1.06 - Rory's Birthday Parties

[lessa]

Well, Lorelai didn't just run away, she ran away and justified it by telling her parents that living under their roof was a suffocating nightmare. I mean, every 16-year old is familiar with the expression "stick it out for two more years," but Lorelai announced unequivocally that her parents were just too awful. She loves them but she can't be around them. It's painful, even if Emily deserved it.

Which somehow I doubt. Rory later went on to successfully navigate Emily-parties and learn Emily-politeness. After seeing how Lane came out, it seems like the only reason Lorelai couldn't was because she didn't have a "Lorelai Gilmore" to help her put Emily into perspective as a child. Instead, she had a validating enabler to her behavior in Christopher.

[wmushell]

First of all, I am loving all of the conversation that has taken place about Emily thus far.  I believe this episode - along with Rory's Dance - sets the tone as to why Lorelai and Emily cannot put behind all of the baggage of the past.  The fault is mutual.  Emily has a highly critical and controlling nature which definitely made having her as a mother extremely hard for Lorelai growing up.  I don't actually place blame on Lorelai for running away, as I feel it was something necessary for her at that moment as a coping mechanism to being a teenage mother.  She needed a different environment.  Where I do find fault with Lorelai is letting the relationship with her parents go for such a long time.  It was mentioned that they came to visit a few times when she lived in the Independence Inn.  We learn in the pilot that Lorelai and Rory only came to Hartford for major holidays.  So, after a year or two of Lorelai licking her wounds it would have been good for her to try to forge some sort of relationship with Emily and Richard if for no other reason than for her young daughter to know her family.  However, Lorelai and Emily share the characterisitic of being extremely prideful and neither are very good at backing down on their stance.

I think it was very telling that at the beginning of the episode Lorelai hung on to any small act of understanding Emily made.  She kept repeating "pudding" when shopping with Emily to remind herself that Emily was indeed making an effort here.  She was also very pleased that Emily was listening to her suggestions about Rory's gift.  Of course, Emily and Rory's argument at the party brought all of the dysfunction back for her when she finds Rory upset in her room.  I love when Rory says she now knows what it was like growing up in the Gilmore house and Lorelai says it's not official until your huddled in the corner eating your hair.     It always interests me that Lorelai is very aware of the differences in her relationship with her parents and Rory's.  In her mind, Rory will never be able to truly understand what her childhood was like and really she is correct in that.  Rory was raised in a different environment and whenever she experiences her grandparents' control issues it is in short glimpses (the longest glimpse, of course, coming in season 6 when she lives in the pool house).   It was heartbreaking at the end when Emily realized how much of Lorelai's life she was not a part of -- I believe much of her regret lived inside of herself at that moment.

I really enjoyed this first "conflict" of the series between Rory and Emily.  It is good to see Rory assert herself.  She may have picked an inappropriate time to assert herself, but she is just sixteen - that seems fairly normal to me.  As far as Emily getting angry with her -- I really felt that is the time where she should have been the adult in the situation and let it go for the time being and accept Rory's apology.  Especially as it was Rory's birthday.  She did go to a lot of trouble to make a nice party -- but she also pushed the idea of it and went full steam ahead without asking any input from Rory.  Showing up at the Stars Hollow party was indeed a gesture that was wonderful -- Rory could feel better about the argument and know her grandparents loved her.

And - of course - I love Luke in this episode!  I believe it is the first time in the series where he really shows he is more than a gruff guy who gives Lorelai a hard time about what she eats.  His layer of generosity and caring - which become more and more apparent as the series progresses - glimpse out in this episode.  The special birthday coffee cake and showing up with ice in order to try to be helpful in his own way were both lovely gestures.

Emily has Luke and Lorelai pegged from day one.  She is very perceptive about them throughout the series.

Also, I think it was a brilliant ending to have Lorelai see Rory and Dean out the window and see her wondering how much she knows her daughter as well.  Perfection.

[Dani257]

Which somehow I doubt. Rory later went on to successfully navigate Emily-parties and learn Emily-politeness. After seeing how Lane came out, it seems like the only reason Lorelai couldn't was because she didn't have a "Lorelai Gilmore" to help her put Emily into perspective as a child. Instead, she had a validating enabler to her behavior in Christopher.

I don't really agree with the whole "well, Rory was okay with it so why couldn't Lorelai be?"  It's like if parents sign their kids up for basketball.  If one kid hates it, are they being unreasonable because their sibling happens to love it?  But, I really don't think it was the Emily-parties or Emily-politeness that was the issue.  Sure, Lorelai hated them, but I think she could deal with that.  I think it was the freezing out that she probably experienced on a frequent basis.  And, the feeling that she could never even mention any problems she had or explain her side of things because she was always in the wrong.  Rory did choose an inappropriate moment for letting Emily know how she felt and up to Emily's appearance at the second party (and maybe not even then) that's all Emily could see.  Rory embarrassed her.  No thought about why Rory did what she did, because that would mean that maybe Emily did something wrong or misguided.  And, no consideration to the fact that Rory did try to apologize in the form of inviting her to the second party.  No, it was just "you wronged me, all further discussion is unnecessary."  Rory was obviously hurt, but it didn't matter or register to Emily.  But, even with all that, Rory's experience was probably only a tenth of what Lorelai experienced.  She didn't like with Emily, and Emily probably had mellowed some which allowed her to relent enough to go to the second party.  I don't want to make any blanket statements, but sometimes a grandparent is a lot more mellow with their grandchildren than they are with their own children.  I could see that being the case with Emily.

[Sooks]

Also, I think it was a brilliant ending to have Lorelai see Rory and Dean out the window and see her wondering how much she knows her daughter as well.  Perfection.

This last thought that you stated, made me think about all the Rory/ Lorelai moments (there's thousands, I know) and how well they knew each other. At some points, more so than others. I think that they wanted so much to keep in the loop of one another's lives, that's how it always had been, so that's how it should continue, right? But, I think it was harder for Lorelai to swallow, knowing that her baby girl was growing up and that there would be things that she wouldn't know or know to the full extent, perhaps. The look on Lorelai's face at the end of the episode just confirms this. It's a beautiful ending to a wonderful episode! The intricate weavings of the lives of the girls is so beautiful and complex. It's just one more thing that makes this amazing story of The Gilmore Girls all that much more real and amazing!

[bingbong]

Also, I think it was a brilliant ending to have Lorelai see Rory and Dean out the window and see her wondering how much she knows her daughter as well.  Perfection.

This last thought that you stated, made me think about all the Rory/ Lorelai moments (there's thousands, I know) and how well they knew each other. At some points, more so than others. I think that they wanted so much to keep in the loop of one another's lives, that's how it always had been, so that's how it should continue, right? But, I think it was harder for Lorelai to swallow, knowing that her baby girl was growing up and that there would be things that she wouldn't know or know to the full extent, perhaps. The look on Lorelai's face at the end of the episode just confirms this. It's a beautiful ending to a wonderful episode! The intricate weavings of the lives of the girls is so beautiful and complex. It's just one more thing that makes this amazing story of The Gilmore Girls all that much more real and amazing!

This ending, of Lorelai looking out the window and wondering about Rory with Dean, has a parallel in season 5's "The Party's Over". In that ep, after Lorelai calls Emily to chide her about throwing a party in Rory's honor with the hidden purpose of finding a suitable match for Rory, Lorelai looks out the window and sees Rory happily (and drunkenly) getting out of Logan's limo, and gives a similar look to the one in this episode, perhaps wondering "where is Rory heading, how well do i know her, are we on the same page...". To me, it always brings perspective to their "best friends" relationship, because in my opinion they are always mother-daughter first. Lorelai had trouble coming to grips with the idea that, as Sooks and wmushell put it, there would be things she wouldn't know about. Sometimes Emily was part of this equation and it added further complexity.

[Sooks]

Also, I think it was a brilliant ending to have Lorelai see Rory and Dean out the window and see her wondering how much she knows her daughter as well.  Perfection.

This last thought that you stated, made me think about all the Rory/ Lorelai moments (there's thousands, I know) and how well they knew each other. At some points, more so than others. I think that they wanted so much to keep in the loop of one another's lives, that's how it always had been, so that's how it should continue, right? But, I think it was harder for Lorelai to swallow, knowing that her baby girl was growing up and that there would be things that she wouldn't know or know to the full extent, perhaps. The look on Lorelai's face at the end of the episode just confirms this. It's a beautiful ending to a wonderful episode! The intricate weavings of the lives of the girls is so beautiful and complex. It's just one more thing that makes this amazing story of The Gilmore Girls all that much more real and amazing!

This ending, of Lorelai looking out the window and wondering about Rory with Dean, has a parallel in season 5's "The Party's Over". In that ep, after Lorelai calls Emily to chide her about throwing a party in Rory's honor with the hidden purpose of finding a suitable match for Rory, Lorelai looks out the window and sees Rory happily (and drunkenly) getting out of Logan's limo, and gives a similar look to the one in this episode, perhaps wondering "where is Rory heading, how well do i know her, are we on the same page...". To me, it always brings perspective to their "best friends" relationship, because in my opinion they are always mother-daughter first. Lorelai had trouble coming to grips with the idea that, as Sooks and wmushell put it, there would be things she wouldn't know about. Sometimes Emily was part of this equation and it added further complexity.

WOW! That's mind blowing, the parallel that you've just shown here. And to think that Emily was the one behind not just one party that Rory wasn't okay with or didn't have any idea of, but two. And on top of that, Lorelai didn't know quite everything that she thought she knew.

As I was thinking more about this episode, I wish that Emily would have remembered how she felt when she left Rory's party at her house. After not knowing that much about her own daughter. She tires to stay more a part of Rory's life and with Friday night dinners, I think the intention may be there if it weren't for a lot of those dinners being about Emily or Richard or the problems in Lorelai's life growing up there. I wonder if part of why Lorelai has such a hard time when she finds out one more piece to Rory's life than she had before, might be because she just never wants to be like her mother...and Emily as we all know, really didn't know Lorelai too well. However, I think Emily knew Lorelai a bit more than people give her credit for.

This story is more and more complex and there's so much 'meat' to it, I just love it! Whoever says this show is just about a couple of fast talking girls, really doesn't know!

[LoveMe011]

i love the way this episode illustrates the difference between emily and richard's world and lorelai and rory's world by showing us both birthday parties.

i think it's interesting to see emily's response when rory blows up at her at the party she threw for her because she automatically looks at lorelai and blames it on her. God forbid emily admit to having done anything wrong. then, when rory tries a couple of times to apologize only to be cut off by emily acting like a two-year-old child, lorelai sends rory to the car and decides to take matters into her own hands. the first time i watched this episode, i thought lorelai was going to go in there and scream at her mother, but she actually does a good job of maintaining her composure and inviting emily to the stars hollow party the next night. i definitely would not have kept my cool that well had i been in that situation. i loved the fact that emily and richard DID show up for the stars hollow party. i can almost imagine what it would be like had the episode featured a scene of emily and richard discussing whether or not to go. emily would be saying that it would be a good chance for them to see what this elusive stars hollow was like, and richard would be emphasizing the fact that it was a different world and probably unneccessary that they attend. i think emily wanted to go as a way of showing rory that she was forgiven for her outburst at the hartford party and also to see what it would be like. if you remember the part where lorelai goes shopping with her mother in order to help her pick out a gift rory would actually like, emily says "i want to get her something she'll actually LIKE...something you would get her." i think emily's attending the stars hollow party was an extention of this effort to get to know rory a little more and see her for how she IS rather than for how emily wants her to be. she gets to take a peek into the world of stars hollow and meet a few of the characters, which only happens a few times throughout the series.

richard sitting on the porch reading the teen magazine and being intrigued by it made me laugh out loud.
"i am an autumn."

=]

[gilmoregirls1fan]

i really love this episode!
my favorite part is when
lorelai cralls in bed with rory
and tells her about the day she was born
 

[thevoid99]

I think this was a great episode.  We get to see more dimension to several characters.

We do see how fragile Lorelai and Emily's relationship is and I know Emily tries to do what she thinks is best but always in the wrong way.  Plus, the realization of how little she knows of Lorelai was quite sad.

I don't like Tristin.  He's just one of those lame pretty boys guys just want to beat up.  Dean at least made a nice present.  Paris has a soft side...?  Well, we start to see her being developed. 

Oh, here's an interesting sidenote.  There's a scene where Rory is walking on the hallway with her birthday invitation and there's all these kids looking at her and talking.  One of them was Nora Zehetner of the 2005 classic film Brick.  One of my fave films of all-time.  Wow... She was the girl talking to Louise, I think. 

Emily knows that Luke likes Lorelai.  And now, via Virtual Season 8, Emily respects Luke and feels that he's more than worthy of being with Lorelai than that... other wussy guy named Christopher. 

[gg crazy]

WOW!! Rory really has a crazy grandma!!

[Gilmore Gyrlie]

can't stand Tristan, he needs to go away.

Paris is actually human...WHO KNEW?

Felt a bit sorry for Emily at the end but I'm sure she wiil do/say something to make me hate her again soon.