Cassy, those are hilarious!

Lorelai: Rory, your real father is Kirk.
Rory: Mom, i'm dropping out of Yale and going to live with grandma and grandpa (oh, wait....)
Emily: Lorelai, i did a terrible job raising you and i apologize for everything.
Mrs. Kim: Lane, i found the perfect boy for you. He's a punk rocker with a mohawk haircut and he dropped out of school. Here is a condom. Have yourself a wonderful time.
Zach: My favorite book is Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
Paris: I dropped out of school and found a great job at McDonald's.
Luke: Lorelai, i'm dumping you for Anna.
Michel: I am donating my next pay check to charity.
Taylor: I am resigning as Town Selectman and moving to Bangkok.
Sherry: I graciously accept this award as Mother of the Year.