the previous ones...that I've just found it hard to bring all my thoughts about to coherency.

It was an episode in which Emily had a lot to learn more than anybody I think.  She was all gung ho about organising a party for Rory and went about it in typical Emily fashion.  Yet her willingness to want to learn from Lorelai what Rory would truly want as a gift, seemed to be Rory's only consideration in the whole deal.  It was just her duty to attend and act accordingly.  And when Rory expressed as much, regardless of how thankless or rude it may have seemed, we see what Emily always struggles with - truly getting to know and appreciate her girls, versus what is proper ettiquette.  And Emily's treatment of Rory when she tried to apologise, well it is no doubt what Lorelai endured an awful lot as a child and a very sad thing.  Being a parent myself, it can be very hard to put your own hurt feelings aside to accept an apology from a child who is still learning the ropes of life....but something that you learn very quickly is a must in contributing to a childs character and personality.

I am very happy that she took the time to go to Rory's other party though.  It shows that everything else aside, she truly does want them in her life and wants to get to know them, it's just that she is set in her ways, which is in stark contrast to Lorelai's way of life, and by extension Rory.

On a lighter note, I love that Miss Patty practically hits on Richard the second that they walk into the party.  And in typical SH fashion, the whole second party scene just seemed to bring a constant smile to my face.  Cute stories, great fun interaction and the look on Lorelai's face after she announces "Geez who's ringing the bell?  It's a party, get your ass in here" and then spins around to see her parents.  Priceless.

But my fave part of the whole episode is Lukes entrance and the ensuing hug between Lorelai and himself.  and the following conversation between Emily and Lorelai...

EMILY: And this man with the ice.
LORELAI: Luke.
EMILY: How long have you been seeing him?
LORELAI: Luke? I'm not seeing Luke. He's just a friend.
EMILY: Mm-hmm.
LORELAI: Mom, I swear. Luke keeps me in coffee, nothing else.
EMILY: He seems to like you.
LORELAI: And you're judging this by what?
EMILY: By they way he looked at you.
LORELAI: Which is how?
EMILY: Like you were about to give him a lap dance.
LORELAI: Mom, he did not look at me like that.
EMILY: You're pleased.
LORELAI: What?
EMILY: You smiled. You're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a Porterhouse steak.
LORELAI: I'm smiling because you're crazy and that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm.





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« Reply #93 on: September 26, 2007, 10:20:59 pm »

Emily's "porterhouse steak" remark is a classic! Nothing but quality meat for her, no hamburger would do.

Miss Patty hit on Luke, Chris, why not Richard? What a horn dawg! Or, she can smell money honey.  Wink

I thought Emily's low point was giving Rory the cold shoulder when she tried to apologize. Her worst instincts took over, as they usually do. But i think she was reacting as a reflex from her dealings with Lorelai. And even though she did appear at the second party, i do not recall an apology coming from her lips. That would apparently be beyond her capabilities.
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« Reply #94 on: September 26, 2007, 10:37:05 pm »

And even though she did appear at the second party, i do not recall an apology coming from her lips. That would apparently be beyond her capabilities.


Yeah very good point Jim.  And I think it's a sad situation when I, as well as Rory and Lorelai, would see her appearance at the second party as akin to an apology and accept that this is just her way so easily.  But there in lies one of the great examples of the rich and full charcters developed on this show. 

Which brings me to another point.  Emily/Kelly's appreciation is really not what I would have thought it to be.  I know she has acted dispicably on many, many occasions, but she is still a wonderful character.  I really enjoy watching Kelly Bishop on screen.  And it's a great testament to her acting ability when she can play a character that can behave so appalingly and yet still have people enjoy her character.  And I really do.  She is a joy to watch in her role.

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« Reply #95 on: September 26, 2007, 10:50:19 pm »

This is also one of my favorite episodes and I also struggled to come up with something to say. So, I'm kind of winging it.

With Emily, I love her character because there is so much to her (especially during season four, but another story for another time.) As cold as she can seem I can defiantly understand why she she feels the way she does. To her she spent a portion of the week planning Rory's birthday and making it spectacular. She did this because she cares about Rory. After all, if she did not care about Rory she would have simply sent an "obligation" gift. Then at the party, Rory yells at her and runs off to Lorelai's room. In Emily's world when you host a party you make a speech and keep the party going. Although, there was no proof of it actually happening Emily felt embarrassed at the party.  So, I guess my point is, there is reasoning to Emily's behavior and while watching Gilmore, I often wonder and feel sad that Emily and Lorelai can't work things out. This is the type of episode that really shows the differences of both of their lives and I love the ending. However, now that I think of it. I kind of wish Lorelai could forgive Emily for what Lorelai considers a trapped life. Then the two probably would not have such resentment to each others lives. Really, the Gilmore's just need a good dose of therapy, but we know how Emily feels about therapy.

I love the scene were Lorelai comes into Rory's room at 4:03am and tells Rory about the moment she was born. I was adopted and as a kid I would snuggle with my mom every Sunday and demand that she told me the story of how my family adopted me. It's always special have traditions like that. I also loved the scene at Friday Night Dinner were Emily tells Rory to put a post-it on the bowl she was eating pudding out of. Then of course you have to love the scene were Emily and Richard come to Lorelai's house - "Who the hell is knocking, this is a party, get your ass in here!" So much to love and so much development in this episode. One of the best.
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« Reply #96 on: September 26, 2007, 10:53:06 pm »

I thought Emily's low point was giving Rory the cold shoulder when she tried to apologize. Her worst instincts took over, as they usually do. But i think she was reacting as a reflex from her dealings with Lorelai. And even though she did appear at the second party, i do not recall an apology coming from her lips. That would apparently be beyond her capabilities.


I agree that is a good point. What was the point in going if she and Richard were not going to be part of the party? I guess they went as a social obligation.
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« Reply #97 on: September 26, 2007, 11:01:29 pm »

I saw the 'Emily and Richard appearance' at the second party as more of a .....here is my daughter, who has been determined to keep her life separate from mine all her life, and my granddaughter, whom I desperately want to get to know, practically begging me to come to their party.  What a great way to say sorry and also get a snippet of what it is that is so appealing that they would shun the way of the Gilmores and their surrounding life. 

I think it would have been killing her to not know what their life, house and circle of friends was like.  And this situation just provided the perfect opportunity for her.  However twisted the turn of event were that lead up to the invite, she would never have just shown up...that wouldn't be proper.
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« Reply #98 on: September 26, 2007, 11:03:54 pm »

... I think it's a sad situation when I, as well as Rory and Lorelai, would see her appearance at the second party as akin to an apology and accept that this is just her way so easily.  But there in lies one of the great examples of the rich and full charcters developed on this show. 

Which brings me to another point.  Emily/Kelly's appreciation is really not what I would have thought it to be.  I know she has acted dispicably on many, many occasions, but she is still a wonderful character.  I really enjoy watching Kelly Bishop on screen.  And it's a great testament to her acting ability when she can play a character that can behave so appalingly and yet still have people enjoy her character.  And I really do.  She is a joy to watch in her role.


Emily's appearance at Lorelai's house could be interpreted as her version of an apology, using the word "apology" loosely. I suppose Lorelai and Rory might have interpreted it that way, or at least an admission that Emily is willing to be a tiny bit flexible and meet them halfway. On the one hand, it was "big" of Emily to make the appearance, but really her behavior was terrible. And the way she explained it upon her arrival made it seem that she was only there to keep up formalities. Even though Lorelai might have seen beyond that silliness, it shows how everything with Emily is about keeping up appearances and trying to do things on her own terms.

By comparison, although Richard sat on the porch at the second party, he had a touching little scene with Rory, futhering the kind of connection they made during Rory's golf outing. He comes off as a decent guy who can relate to Rory, in comparison to his wife the shrew.

 
With Emily, I love her character because there is so much to her (especially during season four, but another story for another time.) As cold as she can seem I can defiantly understand why she she feels the way she does. To her she spent a portion of the week planning Rory's birthday and making it spectacular. She did this because she cares about Rory. After all, if she did not care about Rory she would have simply sent an "obligation" gift. Then at the party, Rory yells at her and runs off to Lorelai's room. In Emily's world when you host a party you make a speech and keep the party going. Although, there was no proof of it actually happening Emily felt embarrassed at the party. So, I guess my point is, there is reasoning to Emily's behavior and while watching Gilmore, I often wonder and feel sad that Emily and Lorelai can't work things out. This is the type of episode that really shows the differences of both of their lives and I love the ending. However, now that I think of it. I kind of wish Lorelai could forgive Emily for what Lorelai considers a trapped life. Then the two probably would not have such resentment to each others lives. Really, the Gilmore's just need a good dose of therapy, but we know how Emily feels about therapy.

I think Emily developed genuine feelings for Rory during the course of the series, even as the battle over her with Lorelai went on and on. By the time of "Bon Voyage" when she told Rory it was an honor to be her grandmother, it rang true. But at this early point, i'm not so sure Emily had genuine feelings for Rory, but was more concerned with being in control of her life as much as possible. The party did not have much to do with Rory, it was all about Emily, possibly trying to show off a Superior Gilmore or trying to create the kind of experiences she was not able to control when Lorelai was a teenager. As for the idea of Lorelai forgiving Emily for the way Emily raised her, it is almost irrelevant what Lorelai thinks. No matter if she comes to inner peace with it or not, Emily will continue to be Emily and Lorelai will have to deal with her as she is.
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« Reply #99 on: September 27, 2007, 01:46:46 am »

First, I know I've said it before, but I have to agree that the scene where Lorelai comes into Rory's room and tells her the story of her birth.

Now, the Emily thing.  I will say that I think her appearance at the second party was a way to show that some of what Lorelai said got through to her.  At least the part that she should accept Rory's invitation in the spirit it was given - "I didn't mean to embarrass you and I do care about you so please be a part of my life."  Or something like that.  And, if her reason for coming is the line that she's Rory's grandmother, I don't think she meant it to keep up formalities.  More like that was the only way she knew how to phrase it.  It's one of the things I think they lost about Emily's characterization in later seasons.  You see Emily doing these hurtful things but you see something else.  Some sign of insecurity or some recognition that she needs to modify her actions.  And, I like, from a realism standpoint that Emily didn't do more than come to the party.  Because this is early in the relationship (between her and Rory and her and the adult Lorelai) and it would unrealistic for her to make big leaps.  What frustrates me about Emily (well, one of many things) is that in later seasons, she had hardly moved any farther forward, and by season 5, had actually regressed to a cartoon villain.  Really, I believe season 5 Emily would have frozen Rory out, blamed Lorelai and would not have relented the least bit.
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« Reply #100 on: September 27, 2007, 07:57:53 am »

Here’s what irks me about Emily in an episode such as this one: For all the fussing and conflict, Emily does not seem interested in getting to know Rory as a human being. Rory seems to be nothing more than a tool for Emily to  manipulate the Next Generation of Gilmore, a thing to be molded in a way that she failed to mold Lorelai. Richard wants Rory to go down the same path as Emily, but he is capable of relating to Rory without a sense of manipulation about it. He genuinely likes Rory. Dani pointed out that Emily in later seasons hardly moved any farther forward in her behavior. From what we know of Emily’s upbringing of Lorelai, she has not made any progress from the character that would have existed prior to the series; she treats Rory the same way that treated Lorelai, with no regard for the actual person she is attempting to mold.  I am down with what Dani said, about Emily appearing at the second party as a way to show her insecurity and modify her actions. I also see what Caryn said, about Emily wanting to get a glimpse into their magical/mythical life in S.H.  I further see her appearance at the party as a war-like tactical retreat. War terminology seems appropriate, because Emily is never far from her next grenade toss.
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« Reply #101 on: September 27, 2007, 12:10:33 pm »

Poor Emily. She didn't know that Rory was bottling up her dismay about Emily's party, so when Rory blew up, it must have seemed like she was precisely Lorelai in waiting until the worst possible moment to mess it up. The remark that she needed to get to know Rory a little better before throwing her a party may have hit home, but she had to actually go to the second party to realize she might be misunderstanding Lorelai's party-wrecking behavior, too.

I also like the neat contrast between Lorelai's and Emily's politics that was laid out in the beginning of the episode. Emily is snotty and critical, but Lorelai makes a humorous object out of anything remotely less cool than she is. Emily is an aggressive corrections officer, and Lorelai is Henny Young.
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« Reply #102 on: September 27, 2007, 02:25:36 pm »

Here’s what irks me about Emily in an episode such as this one: For all the fussing and conflict, Emily does not seem interested in getting to know Rory as a human being. Rory seems to be nothing more than a tool for Emily to  manipulate the Next Generation of Gilmore, a thing to be molded in a way that she failed to mold Lorelai. Richard wants Rory to go down the same path as Emily, but he is capable of relating to Rory without a sense of manipulation about it. He genuinely likes Rory. Dani pointed out that Emily in later seasons hardly moved any farther forward in her behavior. From what we know of Emily’s upbringing of Lorelai, she has not made any progress from the character that would have existed prior to the series; she treats Rory the same way that treated Lorelai, with no regard for the actual person she is attempting to mold.  I am down with what Dani said, about Emily appearing at the second party as a way to show her insecurity and modify her actions. I also see what Caryn said, about Emily wanting to get a glimpse into their magical/mythical life in S.H.  I further see her appearance at the party as a war-like tactical retreat. War terminology seems appropriate, because Emily is never far from her next grenade toss.


I think the war metaphor is very apt.  But, I wonder if it wasn't largely due to fortunate circumstances that let Richard relate to Rory.  He got to know her when he took her to the country club.  But, what if Rory hadn't been able to talk about travel or appreciate his kind of reclusive manner?  What if she had been just the kind of girl he had been expecting -his idea of the typical teen?  Would that rapport at the birthday parties have been there?  Had he moved forward, or did he just have the benefit of a granddaughter ready made for him to like?

And, as far as Emily making progress from the character prior to the series, that was my point before.  Would it have been realistic for her to have done so?  There was a big gap of time where they rarely interacted and didn't have the chance to grow to that point.  I think Lorelai and her parents were both in a time warp, as far as dealing with each other.  Emily's practical knowledge of how to deal and relate to teens ended when Lorelai was 17, and also how to deal with Lorelai.  I'm not too upset with that.  But, that only works up to a point, since she was dealing with them on a regular basis and should have learned after awhile.  There are still things that bother me about her behavior in season 1, and I can't believe they're all due to ignorance (I think she sometimes aimed those grenades with precision), but the things that are, are more understandable.  But, then, you get to later seasons and it comes off as less ignorance and more willful stubbornness.

I'll give credit for the pudding -small, but it was something- and coming to the birthday party.  I really do think it was done with the best of intentions, and she didn't do anything there that would lessen those good intentions.  She did try to relate to Lorelai, some, asking her about the people at the party.
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« Reply #103 on: September 27, 2007, 03:07:59 pm »

I think the war metaphor is very apt.  But, I wonder if it wasn't largely due to fortunate circumstances that let Richard relate to Rory.  He got to know her when he took her to the country club.  But, what if Rory hadn't been able to talk about travel or appreciate his kind of reclusive manner?  What if she had been just the kind of girl he had been expecting -his idea of the typical teen?  Would that rapport at the birthday parties have been there?  Had he moved forward, or did he just have the benefit of a granddaughter ready made for him to like?
It was helpful that Rory was somewhat "ready made" for Richard's sensibility, but i also look at it as Richard's temperament allowing their relationship to blossom. Rory showed over time that she was open to the Hartford life in ways that Lorelai wasn't, and if Emily had not tried to shove things down Rory's throat and made an attempt to know her, she might have found the same "ready made" Rory for herself. An example was "Emily in Wonderland", when Emily found herself enjoying Rory's company and S.H. itself.  But that was a rare exception for Emily to lighten up around Rory. And to me it shows that if Emily handled Rory with a similar temperament to Richard, she might have received similar results. As it was, in spite of Emily rather than because of her, Rory the Peace Keeper was often going along with Emily's requests/demands, from golf to the cotillion to the party in this episode. The potential for more was there. I put the fact that there was nothing more on Emily's hard head. 

And, as far as Emily making progress from the character prior to the series, that was my point before.  Would it have been realistic for her to have done so?  There was a big gap of time where they rarely interacted and didn't have the chance to grow to that point.  I think Lorelai and her parents were both in a time warp, as far as dealing with each other.  Emily's practical knowledge of how to deal and relate to teens ended when Lorelai was 17, and also how to deal with Lorelai.  I'm not too upset with that.  But, that only works up to a point, since she was dealing with them on a regular basis and should have learned after awhile.  There are still things that bother me about her behavior in season 1, and I can't believe they're all due to ignorance (I think she sometimes aimed those grenades with precision), but the things that are, are more understandable.  But, then, you get to later seasons and it comes off as less ignorance and more willful stubbornness.
I think it does make sense that Emily would not have learned from past mistakes with Lorelai and repeat them with Rory. But i think it has less to do with Lorelai leaving and the long time warp in their relationiship and more because in Emily's mind she never made mistakes with Lorelai, at least none that she would admit to. She brought up the past more than Lorelai and it was always from the resentful point of view that Lorelai ran off and took Rory, and never any aknowledgement of Lorelai's own reasons for doing it. In short, Emily would never learn how to deal with teenagers because she rarely looks beyond the tip of her own nose. Not that i am excusing Lorelai for everything because i think Lorelai sometimes deserved an Emily grenade.

I agree that Emily was close to a cartoon villain in season 5 but i think she made occasional strides in season 6 and 7. In season 6, she offered to buy a house for L&L right on the outskirts of Star's Hollow, and not with any intent of manipulation but what i took to be an act of acceptance over their relationship, actual good-natured generosity. In season 7, during Richard's near-death experience, she leaned on Lorelai a bit and at times seemed to treat her as an equal. This was all temporary behavior on her part but it was something.
 
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« Reply #104 on: September 27, 2007, 03:48:58 pm »


I think it does make sense that Emily would not have learned from past mistakes with Lorelai and repeat them with Rory. But i think it has less to do with Lorelai leaving and the long time warp in their relationiship and more because in Emily's mind she never made mistakes with Lorelai, at least none that she would admit to. She brought up the past more than Lorelai and it was always from the resentful point of view that Lorelai ran off and took Rory, and never any aknowledgement of Lorelai's own reasons for doing it. In short, Emily would never learn how to deal with teenagers because she rarely looks beyond the tip of her own nose. Not that i am excusing Lorelai for everything because i think Lorelai sometimes deserved an Emily grenade.

I don't really disagree with this.  Sometimes it felt like Lorelai never got a pardon for running away.  It was like Emily's thoughts were, "Well, I might have done something insensitive now -but you ran away, so you owe me a few hits"  And, that only includes those times when Emily did look past her nose. 

Quote
I agree that Emily was close to a cartoon villian in season 5 but i think she made occasional strides in season 6 and 7. In season 6, she offered to buy a house for L&L right on the outskirts of Star's Hollow, and not with any intent of manipulation but what i took to be an act of acceptance over their relationship, actual good-natured generosity. In season 7, during Richard's near-death experience, she leaned on Lorelai a bit and at times seemed to treat her as an equal. This was all temporary behavior on her part but it was something.
 

The house was one of my favorite Lorelai/Emily moments.  And, one where Emily is being the one to make the effort and gesture.  Most of them are from Lorelai to Emily.
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