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Author Topic: 1.03 - Kill Me Now  (Read 63587 times)
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HollowStar
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« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2007, 06:12:00 pm »

Sometimes I hate how "disloyal" Rory is to her mother.  I know that she has a separate relationship with her grandparents from the one that her mother has with them, but she can obviously see that they (especially Emily) mistreat her mother in horrible ways.  That said, she should side with her mother more often.  She could have stood up for Lorelai and said something to the effect of "Grandma, mom is just trying to prevent an awkward situation.  She doesn't mean to intrude on anything." 

Anyway, the gossip at the club was pretty funny.  I liked Rory's hat, too, although it didn't match her purple shirt.
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« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2007, 07:06:04 pm »

I also find it frustrating that Rory did not speak up more for her mom. But i think the reason is that she just wants everything to be ok, for everyone to get along & not to have any conflict. She would lay down & die for Lorelai, but i think she also yearns for the harmony that comes with a happy family. I'm not saying she is going about it in the best way, but i thnk that's what she is aiming for. (Whenever Chris visits in these early episodes, she is so thrilled to have him around, and i think it is part of her same desire.) I don't think Rory intends to be disloyal to Lorelai, or that Lorelai takes it that way, but it is tough at that age to feel caught in the middle of the endless squabble between her mother & grandmother. 
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« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2007, 08:52:30 pm »

I can see what you're saying.  She was a placater, someone who tried to avoid conflict in any possible way.  Passive aggressive.  While she may not have liked the way her mother was treated and certainly wasn't naive to the vindictive ways of her grandmother, she preferred to keep the peace.

She still annoyed the hell out of me at times.   Tongue
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« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2007, 09:41:20 pm »

I can see what you're saying.  She was a placater, someone who tried to avoid conflict in any possible way.  Passive aggressive.  While she may not have liked the way her mother was treated and certainly wasn't naive to the vindictive ways of her grandmother, she preferred to keep the peace.

She still annoyed the hell out of me at times.   Tongue

ha ha, sounds like you just wanted her to lash out at mean ol' Emily & give her what she deserves. That just wasn't Rory's style. I mean, when push seriously came to shove, Rory would show an inner toughness (such as dealing with Paris & the Chilton crowd), but yes she was a placater. That was part of her character. I don't know about the passive aggressive part though.

Another good example of Rory being a placater was in "Emily in Wonderland". After Lorelai & Emily had their blow-up, Rory explained to Lorelai that she showed Emily the town because she wanted Emily to understand their life more & feel part of it. She even blamed herself for the fight. She hoped that Lorelai & Emily might someday be able to talk about their problems & did not easily accept when Lorelai told her it wouldn't happen.

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« Reply #34 on: June 26, 2007, 02:08:46 pm »

Refresh my memory.  Where was the opportunity here for Rory to speak up for Lorelai?  I'm going from memory, but I recall Lorelai and Emily discussing Rory going to the club in the other room (after Lorelai made Emily leave the table).  Was there another confrontation between them where Rory was there to comment and let things slide? Maybe the thing about the leftover dessert from the inn?  But, I think making a point of talking about that would have just prolonged an awkward situation.

But, if there were, I can kind of see why Rory wouldn't jump to Lorelai's defense right there.  I've never seen Rory as shy, but she's fairly introverted, especially at age 16.  She wasn't comfortable with her grandparents at that time, either.  I have relatives who I hardly see, and I can't imagine ever telling them off (much less when I was a teenager) because I think that takes a degree of familiarity.
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« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2007, 02:30:27 pm »

The argument started at the dinner table over Rory's selection of a sport for school & the golf thing came up, but as usual it was really about Emily nosing in. They took it to a different room but Rory knew what was going on. In theory, Rory had ample opportunity to echo Lorelai and tell Emily that she & Lorelai would decide, etc. I felt like it was an example of Rory trying to be a peace-maker, going along with the golf thing & allowing Emily to be all over the situation. But i also get that it would not have been natural for Rory to speak up against Emily, it's not in her personality, even if she had been more familiar with Emily at that stage. I can imagine some other more outspoken grandchild saying at least something to Emily, but not Rory.

 
« Last Edit: June 26, 2007, 03:57:16 pm by bingbong » Logged



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« Reply #36 on: June 26, 2007, 08:06:44 pm »

Okay, thanks.  I could only remember Lorelai moving the discussion to the next room.
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« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2007, 08:14:29 pm »

Whew! When dani257, one of the most knowledgable posters, questions something, i am relieved when i get it right! Still a comparative rookie, am i. 
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« Reply #38 on: June 27, 2007, 06:40:09 am »

Whew! When dani257, one of the most knowledgable posters, questions something, i am relieved when i get it right! Still a comparative rookie, am i.
I agree. Dani always has long, knowledgeble posts.
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« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2007, 10:25:55 am »

Eh, I cheat.  Some episodes I have pretty good recall, but I also check the transcripts, especially if I'm trying to defend an argument.  The discussion after they left the table was just more interesting so it was easier for me to remember than what happened before.
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« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2007, 10:04:09 pm »

But, if there were, I can kind of see why Rory wouldn't jump to Lorelai's defense right there.  I've never seen Rory as shy, but she's fairly introverted, especially at age 16.  She wasn't comfortable with her grandparents at that time, either.  I have relatives who I hardly see, and I can't imagine ever telling them off (much less when I was a teenager) because I think that takes a degree of familiarity.

In a relationship that close, all of that goes out the window when your mother is being attacked.  As I have said elsewhere on this board, my mother and I are in a very similar boat to Lorelai and Rory, and I was quite like 16 year old Rory when I was 16.  However when someone attacks my mother, no matter who they are, I lash out. 

No, it wouldn't have made for a good episode or a good series if Rory had stood up to her grandparents every time they attacked Lorelai, but as I said, in a relationship that close, it wouldn't make sense for a daughter not to feel part of the hurt that her mother feels.
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« Reply #41 on: June 29, 2007, 02:16:58 pm »

But, if there were, I can kind of see why Rory wouldn't jump to Lorelai's defense right there. I've never seen Rory as shy, but she's fairly introverted, especially at age 16. She wasn't comfortable with her grandparents at that time, either. I have relatives who I hardly see, and I can't imagine ever telling them off (much less when I was a teenager) because I think that takes a degree of familiarity.

In a relationship that close, all of that goes out the window when your mother is being attacked. As I have said elsewhere on this board, my mother and I are in a very similar boat to Lorelai and Rory, and I was quite like 16 year old Rory when I was 16. However when someone attacks my mother, no matter who they are, I lash out.

No, it wouldn't have made for a good episode or a good series if Rory had stood up to her grandparents every time they attacked Lorelai, but as I said, in a relationship that close, it wouldn't make sense for a daughter not to feel part of the hurt that her mother feels.

I agree with you, Hollow Star.
Eh, I cheat. Some episodes I have pretty good recall, but I also check the transcripts, especially if I'm trying to defend an argument. The discussion after they left the table was just more interesting so it was easier for me to remember than what happened before.
That is not really cheating.
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« Reply #42 on: July 05, 2007, 05:04:15 pm »

  It's just my experience which may be different from others, but some people (even really close people) do their defending when they think the other person needs it -like when they're absent or silent or getting run over (figuratively).  Like when Rory got Emily for how she maneuvered to break up Lorelai and Luke (and Lorelai wasn't at Friday Night Dinner to speak for herself)

I don't know if this is the case (I mean, if Rory was thinking it) but another reason for not jumping in to defend Lorelai would be weighing the pros and cons.  Would it have been better to jump in and defend Lorelai from mild, if irritating jabs even though the outcome would probably have been Emily turning Rory's defense into an attack on her bad manners -which would have been a longer attack on Lorelai, because she would have seen it  as Lorelai's fault for raising Rory that way.  And, of course, any attack on Rory would have made Lorelai even more upset and prolonged things.  That might have been too detailed for Rory to think at that stage in her relationship with her grandparents, though.

But, I just don't have a criticism for a 16 year old for not hurling down the gauntlet in that situation. 
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« Reply #43 on: July 05, 2007, 06:58:05 pm »

Eh, perhaps.  My main point was not that Rory didn't confidently speak up to Emily, but that she went right along like nothing was wrong.  A simple, "Grandma, mom was only saying XYZ," with a very calm or even sweet tone would have sufficed.  Just anything to not make it seem like Lorelai was always in the wrong.  It just annoyed me more than anything, really.  Smiley
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« Reply #44 on: July 06, 2007, 10:02:25 pm »

The fight was really weird!
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