I thought Luke was pretty funny with his:
LUKE: You are not allowed on either end of this apartment. You are, instead, to remain here in the middle portion of the room. You may sit on the couch or on the chair, as long as you two are sitting on separate seats, i.e. when you’re on the couch, then she’s on the chair. When she’s on the couch, then you’re on the chair.
JESS: I get it, thank you.
LUKE: On weekdays, you will have her home by nine. On weekends, you will have her home by eleven. Any evidence of alcohol, cigarette smoke, or anything else that Nancy Reagan would find unacceptable and you will not be allowed near her without an adult present. Are these rules clear?