Hosted by FanForum

Site Navigation

Cast & Characters
Episode Guide
Recent News
Show Spoilers
Images & Photos
Weekly Ratings
Featured Music
Message Board
Chat Room
Fan Extras
Show Fashion
Fun & Games
Mailing List
Gilmore Girls FAQs
Related Links
Link This Site
Site Info.


Stars Hollow Place
Lauren Online
The Charmed Ones

Transcript: Lost and Found ...

Written by: Amy Sherman-Palladino
Directed by: Gail Mancuso


[Lorelai and Rory are walking toward Lukeís]

LORELAI: It still hurts.

RORY: Do you need stitches?

LORELAI: Probably.

RORY: Well, then we should go to a doctor.

LORELAI: No, no doctors. You go into a hospital, you donít come out again.

RORY: Well said, Ida Morgenstern.

LORELAI: Iím starving. I need pancakes.

RORY: Can I just ask Ė .


RORY: What on earth you thought you were doing?

LORELAI: I thought I was being a self-sufficient woman.

RORY: You hate ladders, you hate heights.

LORELAI: We needed our rain gutters cleaned.

RORY: Yeah, well, hire somebody.

LORELAI: Oh, well, arenít we suddenly a Rockefeller.

RORY: Well, itís better than you killing yourself.

LORELAI: Oh, Iím fine. Iím just being dramatic. Itís what I do.

RORY: No more ladders.

LORELAI: I promise.

RORY: Okay.

LORELAI: I think I have gangrene.

RORY: You do not.

LORELAI: And vertigo.

RORY: Oh boy.

LORELAI: And one leg suddenly feels shorter than the other.

RORY: This is gonna be the Vanity Fair paper cut incident all over again, isnít it?


RORY: Leave your bandage alone.

LORELAI: Look, itís turning purple, but a really glowy purple. Look!

RORY: No, thanks.

LORELAI: Hm. Maybe our rain gutters are radioactive or made out of some kind of alien metal so that when I cut my hand I got infected with an extraterrestrial substance which is altering my internal makeup. Ugh, maybe Iíll turn into a superhero.

RORY: Maybe.

LORELAI: Like, maybe tomorrow Iíll wake up and suddenly be able to shower really fast.

RORY: Weíll go pick out your cape after breakfast.


[Lorelai and Rory are sitting at a table]

LORELAI: God, Iím starving. Must be from the loss of blood.

RORY: Yes, that must be it.

LORELAI: Iím getting pancakes with a side of pancakes. Whereís Luke?

RORY: I donít know. Storage room?


RORY: Caesarís cooking.

LORELAI: Why is Caesar cooking?

RORY: I donít know.

LORELAI: Thatís bad.

RORY: His pancakes stink.

LORELAI: They do stink.

RORY: Well, what do we do? Resort to doughnuts.

LORELAI: Wait here.

[Lorelai walks over to the stairway to Lukeís apartment]


[Lorelai knocks on Lukeís apartment door]

LORELAI: Hey Luke, are you in there?


LORELAI: Luke, are you okay?

LUKE: Stupid box! Stupid lamp!

LORELAI: Hey Luke, are you being attacked by your possessions again?

[Luke opens the door]



LORELAI: Whatcha doing?

LUKE: Iím looking for my supply ledger.

LORELAI: Is it going well?

LUKE: Itís going fine.

LORELAI: You have a sock on your shoulder. Is it helping you look?

LUKE: What are you doing up here?

LORELAI: Rory and I are starving. We need you to cook us breakfast.

[she walks into the apartment] Oh my God.

LUKE: Caesar can make you breakfast.

LORELAI: What happened to this place?

LUKE: Nothing.

LORELAI: This is what I always pictured the inside of my head to look like.

LUKE: See if you can find a brown leather ledger.

LORELAI: Iíve never seen so much stuff. It looks like a white trash Hearst Castle in here.

LUKE: On second thought, Iíll find it myself.

LORELAI: Whereíd all this come from?

LUKE: Jess. Liz shipped the rest of his stuff last week. He finally unpacked.

LORELAI: Well, he did a very nice job.

LUKE: I know itís crazy now, but I just have to get it all organized, figure out where to put everything, buy another dresser, a portable wardrobe, some storage bins.

LORELAI: Can of gasoline, box of matches.

LUKE: Did I mention that Caesar can cook you breakfast?

LORELAI: But he doesnít make the good fluffy pancakes like you do.

LUKE: Then order eggs.

LORELAI: No! See, I had a near death experience today.

LUKE: Really?

LORELAI: Yes. I almost fell off the roof of my house trying to clean the rain gutters, so I have to have pancakes. Please? Iíll help you shower when I become a superhero.

[Jess walks out of the bathroom]

LUKE: Youíve been in there for two hours.

JESS: Yeah, well my hair just ainít bounciní and behaviní today.

LUKE: There are other people living here too, you know.

JESS: Huh, learn something new everyday.


LORELAI: Well, his people skills are really improving.

LUKE: Go downstairs. Iíll be there as soon as I can.

LORELAI: How long is that?

LUKE: I donít know.

LORELAI: An estimate.

LUKE: I donít know.

LORELAI: Ballpark figure.

LUKE: I - .

LORELAI: Off the top of your head.

LUKE: Will you Ė

LORELAI: Did I mention that I almost fell off my roof today?

LUKE: Iíd lie down if I could find the bed.

[Lorelai sees the supply ledger and picks it up]

LORELAI: Oh, is this what youíre looking for?

LUKE: Yes, great, thank you.

LORELAI: Not unless you make me the pancakes.

LUKE: Give me the book.

LORELAI: Give me the pancake!

LUKE: Come on.

LORELAI: Thank you.

LUKE: You sure you werenít almost pushed off the roof of your house today?


[That night, Lorelai and Rory are walking down the street]

LORELAI: Well, I think Iím finally ready to get a tattoo.

RORY: Oh please.


RORY: Youíve been saying that for the last five years.

LORELAI: I know, but I mean it this time.

RORY: Fine, what are you getting?

LORELAI: Mel Brooks.

RORY: Why?

LORELAI: What do you mean, why? The Two Thousand Year Old Man, Young Frankenstein, Silent Movie Ė you donít think Mel has earned the right to have his face on my butt?

RORY: I am so sorry, Mel.

LORELAI: Oh, heíll love it, trust me. So, rocky road hot fudge sundaes and two cans of whipped cream to go with the movies?

RORY: Trying to give Mel a bigger canvas to work with?

LORELAI: Hey, the manís a legend, he deserves the best.

[As they pass the diner, Lorelai notices Luke inside sitting at a table]


RORY: What?


RORY: Whatís he doing?

LORELAI: Iím not sure. Hey, will you go get the ice cream and make sure they give us a ton of maraschino cherries?

RORY: Okay.

LORELAI: Thanks.


[Luke is sitting at a table watching a very small television set as Lorelai knocks on the door]


LUKE: Hey, what are you doing?

LORELAI: Oh, uh, Rory and I just hit the video store. Now weíre on our way home to eat a large amount of something you would not approve of.

LUKE: Sounds good.

LORELAI: What are you doing?

LUKE: Oh, watching TV.

LORELAI: Ah. Wow, thatís cute. Is this the first time itís been away from its mother?

LUKE: Itís a very good TV.

LORELAI: Hm, black and white, coat hanger antenna, really bad reception.

LUKE: Itís fine.

LORELAI: Donít you have a fully grown TV upstairs?

LUKE: Yeah, well, Jess is upstairs.


LUKE: So when Jess is upstairs, that means the stereoís blaring and the place is a mess. I just needed a little privacy.

LORELAI: So you came downstairs.

LUKE: Yes.

LORELAI: To sit on an uncomfortable chair in an empty diner that smells like onion rings.

LUKE: Yes.

LORELAI: Calgon, take me away.

LUKE: It was very peaceful until two minutes ago.

LORELAI: Hey Luke, do you ever think that, uh, maybe you should get a bigger apartment?

LUKE: I donít need a bigger apartment.

LORELAI: That place upstairs was your fatherís office. You turned it into an apartment. It was never meant to be lived in.

LUKE: Itís fine.

LORELAI: Itís too small for two people. Itís too small for one person if they have any kind of life.

LUKE: Weíll make due, we just need to organize.

LORELAI: No, you donít need to organize. You need to move.

LUKE: I like my apartment.

LORELAI: Itís not just your apartment. Jess lives there also.

LUKE: Jess is fine.

LORELAI: Are you sure? Because he could be pinned down under a box for a year in that place and you wouldnít know it until the neighbors started to complain about the smell.

[Rory walks in]

RORY: Hey Luke.

LUKE: Rory, perfect, get her out of here. Go.

LORELAI: But, uh, okay, fine. Iím leaving. Think about what I said.

LUKE: Oh, hey, did you ever hire anybody to do that work for you?


LUKE: The rain gutters.

LORELAI: Oh, no, not yet. Are you offering?

LUKE: No, actually, I was thinking about Jess.

LORELAI: Uh, Jess?

LUKE: Yeah, heís always looking for a little extra cash. He doesnít make that much here, and, you know, I hate to think of where else he might try to get it, soÖ


LUKE: I mean, you donít have to pay him the same as would someone else, and you save a little, he keeps busy.

LORELAI: Yeah, well, maybe. Um, I actually have to check with a couple of people Iím supposed to hear from, but if they canít do it, then sure.

LUKE: Great, just let me know.

LORELAI: I will. Bye.


[Lorelai and Rory walk out of the diner]

RORY: So who are all these people you asked to clean out our gutters?

LORELAI: Oh, well, you know.

RORY: I do?

LORELAI: Sh-yeah.

RORY: Remind me.

LORELAI: Okay, well, thereís Sid.

RORY: Oh, Sid, right.

LORELAI: And then thereís Lou.

RORY: Yeah, a good man, Lou.

LORELAI: Oh, and also Moose. That is, if Doris will let him out of the house again, you know, after that incident at Chickyís bachelor party.

RORY: I thought you said you were gonna give Jess a chance.


RORY: Then why donít you hire him?

LORELAI: Iím just not very comfortable with him, Rory.

RORY: Well, try and get comfortable.

LORELAI: Well, I donít know if I can.

RORY: But you said - .

LORELAI: I know what I said, but I canít help it.

RORY: How many times do I have to tell you Ė .

LORELAI: That I donít know the real Jess?

RORY: You donít.

LORELAI: Well, fine, I donít know him, but Iím not too fond of his stand in.

RORY: People are different once you get to know them. If youíll remember, you werenít too fond of Luke when you first met him.

LORELAI: Thatís not true.

RORY: You called him Duke for two years just to make him mad.

LORELAI: And let me tell you, it worked.

RORY: But then you guys talked and eventually, time went by, and now you love him.

LORELAI: Well. . .

RORY: Iím just asking you to give Jess that same chance.

LORELAI: Rory, you like him. I donít have to like him.

RORY: Please?

LORELAI: Can I at least call him Tess for a little while?

RORY: Youíll give him the job?

LORELAI: Iíll give him the job.

RORY: Thank you.

LORELAI: Youíre welcome. Tell me something.

RORY: What?

LORELAI: Why is it so important to you that I like him?

RORY: Well, I just think that heís Lukeís nephew and we like Luke and we eat at Lukeís everyday, and we see Jess when we eat there everyday, and that it just might make things nicer if you liked him.

LORELAI: And thatís the only reason?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: Itís all about Luke and the diner?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: It has nothing to do with you?


LORELAI: So you and Jess arenít friends?

RORY: Well, yeah, weíre friends.

LORELAI: Uh huh.

RORY: I mean, weíre not good friends but weíre friends. Weíre friendly. But that doesnít mean that weíre friends in the traditional Websterís dictionary definition of friends.


RORY: Friendish might be a better term.

LORELAI: Okay, friendish. Got it.

[They pass by a group of walkers that Miss Patty is instructing from a golf cart.]

MISS PATTY: And walk, and walk, and pump your arms and walk. And shoulders back, tucus in, think about that double chin and walk and walk and walk and tummies tight and walk. Match me sweetheart.


[Luke walks in, Jess is asleep, music is blaring.]

LUKE: Jess?

[Luke turns the music off] How can anyone sleep through that? Itís like the Huns are attacking and youíre just Ė well, youíre oblivious and thatís why you can just lie there while the rest of the world is going - .

[he knocks over his little television] Great! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

JESS: Whoa, geez, what the hell?

LUKE: I canít stand it, Iím going crazy. This place is awful. I canít live like this anymore.

JESS: Just relax.

LUKE: I canít relax. I canít sleep. Iím having nightmares about being chased around by boxes with arms and they tackle me and pile clothing on top of my face and secure it around my head with packing tape and Iím just lying there choking while youíre sitting in the corner laughing, putting gel in your hair with a switchblade!

JESS: Should I be putting a tongue depressor in your mouth right about now?

LUKE: Weíre moving.

JESS: What?

LUKE: Tomorrow.

JESS: What are you talking about?

LUKE: Iím talking about you and me going out, getting a paper, and finding a new place to live.

JESS: But I Ė .

LUKE: No buts. Ten oíclock tomorrow morning I want you up, washed, moussed, and ready to leave, end of story. Now go back to bed. What?

JESS: I need the music on to sleep.


[The next day, Luke and Jess walk out of an apartment building]

JESS: Forget it.

LUKE: Why, what was wrong with that one?

JESS: It was pink.

LUKE: We can paint it.

JESS: You mean I can paint it.

LUKE: We can paint it together.

JESS: Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.

LUKE: Fine, which one do you like?

JESS: The one before.

LUKE: The one with the two fridges?


LUKE: Well, the one before was the one with two fridges.

JESS: No, the one we saw before was the one with the cat.

LUKE: I hate cats.

JESS: Well, I donít think the cat came with the place.

LUKE: Yeah, but it had carpeting which means itís always gonna smell like a cat.

JESS: Clean the carpet.

LUKE: Paint the pink.

JESS: Fine, the one next to the bank.

LUKE: Too many windows.

JESS: What?

LUKE: Six windows all on one side, three oíclock in the afternoon Ė weíre sitting in an oven.

JESS: So we get curtains.

LUKE: Well, youíll have to help me put them up.

JESS: Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.

LUKE: Stop saying that.

JESS: You know what, I donít care. Pick whichever one you want.

LUKE: Iím not picking by myself.

JESS: Youíre the one who wants to move.

LUKE: Oh, so you like living the way we do?

JESS: Fine by me.

LUKE: No space, no privacy.

JESS: I got plenty of privacy.

LUKE: Yeah, because Iím sitting downstairs in the dark watching a two-inch V.

JESS: Hey, youíre the one with the problem, you make the choice.

LUKE: Jess, come on.

JESS: I have to go.

LUKE: We got three more places to look at.

JESS: Iím supposed to be at Lorelaiís in twenty minutes, remember?

LUKE: Oh, yeah.

JESS: I mean, if you want me to bail on her, fine.

LUKE: Nah, you go. Iíll look at the places all alone.

JESS: Great idea.

LUKE: Iíll take some Polaroids and you can take a look at them later.

JESS: Take a Polaroid, paint a still picture, whatever you want.

LUKE: Jess, come on.

JESS: Hey, nobody asked me if I wanted to move to Stars Hollow, but Iím here. Pick whatever place you want and Iíll be there too.


[Lorelai is sitting on the couch as Rory walks through the front door]

RORY: Mom?

LORELAI: Come here, come here, come here.

RORY: Iím here, whatís the matter?

LORELAI: Sit, sit, sit. Okay, that should do it.

RORY: Do what?


RORY: What are we waiting for?

LORELAI: Patience, grasshopper.

RORY: Are we close?

LORELAI: Very close. Hm, getting closer.

RORY: Should I get chips?

LORELAI: Ready, and Ė .

[They stare at a digital clock. When it changes, the clock starts making pig noises.]

RORY: The clock is grunting.

LORELAI: This, my friend, is a state of the art CD/clock radio that enables you to wake up to the barnyard animal of your choice.

RORY: That is great.

LORELAI: I have selected the perky piggies. You might choose the cheery chickens or the goofy goats.

RORY: That is closest to a farm that I ever wanna get.

LORELAI: Amen, sister friend.

[Thereís a knock at the front door]

RORY: Iíll get it.

[answers the door] Hey.

JESS: Here.

[tosses her a CD]

RORY: The Shaggs?

JESS: Trust me

RORY: Okay. So youíre very punctual.

JESS: Yeah, well, it was this or continue apartment hunting with Luke.

RORY: Youíre moving?

JESS: I donít know. Luke flipped out last night and next thing I know, heís dragging me all over town banging on pipes and measuring square footage. Itís crazy.

RORY: A new place might be nice. More space, maybe youíll get your own room.

JESS: You change your hair?

RORY: What?

JESS: Your hair looks different.

RORY: So, segueís not your thing, huh?

JESS: Is it?

RORY: Well, um, no, I wear it like this a lot. Why?

JESS: Just looks different.

RORY: Oh, bad different?


[from living room] Hey, ducks!

RORY: We just got a new alarm clock.

JESS: Huh. Bet I know what the lead story in the Stars Hollow Gazetteís gonna be tomorrow.

[Lorelai walks to the front door]

LORELAI: Hey, did you hear the ducks Ďcause theyíre great. Oh Jess, youíre here, terrific.

RORY: So, um, would you like to come in?

LORELAI: Oh, yeah, come on in. Sorry, itís just. . .so excited about the ducks that, uh. . .do you want something to drink? You have good timing Ďcause we shopped yesterday, and in addition to a case of Maybelline Fresh Lash Mascara, I also bought some of that new, uh, freaky Coke with the lemon in it. Itís very addictive.

RORY: You can sit, you know.

JESS: No thanks.

LORELAI: So, Jess, whatís new?

JESS: Not much.

RORY: Jess and Luke are looking for an apartment.

LORELAI: Oh, you guys see anything good yet?

JESS: Nope.

LORELAI: Well, you know, thereís some really cool places over on Peach. Or on Plum. Hm, Orange. Basically, any of your fruit named streets are pretty nice. Okay, well, I guess you should get started. Um, thereís a ladder right out front and some buckets and gloves and stuff on the porch. You need anything else, just walk against the wind.

RORY: Come on, Iíll show you.

[Jess walks out the door]

LORELAI: Iím trying.

RORY: Well, keep it up.


[Rory walks out of the house and over to Jess]

RORY: Question.

JESS: Yes?

RORY: You come over. You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences, even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables, and then my mother appears and suddenly we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what youíre thinking. Can you tell me why that is?

JESS: The verbal thing comes and goes.

RORY: I would really appreciate it if you would try to get along with my mom.

JESS: I took the Coke.

RORY: I know.

JESS: Personally, I think itís a little crazy to put lemon in Coke but I took it anyhow.

RORY: Stop it.

JESS: Ooh, stern face.

RORY: Look, I went out on a limb for you trying to get my mom to give you the benefit of the doubt, okay? So I donít think it would hurt you to try to be nice.

JESS: Why?

RORY: Why?

JESS: Yeah, why?

RORY: Because sheís my mom and sheís a friend of Lukeís.


RORY: What do you mean, so?

JESS: So just because sheís your mom or Lukeís friend doesnít mean that I automatically have to get along with her.

RORY: Jess, my mother is a great person. Sheís also my best friend in the world, so if you care about me at all, you will take that into consideration and you will be mildly polite to her.

JESS: What makes you think I care about you?

RORY: I donít mean care care, like care. I mean if you like me at all. . . not like like. I just meant that if. . . if you think of me remotely as the sort of person that you could occasionally stand to talk to then you will try to get along with my mom, thatís all.

JESS: Okay.

RORY: Okay?

JESS: I canít guarantee that itíll work, but Iíll try.

RORY: Thank you.

JESS: Youíre welcome. I should probably get to work.

RORY: Right. Sorry, go ahead.


[Several tables and racks of books are set up for the Buy a Book Fundraiser. Dean is sitting on the steps of the library as Rory walks over with some books.]

RORY: Inherit the Wind, seventy-five cents.

DEAN: Great.

RORY: Now, hereís a copy of Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet Ė which I already have, but in hardback. This is a paperback Ė fits perfectly in a coat pocket and itís only a dollar. Iím torn. Opinions?

DEAN: Get it.

RORY: You look bored.

DEAN: Iím fine.

RORY: You sure you donít wanna look around? They have great stuff here.

DEAN: I looked.

RORY: For five minutes.

DEAN: No, I looked for twenty minutes and then I stopped and you continued for another two hours.

RORY: It has not been that long. Oh, sorry.

DEAN: No big deal.

RORY: Letís go.

DEAN: Are you done?

RORY: Yup, Iíve looked enough.

DEAN: Youíre not done.

RORY: No, Iím fine, really. Letís go.

DEAN: Rory, stop it. You wanna keep looking, I know you.

RORY: No, I wanna hang out with you.

DEAN: Are you sure?

RORY: Yes, Iíll just pay for these and then we can go.

DEAN: I thought maybe we can go see The Lord of the Rings again.

RORY: Oh, okay.

DEAN: What?

RORY: Nothing.

DEAN: Well, I thought you loved The Lord of the Rings.

RORY: I do.

DEAN: You said you wanted to see it a hundred times.

RORY: Yes, and apparently weíre being very literal these days.

DEAN: Fine, weíll see something else.

RORY: Lord of the Rings is fine. Can you help me with these?

[They walk to the cash register]

KIRK: Iíll give you fifty-five cents.

GYPSY: Itís sixty-five.

KIRK: Fifty-five cents.

GYPSY: Kirk, itís for charity. Thereís no haggling.

KIRK: Oh no, thereís always haggling. Sixty cents.


KIRK: Thatís my final offer.

GYPSY: Iím sorry, I canít.

KIRK: Fine.

GYPSY: Kirk, come on.


GYPSY: Cough up another nickel.

KIRK: Forget it Ė itís the principal of the thing.

[walks away]

GYPSY: Wow, you made out like a bandit.

RORY: Well, youíve got great stuff this year.

GYPSY: Hey, did you see the astronomy section over there?

RORY: Oh, yeah.

GYPSY: Didnít find anything?

RORY: Nope.

DEAN: Wait, I didnít see you look over there.

RORY: Well, I did.

DEAN: Go look.

RORY: I told you Iím done.

DEAN: Hey, where. . . whereís your bracelet?

RORY: What?

DEAN: Youíre not wearing your bracelet.


DEAN: Where is it?

RORY: I took it off.

DEAN: Why?

RORY: Well, because I got this weird rash on my wrist.

DEAN: From the bracelet?

RORY: Oh no, just a fluke thing. Actually, I think my Spanish midterm gave it to me.


RORY: But itís getting better Ė itís almost gone.

DEAN: Well, good.

RORY: And as soon as itís completely gone, that bracelet goes right back on.

DEAN: So, uh, compromise.

RORY: What?

DEAN: You go look at the astronomy section, weíll go see Lord of the Rings, and on the way home weíll rent Autumn in New York and mock it for the rest of the afternoon.

RORY: With full-on impressions?

DEAN: With full-on impressions.

RORY: Deal.

DEAN: Go, Iíll wait here. Smiling, not at all bored.

KIRK: Sixty-two cents.

GYPSY: Get out of here Kirk.

KIRK: Damn.


[Lorelai walks into the kitchen, takes several containers of Chinese food out of the refrigerator, then walks outside.]

LORELAI: Jess? Hey, Jess!

JESS: Sorry, too loud?

LORELAI: Oh, no, itís fine. Uh, itís just. . . I got a ton of leftover Chinese food in the kitchen. I thought you might like some lunch.

JESS: No thanks.


JESS: Chinese sounds great.

LORELAI: Really?

JESS: If youíre sure you have enough.

LORELAI: Thereís plenty. Rory and I decided to take on the entire chicken column last night.

JESS: Ambitious.

LORELAI: Well, itís all out on the table, so come in when youíre ready.

JESS: Iím ready now.

LORELAI: Okay, then Iíll see you inside.


LORELAI: So, um, basically everything here is chicken. Youíve got garlic chicken, Kung Pao chicken, Szechuan Chicken, chicken in brown sauce, which looks and tastes remarkably like the Szechuan Chicken except itís got these red peppers in it and if you eat them, you die. Plate?

JESS: I thought Iíd, uh. . .

LORELAI: Oh, soapís on the counter.

JESS: So when was the last time you had those gutters cleaned?

LORELAI: Itís been awhile.

JESS: Yeah, I found an ĎI like Ikeí bumper sticker up there.

LORELAI: Is it really bad?

JESS: Well, it wonít be by tomorrow.

LORELAI: I like hearing that.

JESS: So you guys arenít too hot on vegetables, huh?

LORELAI: What are you talking about? Thereís green pepper in the Kung Pao.

JESS: My mistake.

LORELAI: So, are you a healthy eater like Luke?

JESS: No. No oneís a healthy eater like Luke. Yule Gibbons wasnít a healthy eater like Luke.

LORELAI: Wow, itís been ages since Iíve heard a good Yule Gibbons reference.

JESS: Many parts of a pine tree are edible.

LORELAI: Thatís right. God, I wonder what the research process was like to get that information.

JESS: Iíd say fairly painful.

LORELAI: Huh. Here. So howís school?

JESS: Itís still there.

LORELAI: You on any teams or anything?

JESS: No, no, no.

LORELAI: Not a jersey guy?

JESS: No, definitely not a jersey guy. Though the thought of throwing a ball at some jockís head isnít entirely unappealing. Look, Iím not really good at this small talk thing.

LORELAI: Youíre doing okay. Cold egg roll?

JESS: Why not?

[takes a bite]


JESS: Oh yeah.

[the front door slams and Rory yells from off camera]

RORY: Mom!

LORELAI: Here Ė right here! What?

RORY: Mom!


CUT to front entryway; Rory is looking through all the coat pockets as Lorelai walks over]

LORELAI: Whatís going on?

RORY: I donít know where it is!

LORELAI: Where what is?

RORY: My bracelet Ė itís gone.

LORELAI: What are you talking about?

RORY: How could I do this? How could I lose that bracelet?

[Rory starts looking in the living room]

LORELAI: Honey, tell me which bracelet Ė maybe I stole it from you.

RORY: Deanís bracelet.

LORELAI: The one he made you?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: Itís gone?

RORY: Yes.


RORY: I donít know where. If I knew where then I would have it.

LORELAI: Well, when did you first notice it was gone?

RORY: When he pointed out that I wasnít wearing it.

LORELAI: Oh, not good. What did you say?

RORY: That I had a rash and that I had to take it off until it healed.

LORELAI: Nice save, Gretzky.

RORY: Itís not here, itís not here. God.

LORELAI: Okay, letís retrace your steps. When was the last time you remember wearing it?

RORY: Um, I donít know.

LORELAI: Think hard Ė yesterday?

RORY: I donít know.

LORELAI: The day before?

RORY: I donít know.

LORELAI: The day before that?

RORY: Um, yeah.

LORELAI: Really?

RORY: No, I donít remember. I canít remember. Help me move the couch.

LORELAI: What about your locker at school?

RORY: I donít know why it would be there, I never take it off at school. I never take it off at all.

LORELAI: Anything?

RORY: Just Grandmaís pen.

LORELAI: Leave it there.

RORY: Why?

LORELAI: It makes life fun

RORY: Iím gonna freak out now.

LORELAI: Weíll find it.

RORY: Iím gonna have to tell Dean that I lost his bracelet.

LORELAI: Letís not even go there yet.

RORY: He made it for me.

LORELAI: Heíll make you another one.

RORY: But heís gonna be mad.

LORELAI: Heíll understand.

RORY: How do you know?

LORELAI: Iím looking at the track record and all signs point to heíll understand. Did you look in your room?


LORELAI: All right, Iíll check the car. And donít worry Ė if worse comes to worse and we canít find it, weíll follow Dean to work, hide behind the cantaloupes, jump him, blind him and heíll never find out.

RORY: As long as we have a plan.


[Michel is standing at the front desk; Lorelai is on the floor behind the desk]

MICHEL: Who is Randy Mill?

LORELAI: Ugh, let me see. Maintenance.

MICHEL: Are you going to be down there long?

LORELAI: Uh, I just wanna to make sure Roryís bracelet didnít get kicked back behind something.

MICHEL: Hmm, and so earlier when you told me to look for the bracelet and I told you I did look and I did not find it, youÖ

LORELAI: Just decided to double check.

MICHEL: Yes, though another theory is that you did not believe me.

LORELAI: I did too.

MICHEL: No, I believe you thought I was lying. That I did not actually get down on my hands and knees in a brand new Donna Karan suit and crawl around on a floor where people who have stepped in mud and garbage and animal waste have been traipsing all day long.

LORELAI: Itís not there.

MICHEL: No? Why, Iím shocked.

LORELAI: Okay, Iím sorry I doubted you, Michel.

MICHEL: Well, that means a lot, thank you.

LORELAI: We turned the house upside down. Roryís having a heart attack. Itís just awful.

MICHEL: Yes, well, as soon as my dry cleaning bill is paid for, you will have my sympathies.

LORELAI: I will pay for your suit, Michel.

MICHEL: Mm hmm.

[phone rings]

MICHEL: Independence Inn, Michel speaking. Hold on please.

[to Lorelai] Itís for you.

LORELAI: Lorelai here.

LUKE: I donít want a wood-burning fireplace.


LUKE: But if I take an apartment with a wood-burning fireplace, even though I could give a ratís ass about a wood-burning fireplace, I have to pay an extra two hundred dollars a month for the wood-burning fireplace.

LORELAI: Yeah, but - .

LUKE: And three of the places make you put down a five hundred dollar deposit if you have a dog. Can you believe this?

LORELAI: You donít have a dog.

LUKE: I know, but itís wrong.

LORELAI: Agreed. What else?

LUKE: Parking.


LUKE: How can people ask you for a monthly fee for a parking space? I mean, theyíre making money off your rent, off your utilities, when you use their coin-operated washer and dryer Ė thatís cash directly in their pocket. And by the way, itís not even that good a parking space. Itís out in the open under one of those trees that drops the sap on your car that eats away your paint.


LUKE: Whoís gonna pay for my car, huh? Whereís my five hundred dollar, paint-killing tree sap deposit?

LORELAI: You havenít found a place yet?

LUKE: And Iíve been looking all day.

LORELAI: There wasnít one place you liked?


LORELAI: Not one place that gave you a little feeling of, ĎHuh, well that has a nice vibe about it.í

LUKE: I donít use the word vibe.


LUKE: Maybe one place wasnít so bad.

LORELAI: Oh good, describe it to me.

LUKE: I donít know. It had walls with a kind of a floor with a light.

LORELAI: Okay, hold on here, mister. If you tell me itís got a roof, Iím stealing that baby out from under you.

LUKE: I just canít tell anymore. I need a second opinion.

LORELAI: Do you want me to come look at your apartment?

LUKE: Itís not my apartment, and yes.


LUKE: Now.


LUKE: Please?

LORELAI: Uh, well -.

LUKE: I promised the woman Iíd give her an answer today.

LORELAI: Okay, give me the address.

LUKE: Sixty-two and a half B Street. And thatís another thing Ė whatís with this half business? Why do all these apartments have this half thing going? Itís stupid. If sixty-two is taken, move on to sixty-three.

LORELAI: Luke, Iíll meet you there in twenty and a half minutes.

LUKE: Thank you.


[hangs up] Michel, I have to go out for a little while. Cover the desk for me.

MICHEL: Mm hmm.


MICHEL: Well, I mean, I'll say I'll cover the desk, but how will you know if I'm actually doing it?

LORELAI: I trust you, Michel.

MICHEL: I mean, it's just as possible I say I'll cover the desk, and the moment you've stepped away I'll put some fruit on my head and join a conga line somewhere.

LORELAI: I believe you looked for the bracelet.

MICHEL: And while I'm shaking it to the Miami Sound Machine, the phones here Ė they would ring and ring and ring, and no one to answer, no one to assist.

LORELAI: Okay, bye Mom.


[The real estate agent leads Luke and Lorelai through the apartment]

MARY: Itís a very quiet street and the owner keeps the building up beautifully. He hasnít remodeled it at all. Plus, I bet he could be persuaded to give the floor a little spruce if you like.

LORELAI: Oh yeah, weíd like a spruce.

LUKE: A spruce is unnecessary.

LORELAI: Hey, you never turn down a spruce.

MARY: Sheís right Ė listen to her.

LORELAI: Yeah, listen to me.

LUKE: You rarely give me a choice.

LORELAI: Come here so I can lick your face.

LUKE: What?

MARY: Now, I went over the square footage and the details of the lease with your husband this morning. Did he fill you in?

LUKE: What? Oh no, weíre Ė .

LORELAI: No, no, he didnít, but you know how men are. The minute that ball game comes on, all the realities of life just go right out the window.

MARY: Donít I know it.

LORELAI: I mean, I could answer the door wrapped in cellophane but unless I was wearing a Yankees cap. . .ugh, he wouldnít even notice.

LUKE: Geez.

LORELAI: Oh, donít be embarrassed Snuffy, Iím just teasing. Itíd be a Mets cap.

LUKE: Hey Mary, could you possibly leave me and little missus alone for just a minute?

MARY: Why, of course.

LORELAI: I promise we wonít do anything dirty.

MARY: Oh please, if my husband and I looked anything like the two of you, weíd never get dressed.

LORELAI: Oh, you are bad!

MARY: Let me just leave this rental agreement with you in case you decide to fill it out.

LUKE: Thanks.

MARY: Oh, I hope you take it. Itís got a great vibe for a nice couple like you two.


LORELAI: Oh, thirteen different shades of red!

LUKE: What is wrong with you?

LORELAI: You make it too easy.

LUKE: By standing here?

LORELAI: Oh, relax Snuffy. Letís talk. What do you think?

LUKE: She used the word vibe.

LORELAI: About the apartment.

LUKE: I donít know.

LORELAI: Okay then, break it down. List your concerns.

LUKE: Well, itís too big.

LORELAI: Itís not too big. Next.

LUKE: I donít need two bathrooms.

LORELAI: Yes, you do. Next.

LUKE: I like being on the bottom floor.

LORELAI: The top floorís quieter. Next.

LUKE: You know, somehow I think this would be easier if you just listed your concerns first.

LORELAI: Okay. Um. . .I donít have any. I think itís great.

LUKE: You do?

LORELAI: Yeah, itís light and airy. Itís got good windows but not too many so that the sun bakes you in the afternoon.

LUKE: Thank you.

LORELAI: Youíre close to work, the price seems good, youíre taking the spruce, and itís a two-year lease. Whatís two years?

LUKE: I donít know. I - .

LORELAI: Luke, you need to do this. You and Jess will kill each other if you stay in that place of yours.

LUKE: Yeah, but who knows how long heís gonna be here.

LORELAI: Why? Did something happen?

LUKE: No, but you never know.

LORELAI: No, you donít, but I think his mom sending his stuff is a pretty good sign.

LUKE: And even if he does stay, itíll be only for another year, and then heíll go off to college or Attica or whatever, and itíll just be me again.

LORELAI: Yeah, but - .

LUKE: And stuck with a new apartment, probably with neighbors I hate who are constantly cooking really strong smelling food.

LORELAI: Okay, back up here. Yes, Jess may go off somewhere someday, but that doesnít mean you will be alone forever.

LUKE: I am not getting a pet.

LORELAI: I'm talking about a lady friend.


LORELAI: A red-hot mama.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: A big, pretty dish of lovin' with a spoon made especially for you.

LUKE: Boy, do I not feel good now.

LORELAI: Luke, Rachelís not the only woman in the world for you. You'll meet someone, someday -- probably at a Timberland store, you'll ask her out. You'll pick her up and take her on a patented Luke Danes night of romance -- juice bar followed by the batting cages -- and then you'll ask her back to your apartment.

LUKE: Any amount of money if you stop right now.

LORELAI: Youíll bring her back to your place, lead her upstairs to the apartment door. You pause, gaze into her eyes Ė the stage is set, fate is waiting. You open the door, and she sees your teeny, tiny apartment Ė one room and no closet space and Jess' feet sticking up in the air Ďcause you never did get rid of that body!

LUKE: Stop, please.

LORELAI: And to make matters worse, she spots it: the single bed.

LUKE: What's wrong with a single bed?

LORELAI: You know what they say.

LUKE: No, what do they say?

LORELAI: Never, ever date a guy who owns a single bed. It means he's not open to a commitment.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: It says there's no room in this life for anybody but me.

LUKE: No, it says there's no room in this bed for anyone but me.

LORELAI: Okay, see, that's not a whole lot better.

LUKE: This discussion is now over.

LORELAI: Luke, as long as youíre in that apartment, youíre gonna have a single bed. Donít you want the possibility of more? Come on Luke, itís time. Make a move, take a shot, entertain the possibility of a non-unabomber existence. What do you say?

LUKE: You got a pen? Iím not taking the spruce.

LORELAI: Yes, you are.


[Lorelai arrives home and walks into the kitchen as Jess walks out of Roryís room]


JESS: Hey.

LORELAI: Did you get lost?

JESS: No, I was looking at Roryís books.

LORELAI: Uh huh.

JESS: I wanted to see if she had Franny and Zooey. She does.


JESS: I was gonna get it for her if she didnít.

LORELAI: Thatís very nice of you.

JESS: Yeah. Okay, so I should probably get back to work.

LORELAI: Mm hmm.


[Luke is shopping as Taylor walks up to him]

TAYLOR: Luke, good good goody good good. I was just on my way over to the diner to talk to you.

LUKE: Great. Go on over, Iíll meet you there.

TAYLOR: Oh, stop it, this isnít about anything thatís gonna make you mad. I just have a couple of questions about your application.

LUKE: What?

TAYLOR: Your application. Now I called your bank - .

LUKE: What application?

TAYLOR: Your application for the apartment. Now you have two accounts here -.

LUKE: How did you get my application?

TAYLOR: Well, Mary gave it to me, of course. Now Iím assuming that one of those accounts -.

LUKE: Why would Mary give you my application?

TAYLOR: Because I own the building.

LUKE: What? When the hell did you buy an apartment building?

TAYLOR: Well, I bought this particular one about two months ago.

LUKE: I look at a thousand apartments, I choose yours. How is that possible?

TAYLOR: Well, count yourself lucky, you. With me as the owner, there is a level of quality control that is sorely lacking in this town. For example, at all my properties, we measure the grass before, during, and after mowing to attain a perfect inch and a half height, which is both pleasing to the eye and good for the grass.

LUKE: All of your properties?

TAYLOR: Ten in all.

LUKE: Ten properties? What are you, buying up the town?

TAYLOR: Not yet, but someday Ė who knows?

LUKE: But why isnít anyone stopping you?

TAYLOR: Because, my friend, people are lazy. They donít wanna think about the proper fabric for an awning or the correct historical color for a building. They just slap any old thing up on a wall and sleep like babies. But soon, hopefully, the city council will put an end to that.

LUKE: Taylor, you cannot tell people what color to paint their buildings!

TAYLOR: Well, someone has to.

LUKE: No, they donít. We donít live in a fascist country.

TAYLOR: Oh, this isnít about the fascists Ė who, by the way, had their faults but their parks were spotless.

LUKE: I have to get out of here.


TAYLOR: Hey, eh, wait a minute.


[Taylor follows Luke down the sidewalk]

TAYLOR: Luke, hold it! I still need to talk to you.

LUKE: Just tear up the application, Taylor. Iím not moving.

TAYLOR: What? Why?

LUKE: ĎCause Iím the two-inch grass kind of guy.

TAYLOR: Well, thatís too bad but I need to talk to you about something else.

LUKE: What?

TAYLOR: Iím thinking about purchasing the flower shop next to the diner, but we need to talk about that sign of yours.

LUKE: What about my sign?

TAYLOR: Well, you have a diner but you never took down the Williamsí Hardware sign.

LUKE: That was my fatherís sign.

TAYLOR: I understand that you have a sentimental attachment to the sign, but it confuses the tourists.

LUKE: Back off the sign, Taylor.

TAYLOR: If I buy the building next to that sign, I run the risk of people being so busy trying to figure out if you sell hammers or burgers, that they never notice the nice collectible plate store right next door.

LUKE: Collectible plates?

TAYLOR: Isnít that a great idea? Elvis, The Beatles, Mary Poppins, all the greats. You can hang Ďem on the wall or you buy a little stand and set Ďem up on the coffee table.

LUKE: Okay, you need to get away from me now. At least a good arm swinging length away.

TAYLOR: Itís people like you who keep this town from becoming one of great towns in America, Luke.

LUKE: Arm swinging length!

TAYLOR: I wouldnít have approved your application anyway.


[Jess climbs down the ladder as Rory comes home and sits on the porch]

JESS: You look good.

RORY: Iím fine.

JESS: Talk.

RORY: I lost my bracelet.

JESS: Uh huh.

RORY: Dean gave it to me.

JESS: How thoughtful.

RORY: Iíve been all over town looking for it. Iíve been to Laneís, Iíve been to Lukeís, Iíve been to the bus stop, Iíve been to Miss Pattyís, and Iíve circled Stars Hollow twice and nothing. I have no idea what Iím going to do.

JESS: Itís really that big a deal?

RORY: What do you mean?

JESS: I mean, I know itís got an ĎIíve been pinnedí Bye, Bye, Birdie kind of implication to it, but it was just a bracelet.

RORY: I donít think Dean will see it that way.

JESS: You didnít lose it on purpose.

RORY: I know, but things have been a little weird between us lately and. . .you couldnít care less.

JESS: Oh, yes, I could.

RORY: I just think Dean will read something into this.

JESS: Should he?


JESS: I think you should keep looking.

RORY: Where?

JESS: Anywhere. Things you lose are usually right in front of your face. Check the house again.

RORY: Iíve checked the house.

JESS: Itís probably just laying in your room somewhere.

RORY: No, I tore that room apart, itís not there.

JESS: Fine, give up then. No biggie. Deaníll just have to get over it.

RORY: Iíll go look again.

JESS: You do that.


[Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks in]

LORELAI: Hey, where have you been?

RORY: Scouring the town.

LORELAI: Nothing, huh?

RORY: Not yet. Iím gonna check my room again.

[goes into room]

LORELAI: Havenít you already looked in there like a thousand times.


[from bedroom] A thousand and one. Mom, come here, hurry!


RORY: Mom!

LORELAI: Are you okay?

[CUT to Roryís bedroom]

RORY: I found it!


RORY: I looked under the bed and there it was. I thought I had already looked under the bed, but I donít know, maybe I was too panicked or. . .I donít know, who cares, I got it!

LORELAI: Aw, that is amazing!

RORY: Put it on.


RORY: Make it tight.

LORELAI: Oh, Iím cutting off circulation here, baby.

RORY: Oh, look at it. It looks even better than before, doesnít it?

LORELAI: I think the time away from home did it some good.

RORY: Okay, when I get back, we celebrate.

LORELAI: Where are you going?

RORY: To tell Lane she can stop praying.


[Lorelai walks out as Jess is getting ready to leave]

LORELAI: You leaving?

JESS: Yeah, all done.

LORELAI: You werenít gonna come get your money?

JESS: Ah, I figured Iíd get it eventually. Itís not like I donít know where you guys live.

LORELAI: Thatís true. You certainly do know where we live. Well here. After all, you earned it.

JESS: Thanks.

LORELAI: You took it, didnít you?

JESS: Excuse me.

LORELAI: Roryís bracelet Ė you had it the whole time.

JESS: No idea what youíre talking about.

LORELAI: Howíd you get it?

JESS: I didnít get anything.

LORELAI: What, did you break into our house, you got all dressed in black and pulled a Mission: Impossible?

JESS: Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.

LORELAI: Very funny.

JESS: Thought a ridiculous accusation deserved a ridiculous response.

LORELAI: So itís just a great big olí coincidence that I catch you coming out of Roryís room a half an hour before she mysteriously finds the bracelet under her bed?

JESS: Guess so.

LORELAI: Why would you do this?

JESS: I gotta go.

LORELAI: I mean, I know you hate the world, but I thought you liked Rory.

JESS: I didnít do anything.


JESS: Whatever.

LORELAI: Oh, donít whatever me, you little jerk. You let Rory run around completely panicked, thinking she lost her boyfriendís bracelet. She was miserable, do you understand that?

JESS: I didnít take it.

LORELAI: Iím sure youíre jealous of Dean because heís great and Roryís madly in love with him, but you taking the bracelet didnít hurt Dean, it hurt Rory. That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never takes it off. It means everything to her. And you stealing it was unbelievably cruel.

JESS: The most precious thing she owns?


JESS: If itís the most precious thing she owns, why did it take her two weeks to figure out it was gone, huh? You might wanna reevaluate how madly in love she is. I wouldnít start calling him son yet.

LORELAI: Get outta here.

JESS: You read my mind.


[Lorelai walks in and sits down on the couch. Thereís a knock on the front door, Lorelai answers it]

LUKE: I just spent a hundred thousand dollars and itís all your fault!

LORELAI: Oh, good.

[They walk into the kitchen]

LUKE: I ran into Taylor at the market, and I found out he owns the building that apartment was in.

LORELAI: No way.

LUKE: That and several others all over town.

LORELAI: That is so weird.

LUKE: Heís systematically buying up the town. Heís gonna turn it into Taylorville where everyoneíll wear cardigans and have the same grass height.

LORELAI: Luke, do you wanna sit down?

LUKE: And then he told me heís gonna buy the building next to the diner, turn it into a plate shop for freaks who donít have enough brain power to collect stamps. I lost it.

LORELAI: Uh, I canít picture that.

LUKE: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.

LORELAI: You ate that?

LUKE: No, I didnít eat it!

LORELAI: Of course not.

LUKE: Iím upset, not suicidal.


LUKE: I knew I just had to do something, and I had your voice going round and round in my head.

LORELAI: Yeah, itís kinda like the Small World song.

LUKE: Take a chance, Luke. Make a move, Luke. Canít have a single bed, Luke. So I bought the building!

LORELAI: You Ė you what?

LUKE: I went to the bank and got a cashierís check, signed the papers and I bought the building.


LUKE: I am the buildingís owner.

LORELAI: I heard.

LUKE: I own the building.

LORELAI: Okay, well, donít worry, maybe you can still get out of it. You can go back and tell them you lost your mind.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: Or I bet you can sell it to Taylor.

LUKE: Yeah.

LORELAI: So, relax, you can still get out of this.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: Unless you donít wanna get out of it.

LUKE: Oh no, I wanna get out of this. Uh, why would I not wanna get out of this?

LORELAI: Oh, well, owning that building gives you some options.

LUKE: Like?

LORELAI: Uh, like you could expand Lukeís if you wanted to.

LUKE: Yah.

LORELAI: Or you could rent it to someone else.

LUKE: Yah.

LORELAI: Someone else who might drive Taylor crazy.

LUKE: Maybe I should think about this.

LORELAI: Sure, sleep on it.

LUKE: Sleep on it, right, right.

LORELAI: You want some tea?

LUKE: Teaís good, sure.

LORELAI: Hey Luke, um, does Jess ever talk to you about Rory?

LUKE: Uh, what do you mean?

LORELAI: I donít know. They just. . .they seem to be thrown together quite a lot lately and I was just trying to figure out if thatís a coincidence or - .

LUKE: Or if thereís something going on.


LUKE: I donít know.


LUKE: Jess doesnít exactly confide in me.


LUKE: Of course, if there was something going on, I think thatíd be really great.

LORELAI: You do?

LUKE: Yeah. Roryís a great kid, sheíd be really good for Jess.

LORELAI: Oh, yeah, she would.

LUKE: You really think there might be something going on?

LORELAI: I donít know

LUKE: Boy, that would be great.

LORELAI: Yeah, great.


[Jess is reading and listening to music as Luke walks in and takes a sledgehammer out of the closet. He walks across the room and swings the sledgehammer through the wall, then hands it to Jess.]

LUKE: Thatís your room. Finish up. Weíll hold hands and skip afterwards.


Lost and Found Summary ...

Lost and Found Screencaps ...

Back to the Episode Guide ...