Written by: Elaine Arata
Directed by: Bruce Seth Green
PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS
LUKE: Sheís not here yet.
LORELAI: Alright, well youíll have to entertain me until she arrives. Ok,
burger boy - dance.
LUKE: Will you marry me?
LUKE: Just looking for something to shut you up.
TRISTAN: Well I actually thought youíd like to go with me.
RORY: You did not.
TRISTAN: Well I did too.
RORY: You did not because you are not stupid.
TRISTAN: Why thank you.
RORY: Slimy and weasely yes but stupid no.
PARIS: He was totally nice to you and you couldnít be a bigger jerk.
RORY: You like Tristan so much you go out with him.
LORELAI: What did you do?
LUKE: You wanted something festive.
LORELAI: You made me a santa burger.
LUKE: Itís no big deal.
LORELAI: No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before
TRISTAN: Oh, so youíre the big strong protector. Little princess needs a
DEAN: Whatís your problem man?
TRISTAN: Nothing, I just donít like your girlfriend, thatís all.
DEAN: Doesnít look that way to me.
GRANDMA: Were you on a date?
GRANDMA: You have an escort.
LORELAI: No, itís Luke, mom.
LUKE: Which is her way of saying we werenít on a date.
LORELAI: Iím sorry, I didnít mean it like that.
DEAN: You donít want to fight me Tristan!
TRISTAN: Why not?!
DEAN: Because Iíll kill you idiot!
GRANDMA: So what exactly is going on between the two of you?
LUKE: Weíre friends, thatís it.
GRANDMA: Youíre idiots. The both of you.
[Dean and Rory walking]
DEAN: He has a thing for you.
RORY: No he doesnít, itís just a game to him or something.
DEAN: He has a thing for you.
RORY: He does nothing but insult me and make me miserable.
DEAN: He has a thing for you.
CUT TO LORELAIíS ROOM
[Lorelai looking through her closet. Rory laying on her bed]
LORELAI: Absolutely nothing.
RORY: Oh come one.
LORELAI: Iím sorry, Iím looking but there is nothing in her.
RORY: Oh, youíre kidding right?
LORELAI: No, everything in here I wear.
LORELAI: I do. Thereís nothing to give up.
RORY: The red and black halter top?
LORELAI: Oh, no.
LORELAI: Uh, itís a classic.
RORY: Itís got rhinestones and zebra stripes on it.
RORY: It has tassels mom.
LORELAI: Ok, Iíve had this since I was 17
RORY: Ok, Iím sorry did I mention the tassels?
LORELAI: You are heartless and unsentimental.
RORY: And you are a hopeless packrat.
LORELAI: I donít understand why I have to up root my happy family of
RORY: Because itís a charity rummage sale.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: That you helped organize.
RORY: And volunteered to run.
LORELAI: It was very, very hot in that room that day, I was dehydrated.
They couldíve talked me into anything.
RORY: It was your idea.
LORELAI: Ok, I am a very sick woman and that should be apparent to anyone.
RORY: Ok, get out of the way.
LORELAI: [Blocking her closet] What are you doing?
RORY: Step away from the closet please. [pushes her aside]
LORELAI: Oh! Oh, this is so unfair! Oh no, no, no. [Rory takes a section
out of her closet] Not that whole chunk! Well, just - ok take that, thatís
ugly. Just that oneÖnoÖuh.
RORY: [walking to the dresser] Ok, now all of this goes [pointing to clothes
in her arms] I want you to come over here to this dresser, open up the top
drawer and take out everything that youíd be embarrassed to be wearing
during a car accident. Meet me downstairs. [leaves. Over her shoulder]
CUT GILMORE LIVING ROOM
LANE: Over here.
LANE: In back of you.
RORY: A big furry purple thing that could be either a hat, a toilet paper
cover or some kind of dirty hand puppet.
LANE: Mystery box on the left.
[Luke enters with two bags]
RORY: Hey Luke.
LUKE: Where do you want these?
RORY: What do you have?
LUKE: Clothes, rags and some old pots and pans [holding up respective bag at
RORY: Kitchenware can go in the kitchen and the clothes can go right over
LUKE: Ok. [heads for the kitchen after putting clothes down]
LORELAI: [comes down the stairs] Here Grinch.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Who wants cheese?
RORY: Are there crackers?
LORELAI: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes there are crackers.
RORY: And the Gilmore house?
LORELAI: Who wants cheese?
LANE: Me please. Um, kittens in the toilet poster? [holds up poster]
RORY: Another one?
LANE: This oneís signed.
LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Ah! There a man in my kitchen, somebody call the
LUKE: [coming into the living room. Lorelai following] Youíre momís a fruit
LORELAI: Fruit cakes by the door please.
LUKE: Good bye Rory, I wish you luck - [looks at Lorelai] with everything.
RORY: I appreciate that.
LORELAI: Ok, so rummage saleís Sunday, today is Tuesday. At this rate, we
are going to be sleeping in the yard by Thursday. We have got to start
getting some of this stuff out of the living room.
LORELAI: Go away.
TAYLOR: I have a full set of dishes.
RORY: Come on in Taylor.
LORELAI: Oh, um, dishes in the kitchen please.
TAYLOR: Ok, but I have to explain something first.
LORELAI: Fine go ahead.
TAYLOR: The butter dish has a small chip in it.
LORELAI: Safety tip - go it.
TAYLOR: Itís fine. I filed down the chip and if you place it strategically
on the table, nobody will ever know.
LORELAI: Uh, Taylor, would you like to write out some sort of instruction
manual to go with the dishes?
TAYLOR: Oh, could I?
LORELAI: Notepadís in the kitchen.
[Lorelai looks through bags]
LORELAI: Ooh, thatís nice.
RORY: Put that back.
LORELAI: But it has rhinestones on it.
RORY: The point of this is to get crap out of here, not to trade it in for
LORELAI: Ok, are you seeing this?
RORY: Yes I am.
LORELAI: No, I donít think you are, because if you were seeing this, you
would see that this obviously has ĎLorelaií written all over it.
RORY: Find, weíll just get rid of it at next yearís sale.
LORELAI: Thank you.
SOOKIE: Ok, you guys are gonna love me.
LORELAI: We already love you.
SOOKIE: No, I mean youíre really gonna love me.
LORELAI: We do.
SOOKIE: Trust me, you guys are gonna so love me.
LORELAI: Ok, the love is starting to fade now Sookie.
SOOKIE: I have here in my hand, as requested by Ms. Lorelai Gilmore, four
fabulous tickets to the Bangles at the Pastorella theater on Saturday!
SOOKIE: Do you love me?
LORELAI: Oh baby do I!
LANE: Are these good seats? These look like good seats.
SOOKIE: 9th row, aisle.
LORELAI: I canít believe you got me my tickets! Well, how did you score
SOOKIE: Remember the Birnbaum wedding?
LORELAI: Fiji fantasy?
SOOKIE: Yes. They were so thrilled with the volcano wedding cake that they
wanted to do something nice for me and since Mr. Birnbaum runs a ticket
agency and I knew you were dying to so, so I asked him if he couldÖ
LORELAI: Make four girls very happy.
SOOKIE: Yeah and he did!
LORELAI: Huzzah for the Birnbaums!
RORY: Hey Sookie, if you got four tickets and you and mom go, then that
SOOKIE: Hmm, one for you and one for Lane! [Lane and Sookie hug] Oh,
LORELAI: This is gonna be a very special night. And you know what a very,
very special night deserves?
LORELAI: [pulls out a hot pink dress] A new outfit!
LORELAI: What could the problem be?
RORY: This is the tackiestÖ.
CUT TO CHILTON
CALDECOTT: As I mentioned yesterday, we will be holding a debate next week.
Your subject ĎDid Charles I receive a fair trialí The pros will represent
the parliament who deemed they had sovereignty and the cons will represent
the monarch and try and prove that the charge against him was not legal.
What is fascinating Mr. Dugray? [catching him looking at Rory]
TRISTAN: Uh, nothing Ms. Caldecott.
CALDECOTT: Nothing Mr. Dugray?
TRISTAN: My notes - my notes are fascinating Ms. Caldecott.
CALDECOTT: Yes they are fascinating Mr. Dugray. As I was saying, the pro
and con teams will each have two minutes and 30 seconds for introductions,
six minutes to debate, three minutes for conclusions and five minutes for
questions from the audience. The winner shall be decided by a hand count
from the rest of the class. Does that sound like fun Mr. Dugray? [again,
heís looking at Rory]
CALDECOTT: The debate. Does it sound like fun?
TRISTAN: Yes, it does.
CALDECOTT: It does, doesnít it Mr. Dugray?
TRISTAN: Oh, it absolutely does Ms. Caldecott.
CALDECOTT: More fun than staring at Miss Gilmoreís ear?
TRISTAN: Yes Ms. Caldecott.
CALDECOTT: Yeah, I think so too. Ok, any questions? Good, Iíll assign your
teams. [Pointing]You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you, you, - pro. [in
background for next two lines] You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you -
PARIS: [whispers] Who did she point to?
MADELINE: [whispers] Well I think sheÖ [looking at Louise and Rory]
PARIS: [stands up] Excuse me, Ms. Caldecott?
CALDECOTT: Miss Geller?
PARIS: I wasnít sure who you pointed to just now.
CALDECOTT: Oh, uh, letís see. You, Miss Lynn, Miss Grant and Miss Gilmore.
PARIS: Are you sure?
CALDECOTT: Yes I am, but thank you for asking. [Paris sits] Ok, you, you,
you and you - pro. You and you - con.
CUT TO HALLWAY
[Paris, Louise, Madeline and Rory standing around]
RORY: So I guess we should make a plan.
MADELINE: To do what?
PARIS: To work out our debate Madeline.
MADELINE: Oh, yeah right.
LOUISE: We need a place to work.
PARIS: My house is out.
PARIS: Because it is.
LOUISE: You need a reason.
PARIS: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence
of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while
watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint
everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it Ďangelís kissí then weíre
going to have to find somebody elseís house to go to.
MADELINE: My brother has the measels.
LOUISE: My momís having an affair.
RORY: Well I guess we can go to my house. I mean, weíre having a town
rummage sale so itís kind of a mess, but itís there.
LOUISE: Isnít your house kind of far?
RORY: Itís thirty minutes away by bus.
LOUISE: Bus? I donít do Ďbusí.
RORY: Well if you have a better suggestion -
PARIS: Iíll drive.
RORY: Ok, so then tomorrow.
TRISTAN: [walks right past Rory] Hey Paris.
PARIS: Tristan, hi.
TRISTAN: You know I was really hoping weíd be in the same group.
PARIS: You were?
TRISTAN: Oh yeah. I mean, it would make the long hours of studying go by a
lot faster. Plus, come on - you and me on the same team, weíd wipe the
floor with the others. I guess weíll just have to pair up on something else
PARIS: That would be good.
TRISTAN: Yeah it would. Iíll see you later. Bye Madeline, bye Louise.
LOUISE: Tristan suddenly has very big eyes for you grandma.
PARIS: Stop it, heís just being nice.
MADELINE: He should be so nice to me.
LOUISE: And me.
PARIS: We need to get to class [the three of them leave. Paris is smiling.]
CUT TO RORY AND LANE WALKING TO KIM HOUSE
LANE: All three of them huh?
RORY: Double, double toil and trouble.
LANE: Well, it should make for an interesting afternoon.
RORY: With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.
LANE: Youíre doing very well in the Shakespeare class arenít you?
RORY: Not bad.
RORY: Thanks. Ok so whatís the plan?
LANE: Weíll go in and ask her if I can go to a play tomorrow night with you
RORY: A play?
LANE: I think thatís the safest word. Show or concert would be very bad.
RORY: What about saying itís a movie?
LANE: Too far from the truth - almost a lie.
RORY: But a play is not a lie?
LANE: Well itís far away from the truth that it might work but close enough
to the truth that I think I can negotiate a purgatory stint if forced to.
RORY: Play it is.
LANE: Ok, weíre going in.
[pan to inside Kim household]
MAN: Are you sure itís an original Queen Anne?
MRS. KIM: Yes - original.
MAN: The joints look wrong.
MRS. KIM: Joints are fine.
MAN: They look new.
MRS. KIM: Not new, nothingís new - whole store is old.
MAN: Do you have a certificate or a letter that you write saying that itís
MRS. KIM: Yes, Iíll write a letter.
MAN: Ok, well I guess if itís really old, Iíll take it.
MRS. KIM: We appreciate your business.
LANE: [whispers to Rory] She just made a sale, now is a good time. [louder]
MRS. KIM: Whatís wrong?
MRS. KIM: You look flushed.
LANE: I do?
MRS. KIM: You eat candy?
MRS. KIM: Doughnut?
MRS. KIM: Hostess fruit-pie?
LANE: No, nothing, Iím fine.
RORY: Hello Mrs. Kim.
MRS. KIM: Rory.
LANE: Mama can I talk to you for a minute?
MRS. KIM: Iím busy.
LANE: I know, I was just wondering if I could go somewhere tomorrow with
Rory and her mom.
MRS. KIM: Tomorrow is church.
LANE: This would be after church.
MRS. KIM: After church we think about what we heard in church.
LANE: Well I thought I could think about what I heard in church on the way
to the show.
MRS. KIM: Show?
LANE: Not show, play - itís a play mama.
MRS. KIM: Tell me about this play. Whatís it about?
LANE: Ok, well, itís about a group of people who own instruments and stand
in front of other people holding them.
MRS. KIM: What?
LANE: Iím not sure what itís about.
RORY: We could find out.
MRS. KIM: You find out, then we talk.
MAN: Excuse me, Iíd really like that letter if you donít mind.
MRS. KIM: Yes Iím coming. [leaves]
RORY: Howís that purgatory negotiation looking?
LANE: Not good.
RORY: What do we do now?
LANE: Iíll ask again later.
RORY: Well call me if you need anything.
LANE: Thanks, I will.
CUT TO LUKEíS WITH A RUMMAGE SALE SIGN IN THE WINDOW
LUKE: If you want coffee, youíll have to wait.
RORY: Hey Luke, someone put a sign for the rummage sale up in your window
LUKE: You can have decaf right now if youíre in a hurry.
RORY: You should call the cops about this. I mean we all know how you feel
about public displays of town affection.
LUKE: Your mom asked me to put it there ok?
RORY: And you said yes?
LUKE: Sheís not real good with Ďnoí.
RORY: No sheís not.
LUKE: For every second you laugh at me, thatís one second longer youíre
waiting for coffee.
RORY: Sorry, no laughing. [he leaves]
[Lorelai walks in with a black and brown polka dot cowboy hat on]
LORELAI: Margaret Atworthy just dropped off three boxes of city council pot
holders and begged me to take her grandson. People are getting crazy man.
RORY: What are you wearing?
LORELAI: Hey, we have already argued about the sweatshirt.
RORY: Yes but we have not argued about the hat.
LORELAI: What hat?
RORY: The one on your head, Annie Oakley.
LORELAI: Itís great isnít it?
RORY: As nice as it is that youíre single handedly trying to rebuild the
bridge, you have got to stop buying up other peopleís junk.
LORELAI: The money goes to charity. I look cute. Case closed. Oh finally,
the coffee cavalry arrives.
LUKE: What the hell do you think youíre wearing?
LORELAI: A hat.
LUKE: Take that off.
LUKE: Now that is not yours, take it off.
LORELAI: But Iíll have hat hair.
LUKE: Iím talking about the sweatshirt.
LORELAI: Luke calm down.
LUKE: That is not yours.
LORELAI: No, I found it in the bags of stuff for the sale.
LUKE: Oh so you just find something and then you take it is that it?
LORELAI: No, I paid for it.
LUKE: Oh so that makes it alright.
LORELAI: It makes it legal. What is the matter with you?
LUKE: Nothing. Nothing is the matter.
LUKE: Pour your own coffee. [puts coffee pot down on the counter and leaves]
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Living room is stuffed with bags/boxes of stuff to the point where you
canít see furniture]
LORELAI: [sighs] Ok just a question. Did anyone in town keep anything?
SOOKIE: Doesnít look like it.
LORELAI: Iím never being civic-minded again.
SOOKIE: Honey, youíre doing a good thing. [falls] Ow!
SOOKIE: Iím ok.
LORELAI: Wave an arm.
SOOKIE: [Waving her arm] Here.
LORELAI: I gotcha. [takes her hand and starts to pull her up]
SOOKIE: Hold on, something down here likes me.
SOOKIE: Yeah, Iím good. Hold on. Up, please.
RORY: Jeez this stuff is like tribbles.
LORELAI: Oh, thank God - just in time. Grab a bag and move it to the side
of the room and be very careful, this pile just tried to eat Sookie.
RORY: Maybe I should sic it on Paris when she gets here.
LORELAI: Oh my God, thatís right. Youíre studying here today.
RORY: Any minute actually.
LORELAI: Oh this place is such a pit.
RORY: Mom donít worry about it. Theyíll come in, theyíll make a face,
theyíll say something snotty, weíll study, theyíll leave. Iím just looking
forward to this whole day being over, then I can concentrate on the concert.
MISS PATTY: Lorelai, sweetheart would you come outside please? I want to
know where you want me to put these.
LORELAI: Coming Patty!
SOOKIE: Ok, two very large porcelain squirrels.
LORELAI: Set them free.
SOOKIE: Will do.
[Pan to outside. Pattyís standing in front of big drums.]
LORELAI: Wow, huh. These are great. Theyíll really come in handy when we
finally organize that giant marching band weíve been talking about.
MISS PATTY: I danced on these drums at the Copacabana in 1969.
MISS PATTY: Yeah, it was a great act. I wore bananas.
LORELAI: Oh please, tell me you have a picture of that.
MISS PATTY: [chuckles] A lot of memories happened on these drums. But I
guess itís time to move on.
LORELAI: Yeah, sure. Now youíll finally have room for the enormous tuba
youíve hand your eyes on. [Miss Patty looks at her] Just leave - leave
RORY: [on the phone] Yeah, you too. Bye. [hangs up] That was Lane [to
LORELAI: Oh and whatís the verdict?
RORY: She decided to be stupid and tell her mother the truth - that she
wanted to go to a rock concert with us tonight in New York.
LORELAI: Iím so sorry.
RORY: Iím making coffee.
MISS PATTY: Well this looks really familiar. [picking up Lorelaiís
LORELAI: Oh, thatís mine. Er, I saw it first and then I bought it so itís
MISS PATTY: Really? Who brought it in?
LORELAI: I think Luke did and judging by his very hostile reaction he
obviously wasnít done wearing it yet.
MISS PATTY: Oh my, I wonder if -
MISS PATTY: [to Sookie] I bet this was Rachelís.
SOOKIE: Oh my God - Rachelís?
LORELAI: Rachel? Whoís Rachel?
SOOKIE: Rachel was Lukeís very serious girlfriend. It does look like her.
LORELAI: When did Luke have a girlfriend?
MISS PATTY: Oh this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break
that manís heart. It was terrible.
LORELAI: How did I not know about this?
SOOKIE: Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this
house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer.
MISS PATTY: Archeologist.
MISS PATTY: Or a flight attendant.
LORELAI: I canít believe I never even heard about it.
MISS PATTY: At least I think so.
SOOKIE: Well Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it
because he could probably kill you with that coffee pot if he wanted to.
LORELAI: Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart.
MISS PATTY: Well I would keep this hidden if I were you. Well I gotta be
going. Trampoline class at two.
SOOKIE: Bye Patty.
MISS PATTY: Bye.
LORELAI: Bye, thanks for the drums.
SOOKIE: Ok, these all need to be mended.
LORELAI: My room.
SOOKIE: Mm-hmm. Ok.
[Lorelai looks out the window and sees Paris, Madeline and Louise getting
out of a car]
LORELAI: Rory, I think your friends are here. She must be one great
babysitter to earn enough money for that car.
RORY: Letís just get this over with.
LORELAI: Take heart my dear. Suffer today party tonight.
LORELAI: [Opens front door] Hi.
LORELAI: Come one in.
RORY: So did you guys fine it ok?
PARIS: Thereís no sign on this street.
RORY: I know, thatís why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue.
PARIS: I thought you were kidding.
LORELAI: Oh no, we never kid about Monty.
LORELAI: Monty the rooster - Monty.
RORY: Everybody this is my mom.
RORY: This is Louise, Madeline and Paris.
LORELAI: Ah, very good girl-group names. Ok, so, um sorry about the house
of horrors here. Some crazy lady volunteered to lead this charity thing and
weíre trying to get her some help, so make yourselves comfortable. Rory,
just yell when you uys want pizza.
LORELAI: Ok. [goes upstairs]
RORY: So do you guys want to work in here or in the kitchen?
RORY: Ok. [they sit in the livingroom]
PARIS: Ok, so hereís how it should go. Madeline will do the introductions,
Iíll handle the debate, Rory will do the onclusion and Louise will take
RORY: Why do you automatically get to handle the debate?
PARIS: Because Iím the most experienced at it.
MADELINE: Trust me, you want her to handle the debate. She never gives up.
LOUISE: Le pitbull.
LOUISE: So what is all this stuff? [going through some bags]
RORY: Uh, itís for a big town rummage sale.
MADELINE: Like a charity thing?
RORY: Yeah. Thereís this old bridge thatís completely falling apart and the
townís trying to save it.
LOUISE: Oh cool hat.
PARIS: Put that down. Itís used.
LOUISE: Vintage dear.
PARIS: Filthy darling.
MADELINE: Thereís this great store under my therapist office who has the
best vintage clothes. I found an original Pucci top for practically
LOUISE: Oh Pucci is very big right now.
MADELINE: Is this a Pucci? [holding up a shirt]
RORY: No, thatís a patty.
LOUISE: A patty?
RORY: Miss Patty. Sheís a dance teacher here. These are some of her old
LOUISE: Oh here Paris. Tristan might like this [holds up a pink sequence
PARIS: Can we just work please?
LOUISE: Ugh. I would love to have a boyfriend that looked like Tristan.
MADELINE: Your boyfriendís no slouch either.
RORY: No heís not.
LOUISE: Oh yes - 6í2Ē and fiesty. So howís that going? Are you two still
ĎJoanie loves Chachií?
RORY: God, I hope not.
MADELINE: You are still together arenít you?
RORY: Yeah, weíre still together.
LOUISE: How long has it been?
RORY: I donít know.
MADELINE: You do too.
RORY: About a month.
LOUISE: Oh, lifers.
PARIS: We have a debate to organize here and this conversation is quickly
veering towards the subject of french kissing and glitter eye shadow -
trashy or trendy? And I for one have no intention of being humiliated in
front of the whole class because we were forced to study in the middle of a
carnival and you two couldnít keep your eye on the prize! I want to win and
Iím going to win.
LOUISE: So how good of a kisser is Paul Bunyan anyway? [Louise, Madeline
and Rory giggle.]
[Pan to Lorelaiís room]
SOOKIE: Ok, does anyone in town have a peg leg?
SOOKIE: Hem these.
LORELAI: So tell me more about this Rachel?
SOOKIE: Why are you so curious?
LORELAI: Well because apparently everybody in town knows everything about it
and I donít like to be out of the loop.
SOOKIE: Itís old news.
LORELAI: Yes but Iím fascinated. I mean, I go to Lukeís once a day,
sometimes twice - three times if Michel has talked to one of his relatives
and his accent has gotten thicker. I feel I should know the whole story.
What happened? Whereíd she go?
SOOKIE: Well, Rachel liked to move around a lot. She was very adventurous
person. She loved to climb things and fling herself off of cliffs and dive
into these really tiny lakes and ride big wild horses and fly planes.
LORELAI: So she was wonder woman.
SOOKIE: She was to Luke. I thought they were going to get married.
LORELAI: What happened?
SOOKIE: The rumour is that Starts Hollow was too small for her. She wanted
to live somewhere more exciting.
LORELAI: But Luke didnít.
SOOKIE: Mm. You know Luke. He lived here all his life. He wouldnít even
go away for college. I think weíre going to bury him in that diner.
LORELAI: Wow. Itís sad.
SOOKIE: Yeah. Ok, well I am done here. Iím gonna stop by the inn for a
while and then I am gonna go home and Iím gonna change for the show tonight.
LORELAI: We leave at 6.
SOOKIE: I will be here, bye
[Pan to living room]
PARIS: Weíll need the actual quotes so learn them by heart.
MADELINE: What about using note cards.
PARIS: Note cards look sloppy. We will know our information.
MADELINE: But the other teams will use note cards.
PARIS: And the other team will lose.
SOOKIE: Bye girls, Rory, see you tonight!
RORY: Bye Sookie.
LORELAI: Whatís tonight?
RORY: Weíve got tickets to see the Bangles at the Pastorella theatre.
MADELINE: In New York?
LOUISE: Sounds potentially not boring.
RORY: Itís gonna be great actually and the seats are amazing.
MADELINE: Who are you going with?
RORY: My mom and Sookie.
LOUISE: Youíre kidding?
LOUISE: Youíre going to a concert with your mom?
MADELINE: I cannot imagine doing anything like that with my mom.
RORY: Actually we do stuff like this all the time.
LOUISE: Hey, how old is your mom anyways?
LOUISE: So that means she had you when she wasÖ
PARIS: 16. She had her when she was 16. Weíve done the math, can we just
Ďoohí and Ďaahí about this quickly and get back to work?
LOUISE: 16. Iím 16.
MADELINE: So am I.
PARIS: Weíre all 16 ok. Everybody in this room is 16.
RORY: Paris is right. We should work.
PARIS: Thank you.
LOUISE: I canít imaging having a baby at 16.
PARIS: Well then keep your knees shut.
LOUISE: Very nice.
MADELINE: Do you think your mom is sorry she got pregnant so young?
PARIS: Of course she is.
RORY: Why thank you.
PARIS: I didnít meant that. I just meant thatÖ
RORY: I mean, I donít think she would recommend it but I think sheís happy
with how things turned out.
LORELAI: I am?
RORY: Yes you are.
LORELAI: Ok, just checking. Hey, Iím starving, is it pizza time yet?
RORY: Are you guys hungry?
MADELINE: I am.
PARIS: I canít eat dairy.
LORELAI: Ok, one with cheese, one without. Cokes?
RORY: Yes please.
MADELINE: Me too.
PARIS: Weíre never going to finish.
LOUISE: I find your mother completely fascinating.
RORY: Funny - so does she.
LOUISE: Itís almost more like having a big sister.
MADELINE: And you like her donít you?
RORY: Sheís my best friend.
LOUISE: Truly, completely fascinating.
LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Rory come in here a sec!
RORY: Iíll be right back.
[Pan to kitchen]
LORELAI: Hey, howís it going in there?
RORY: Truly, completely fascinating.
RORY: Well weíve basically gotten no work down at all. Paris is having a
metldown, which by the way is always fun.
LORELAI: Sounds it.
RORY: And, I donít know, weíve just been talking.
LORELAI: Well, I think youíre actually making some friends here.
RORY: Letís not get ahead of ourselves. Theyíve basically just moved off
the plan to dump the pigís blood on me at the prom, thatís all.
LORELAI: Talking, chatting, no work being done - thereís friend potential
RORY: Maybe - with Louise and Madeline at least.
LORELAI: Two out or three formerly psychotic enemies - not bad. There
[handing Rory a plate]- pop-tart appetizers to tide you over till the pizza
RORY: Thanks [turns to leave]
LORELAI: Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.
RORY: Those are never comforting words coming from you.
LORELAI: Just consider this ok?
LORELAI: Now, we have four tickets to the show tonight.
RORY: Yes we do.
LORELAI: What if I give them to you? You take them.
RORY: What are you talking about?
LORELAI: Well, it just seems like you guys have kind of a bonding thing
going on in there, it might be fun.
RORY: But what about you?
LORELAI: No, no you and I have already bonded. In fact, if we bond any
further, we will be permanently fused together.
RORY: Youíve been talking about this concert since you heard about it.
LORELAI: I can still go.
LORELAI: Sookie and I can buy cheap seats when we get there.
RORY: These tickets are 9th row aisle - dream seats.
LORELAI: Look, you donít have to do this, but I just think you have three
years of Chilton ahead of you and it might be nice to have some friendly
type people to talk to there. And I donít know, you guys seem to be getting
along, it might be good. And I totally donít mind, I just want to see the
show, I donít care from what seat.
RORY: Are you sure?
LORELAI: Completely sure.
RORY: Because I -
LORELAI: Oh ladies! [taking plate and going into the living room] Hey what
are you guys doing tonight?
LORELAI: Well we have these really great tickets to see the Bangles at the
Pastorella theater and Rory thought you might like to come along.
MADELINE: Are you serious?
LOUISE: No way.
RORY: Yeah - I mean if you guys want to.
MADELINE: I would love to go.
LOUISE: Count me in.
RORY: Paris, what about you?
PARIS: I canít.
LOUISE: Yes you can.
PARIS: No, I canít.
LOUISE: Because youíre busy doing what?
PARIS: I have homework.
MADELINE: Sheíll be there.
CUT TO NY
[In the theater. Sookie squeals]
RORY: He made it [Louise and Madeline look at bracelet Dean made for her]
MADELINE: Oh heís handy. How great.
LOUISE: And you wear it all the time right?
LORELAI: Just when sheís breathing.
SOOKIE: Itís a love thing.
RORY: Thanks for the contributions.
LORELAI: Ok here [offers tickets but pulls them back] Ah! With these
tickets you are about to enter sacred space, you will be treading on
hallowed ground, you will be walking like and Egyptian.
LORELAI: Takeíem. Oh youíre going to have a great time. The Bangles are
the best! They were my favorite band in high school. I almost named you
Susanna. The day I found out you had no musical talent at all was the
saddest day of my life.
RORY: Iím sorry.
LORELAI: Well you say that now. Here, ok, these are probably located - Hi!
LORELAI: Can you tell me where these seats are?
USHER: Uh, those are right in here.
LORELAI: Oh good, girlsÖok, hereís the deal. Take the tickets, go to your
seats, have the night of a lifetime - Bangle it up. The second the concert
is over, meet us outside in front of the theater got it?
LORELAI: Good! Now go!
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Youíre welcome. [to Sookie] Ok, letís go make our noses bleed.
SOOKIE: After you.
PARIS: Which aisle is it?
LOUISE: Weíre almost there.
MADELINE: I have never sat this close to a stage before. In fact, Iíve
never even really been to a concert before so I could be sitting at the back
and say the same thing.
LOUISE: In here.
MADELINE: Oh good.
RORY: Wow, these are amazing seats.
LOUISE: [checking out the cute guys in the row behind them] Yes they are.
RORY: [to Paris] What are they looking at?
PARIS: One guess. [Rory looks behind them at the guys]
GUY: Check it out, weíve got fans [seeing Rory]
PARIS: Was I right? [as Rory turns back]
RORY: You were right.
PARIS: And before itís dark, theyíll have every picnic basket thatís in
Jelly Stone park.
[Pan to Sookie and Lorelai climbing stairs]
SOOKIE: Did you ever see Everest?
SOOKIE: Itís a good movie.
LORELAI: We must be getting close, weíre running out of rows.
SOOKIE: And 1,000. Ok, weíre here.
LORELAI: Great. Ok, this is fine [sitting]
SOOKIE: Not bad at all. [Lorelai starts to laugh] What? What? What is so
LORELAI: [laughing] These are the worst seats in the entire world!
SOOKIE: They are, arenít they?
LORELAI: Oh my God, itís so funny. [to guy next to her] Donít you think
this is funny?
GUY: You know, I donít.
LORELAI: Iím sorry, Iím sorry.
SOOKIE: Ooh, theyíre starting. Do you have a lighter?
LORELAI: [laughing] You mean a flame thrower? [to guy] Do you get it? A
flame thrower because itís so far.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen - The Bangles!!!
[Bangles play. Pan to later during the concert, Rory and Paris are watching
the concert and Louise and Madeline are flirting with the guys in the row
behind them. Pan to Lorelai and Sookie]
LORELAI: Hey, was Rachel pretty?
LORELAI: Iím just curious, was she pretty?
SOOKIE: She was pretty.
LORELAI: Like, what kind of pretty?
SOOKIE: What do you mean Ďwhat kind of prettyí?
LORELAI: I mean, like was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a
Michelle Pfiffer-y pretty or -
SOOKIE: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
LORELAI: Thatís an intense kind of pretty.
SOOKIE: Youíre not kidding.
LORELAI: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
SOOKIE: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?
LORELAI: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because youíre delirious.
SOOKIE: And youíre jealous.
SOOKIE: Youíre jealous of Rachel.
LORELAI: Youíre accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man Iím
not even interested in five years ago?
LORELAI: And you donít think thatís crazy?
SOOKIE: Oh I do think thatís crazy?
LORELAI: Right, Iím not jealous.
SOOKIE: Yeah you are.
[Lorelai scoffs. Pan to girls]
LOUISE: Oh my God! He is so gorgeous.
RORY: I guess.
LOUISE: Listen, thereís a massive party going on right around the corner.
LOUISE: So they invited us.
LOUISE: Jess and Sean, weíve been talking to them this whole time, theyíre
MADELINE: Are we going?
RORY: Going where?
MADELINE: To the party?
RORY: Thereís a concert going on.
LOUISE: The band wonít miss us.
RORY: We canít just leave Louise.
LOUISE: Itís America Rory.
RORY: We have to meet my mom after the show.
LOUISE: Oh come on.
RORY: What do you mean ĎOh come oní. We have to meet my mother after the
concert. The band may not miss us but Lorelai sure will.
MADELINE: These guys are so cute.
RORY: Oh thatís great but weíre not going anywhere.
LOUISE: What are you afraid?
RORY: Of going out into a strange city with two guys I donít know? Yeah.
MADELINE: Rory please!
LOUISE: Well weíre going.
RORY: No youíre not.
LOUISE: Paris, join please?
PARIS: No, thanks.
LOUISE: Fine, come on Madeline.
RORY: And just what am I supposed to tell my mother?
LOUISE: That youíre a very good little girl. [gets up and leaves]
MADELINE: The partyís in a building on the corner of Waverly and First. Try
to get away. [leaves]
MADELINE: Weíll be back by the time the concertís over.
PARIS: You know, I really like this band.
[Pan to later. Rory and Paris waiting]
RORY: I couldnít find mom or Sookie anywhere.
PARIS: So what do we do now?
RORY: I guess we just wait here for them to find us.
RORY: I canít believe Louise and Madeline would just leave like that.
PARIS: Theyíve done it before.
PARIS: Yeah, well.
RORY: Can I ask you a question?
RORY: What could you possibly see in Tristan?
PARIS: You wouldnít understand.
RORY: Is it just that heís cute?
RORY: Cause there are a lot of cute guys in the world.
PARIS: Not like Tristan.
RORY: Heís just such a jerk.
PARIS: Heís not always a jerk.
RORY: Ok. When is not a jerk?
PARIS: Iíve known Tristan a really long time ok? Weíve been in the same
class since kindergarten.
PARIS: YesÖand he has things in his life that are hard. His parents - not
so great. We have that in common.
PARIS: He kissed me once.
RORY: He did?
PARIS: In the 6th grade - on a dare.
RORY: How romantic.
PARIS: You just donít know him like I do ok?
RORY: Ok, I believe you. I just - I think maybe you could do better.
PARIS: I know heís flirting with me to get to you, but at least heís
flirting with me.
RORY: There you are.
LORELAI: Think fast [throws them a t-shirt each] T-shirts for all the girls
because Iím the good witch of the - hey, arenít you missing a couple of
RORY: They left.
LORELAI: Excuse me?
RORY: Madeline and Louise met these guys and they -
LORELAI: What guys?
RORY: I donít know, they were sitting behind us and they were having a
SOOKIE: Whatís going on?
LORELAI: They left.
LORELAI: Letís go, come on, move.
CUT TO APARTMENT BUILDING
LORELAI: I leave the house with four girls, Iím coming home with four girls.
[knocks on a door] Hi, Iím looking for a couple of college boys, who might
live here or have friends who live here.
WOMAN: I donít talk to anyone. People annoy me. [closes door]
LORELAI: [coming up to Sookie listening at a door] What?
SOOKIE: She found him with the blonde again.
PARIS: Sheís gonna knock on every door in the entire building isnít she?
LORELAI: [knocks] Hello? Is anyone home?
SOOKIE: [knocks] Hello? [dog barks] Aah! Letís go follow your mother.
PARIS: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like
RORY: Paris, you know she would.
PARIS: Yeah, or at least sheíd send somebody.
[Lorelai knocks on another door. Thereís music playing]
LORELAI: Letís go. [knocks. Guy answers]
RORY: Mom, thatís one of the guys.
LORELAI: Thanks. Hi, could you move please? [enters]
LORELAI: Hey, did you miss me?
LORELAI: Ms. Gilmore. Put the cups down, letís move.
GUY: Is there a problem?
LORELAI: Yeah, see those two idiots over there? Theyíre 16 - underage and I
bet youíre not. I also bet those big fancy party cups arenít holding
lemonade. You really want to end any further conversations with me so step
aside Skippy. Move your asses outside - now! [they leave apart.] Hey. I am
not even going to begin to tell you how completely insane it is to take off
with anyone you donít know, or drink things that you donít know whatís in
them, or act like you have a clue when you donít, but so help me God if you
ever pull a stunt like this again, it will not be around my kid! Do you
LORELAI: Good, now letís go. I canít wait to meet your parents. We have
some catching up to do. I think weíll just talk and talk and talk all night
PARIS: You know what? I think this is the best night Iíve ever had.
CUT TO RUMMAGE SALE
LANE: I cannot believe I missed it.
RORY: The concert was amazing.
LANE: Forget about the concert. I wanted to see Lorelai pull those idiots
out of that guyís apartment.
RORY: It definitely was a Kodak moment.
LORELAI: Hey, you didnít wake me up.
RORY: I set the clock.
LORELAI: Yes, but see the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the
wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep, you however never stop
yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the wake up process.
LANE: Iím gonna get a soda, anybody want anything?
LORELAI: Yes, the night of my 14th birthday back so I can right the
green-hot-pant-roller-disco outfit wrong.
LANE: Coming right up.
LORELAI: Bye. So, talked to anybody today?
RORY: You mean Madeline or Louise or Paris?
RORY: Though I bet school tomorrow will be really interesting.
LORELAI: Oh yes - stories of Roryís Bangleís - obsessed mother ripping open
apartment doors, scaring the pointy haired boys.
RORY: Totally uncool, man.
LORELAI: I had to do it Rory, they couldíve gotten hurt.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: God, I thought inviting those girls out would make things easier
for you at school.
RORY: Yeah, well Iíve always thought Ďeasyí is completely overrated.
LORELAI: Oh, thatís my twisted girl.
RORY: Plus Paris decided to let me split the debate time with her.
LORELAI: Wow! [pause] Wait, why am I wowing?
RORY: Because splitting debate time with Paris is like doing that whole
Ďspitting in your palm and shaking handsí friendship oath thing.
LORELAI: But way less gross?
LORELAI: Oh, good, Iím glad then. Oh, uh, Iíll be right back.
LORELAI: [coming up to Luke] Hey.
LUKE: Oh, hey.
LORELAI: Find anything good?
LUKE: Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a
nickel, so basically I scored.
LORELAI: Oh good.
LUKE: Hey, look, about that thing that happened the other day -
LORELAI: Oh forget it.
LUKE: I was a jerk, I didnít mean it.
LORELAI: I know - really
LUKE: Yeah well, I am sorry.
LORELAI: I wanted to give this back to you [offering Rachelís sweatshirt]
LUKE: Oh no, you bought it.
LORELAI: I know but itís yours and I didnít know.
LUKE: You didnít know?
LORELAI: About the former owner.
LORELAI: If I had, I wouldnít have flaunted it in front of you like that.
LUKE: Hey, itís not a big deal, I was having a bad day, thatís it. Now I
got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world.
LORELAI: Ok good. So here. It obviously means something to you.
LUKE: But you have to let things go eventually right?
LORELAI: Yeah, but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. I
mean you wouldnít want to forget everything would you?
LUKE: No there was some stuff that I definitely would not want to forget.
LORELAI: Well here, so you donít forget.
LUKE: Thanks, can I pay you for it?
LORELAI: In coffee, absolutely.
LUKE: Alright. Iím not pining you know -
LORELAI: I know
LUKE: Just remembering.
LORELAI: Got it.
LUKE: Remembering is not pining.
LORELAI: Youíre absolutely right.
LUKE: Itís just like a memento, like restaurant matches.
LORELAI: I can see the resemblance.
LUKE: Ok, well good.
LORELAI: Bye Luke.
Concert Interruptus Summary ...