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Episode: The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles ...

Original Airdate: October 7, 2003

At Yale, Lorelai comes into Rory's dorm carrying a rug and a box. The rug matches Rory's bed, and a matching bean bag chair is coming in few weeks. Rory tells Lorelai that it's "shopping week" at Yale. Students try out any classes they want before choosing their classes for the semester. Rory has somehow fitted over 50 classes into her schedule. Lorelai teases her that she'll be an hour early to all of them, just like she's been every other first day of school. Lorelai tells Rory that if she weren't so pretty, she would have been beaten up every day of her life. As they leave the room, Lorelai sniffs the air and declares that Emily has been there. Rory doesn't believe her, but Lorelai is adament. The room smells like guilt and Chanel 5.

Rory gets to her first class really early and stakes out a seat. She tries to read but starts to feel foolish about her early arrival. She starts to leave when another student, a guy, enters. He sits down at the opposite end of the table. Rory’s about to say “hi” when the T.A. enters and starts putting papers around on the tables. He finishes and leaves, shaking his head as he goes. “Freshmen” he mutters under his breath. Rory and the guy continue to sit in silence.

At Sookie's house, Lorelai and Sookie are going through papers for the Inn, signing and dating. They reminisce over the days when they received paychecks. Jackson is next to them, climbing a step ladder. He asks Sookie for a screwdriver. Jackson is still wearing his button. Lorelai tells Sookie they need to meet with the guy from the liability insurance before they start construction with the DragonFly. The renovation is going to cost $20,000 more than they expected. Lorelai and Sookie are interrupted by Jackson screaming out at them. He's hooking up the entire house to a sound system connected to the baby monitor. Lorelai says this is the "cutest creepy thing he's done yet". Lorelai yells that they can hear him, but Sookie says they are to use the walkie-talkie. Sookie talks into the walkie-talkie, but Jackson can't hear her. She screams into the walkie-talkie a few more times before getting up and going to the nursery to scream that she can hear him. Lorelai mumbles that this system will work great. Sookie tells Jackson the walkie-talkie isn't working. Jackson takes it away and goes back to the nursery.

Sookie comes back to Lorelai and asks if she wants to start a catering business with her. Since there is no money coming in and it'll be a while until they get the DragonFly up and running, they can cater until the baby comes. Lorelai says she's never planned a party before, but Sookie reminds her that she's done it many times at the Inn. Lorelai points out that she had a staff and resources. Sookie points out that it will be fun to work together, so Lorelai says she'll think about it. Lorelai sees the look on Sookie's face and asks how long she has to think about it. "About a week", Sookie says. Helen Thompson's son, Aaron, is having a birthday party coming up which Sookie already agreed to do the catering for. The party is this Thursday, on his actual birthday. Jackson asks if they can hear him now. Sookie gets up and goes to him to tell him they can hear him. He screams to use to the walkie-talkie.

Rory comes into her building balancing some books and Coffee in her arms. Rory drops her books just as she enters her room. She looks up and stares around the room in amazement. It's been completely redecorated. She asks Tanna where all this furniture came from. Tanna says she doesn't know and the furniture must have been there when she got back. Rory's cell phone rings. It's her grandmother asking if she likes the new furniture. Emily says she's a Yalie now and needs to live like one. She snuck into the room yesterday to see if everything would fit then buttered up Tess to let the movers in. Emily tells Rory about the new entertainment center: a plasma TV, VCR, DVD, 5 disk CD player, turntable, and 5.1 SurroundSound. Rory isn't so sure about all this. She tells Emily that the other roommates may be uncomfortable with this setup and all this stuff makes it more like Rory's room, not a shared room. Emily tells Rory never to underestimate the value of the upper hand: status matters. She then tells Rory that she and Richard are very proud of her and they'll see her on Friday. Rory hangs up and tells Tanna that her grandmother broke into their room and refurnished it. "Did she put in the fireplace in, too?" Tanna asks. Rory explains that the fireplace has always been there.

Lorelai comes home with some take out food. She sits down on the couch with the phone. Into the phone she says that they burnt her fries, forgot to give her an extra side of barbecue sauce, the jeep is making a crunchy noise again, and she has to spend the evening making elf ears. Rory tells Lorelai that Emily broke into the dorm and redid the common room in 25,000 dollars worth o furniture and stereo equipment. "You win," says Lorelai. She asks what the other roommates thought about the furniture. Rory tells her that Tanna still doesn't know she's at Yale, Paris saw it but said nothing, and Janet hasn't seen it yet because she's out jogging. Rory believes this whole thing is a total invasion of privacy and wonders if some of the old furniture may have belonged to someone and they may have wanted it back. Janet comes back from jogging and waves to Rory. Lorelai tells Rory that this is what she's getting into after borrowing that money. Lorelai tells Rory that she could tell Emily that while she is grateful for all the lovely furniture, this is a dorm room and she has her roommates to think about and worries that some of the stuff may get stolen. Rory says this is good. Then Lorelai comes back by saying that Emily will say that she and Richard are paying for Yale and that Rory is being ungrateful and small minded and will resent it. Rory says she'll keep the furniture. Lorelai tell her that if she feels that strongly about it then say something, but be prepared. Janet comes in with an exercise ball and starts doing push-ups in front of Rory.

Emily is picking out fabric for one of the rooms in her house. Emily asks Richard what he thinks of one of the fabrics. He says it looks fine, getting a sarcastic remark from Emily about his lack of enthusiasm. He says she has terrific tastes and anything she chooses will look fine. Emily asks if he needs some ice for his drink and asks if he's tired. Richard has had a long day, but says all he needs is a drink and a nice meal and he'll be as good as new. Emily mentions that Richard got a call from Jason Stiles earlier today. Richard asks what "Digger" Stiles wanted; he has nothing to say to this man who works for the company that unceremoniously phased him out. Emily says that Jason may have something interesting to tell Richard. Richard is skeptical and says that Jason is probably being sent to do his father's dirty work. Emily mentions to Richard that he has always like Digger. Yes, he did like Digger, when Digger was Richard's assistant, not his father's heir apparent. Emily tells Richard that he doesn't have to return Digger's call, but she invited him over for dinner the next night because he was so insistent on talking to Richard. If Richard feels so strongly against this man, he can call and uninvite Digger. Richard can't believe Emily did all this, though he has agreed that Digger can come over.

Back at Yale, Paris runs into the common room telling Rory that the first party of the year is going to be on their floor. Rory is trying to get comfortable on her new couch as Paris rambles on about how important this party is going to be. She wants them to leave the door open to invite the party goers into their room, making them one of the hosts. Paris says this party will get the others to know who they are and lead to invitations to other parties for the rest of the year. Rory isn't sure about leaving the door to a bunch of strangers and that she may want to study that night. Paris explains that leaving the door open means you are responsible for the fun and that people owe you. Rory says she doesn't want people to owe her. Paris storms out of the room.

In Lorelai's kitchen, Lorelai and Sookie are going through the details of the party. Lorelai asks about the cake and the menu with festive kids food. Sookie says she has it under control. Lane comes in with a few more pieces for the costume shop that has now taken over the kitchen. Lane is a bit crabby today. She wore a bracelet to school today, which prompted the school to call her parents. She's had to attend a special service at the chapel and must go to a soul searching seminar the next week.

The phone rings. It's Paris. Paris starts off by saying that Rory isn't adjusting to college well and she's is concerned about her. She goes on by saying these college experiences are important for Rory's future and can understand why Lorelai would want to stunt Rory emotionally so Rory comes back home and takes care of her in her old age. Lorelai asks Paris if something happened between her and Rory. Paris tells Lorelai that Rory won't open the door to the party. Rory walks in at this moment and grabs the phone from Paris. She tells Lorelai that she doesn't want a bunch of strangers walking around her room and Paris is having a meltdown. Lorelai tells Rory that it isn't such a bad idea to get to know the people in her building. Rory asks why she should go along with Paris and open the door to the world. Lorelai talks about having fun and not missing experiences. Rory decides to open the door.

At Yale, Tanna comes out wearing Rory's old Chilton uniform. Rory told her she could borrow something and for some reason, Tanna thinks a school uniform is a cool thing to wear to a party. Rory tells Tanna she has a tie that goes with it. Tanna leaves to find the tie. Paris runs in mentioning that she has scouted the other open doors and no one has a clear theme for their room. She asks Rory what their theme should be. Rory doesn't want a theme. Rory has said no to the room being a make-out room, so Paris suggests their room can be a conversation room. Rory still doesn't want a theme. Paris tells Rory that no one knows her and that she can start out new, showing everyone the 'fun Paris'. Rory caves in and says Paris can have one candle for the room.

Lorelai is at the house where the party is taking place. Costumes, cardboard cutouts, and balloons are all around. Lorelai is sitting next to a boy dressed like Frodo, trying to convince him to give her the ring. He refuses, even after she does an impersonation of Gollum. Helen, the mom of the boy whose birthday it is, arrives with two kids who have just shown up. Lorelai helps them with their costumes. The kids start to fight about Lorelai’s name (she told some of them that she’s Julie, their “cruise director”), and Lorelai tells them to go play lovingly, because “Lord of the Rings” is all about love. “Nuh uh, it’s about the destruction of all mankind,” says the birthday boy. Helen walks up to Lorelai and asks her if she brought swords, because some of the kids are asking for them. “No, I didn’t,” says Lorelai. Helen is grateful.

A young girl comes up to Lorelai and tells her that Riley told her that only boy Hobbits can go up to Mount Doom and asks if this is true. Lorelai says that it is true in the movie, but only because the girl Hobbits are off doing more dangerous adventures. Sookie arrives and asks Lorelai if Raleigh and Cheech are here yet. Lorelai tells her they've been in the kitchen for about an hour. Sookie asks if there are enough costumes for the party. Lorelai says the screen is up, the table is set and four kids are crying, so they are right on schedule. Sookie leaves to go to the kitchen. The birthday boy's dad comes with the swords for the kids. The kids swarm around him while Helen and Lorelai look at each other nervously.

Jason arrives at Emily and Richard's house. Emily greets him at the door. They compliment each other and Emily asks about his mother. She is doing fine. Emily knocks on door to Richard's study. Jason appreciates Richard taking the time to see him. Emily tells Jason to say goodbye to her before leaving and mouths to Richard to be nice. Jason asks how Richard has been and if he can sit down. Richard is tense. Digger compliments Richard on his job and says he's there for a proposition. Jason wants to be Richard's business partner. Move a desk into Richard's office, get a copy of the key, snag some fancy stationary to write on. Also bring all his current clients and buy his way in. Richard is not buying any of this. He accuses Jason of thinking that Richard is a joke. Jason assures Richard that this isn't a joke and that Richard is the best his father had. Richard asks Jason why he wants to leave his father's company and join forces with Richard, since Jason is to take over his father's company. Jason says he has no plans on taking over his father's company, but wants to do something on his own, work somewhere where everyone hasn't known him since he was a kid, go through the whole day without being called "Digger" and, most importantly, he really, really wants to piss off his dad. Richard asks if he hates his father that much. Jason doesn't hate his dad, just doesn't want to be him. Richard invites Jason for a drink. Richard tells Emily that Jason is joining them for a drink. Jason's pager goes off and he asks to use the phone in Richard's study. Richard and Emily walk into the living room. He tells her that Jason wants to become business partners and that he is thinking about it. Emily likes the idea of Richard not working too hard. The two agree that Jason is a very nice boy.

Sookie is preparing the table and chafing dish for the food. Lorelai asks where the kid's table is. Sookie covered the Lord of the Rings table cloth and thought the Lord of the Rings plates and cups were just for decoration, not actually for using. Lorelai tells Sookie that they can't have a chafing dish, because the kids could burn themselves on the candle. One of the chefs bring out the brie, which is for the parents.

Paris is walking around the party introducing herself and inviting the party goers into her room. Paris goes back into her room, almost tripping on guys having some kind of push-ups contest. She tells Rory that they have the best room. Paris decides to go back out there and mingle. Rory, looking bored, goes into her room to read. She then stops reading and gets up and leaves the room. Rory wanders out into the hallway. She runs into Louise and Madeline. Louise and Madeline just happen to be stopping by for the party. Madeline doesn't go to Mills anymore and has been hanging out with Louise at Tulane. Madeline and Louise went online to find out where all the first week parties are and are making the rounds. They are headed to Harvard next, where Louise's boyfriend attends. Rory tells them that Paris is around somewhere. Madeline hopes Paris is by some guy down the hall that she just spotted because that's where she is headed. Louise tells Rory that they'll be back.

Madeline and Louise come to the party. They’re on the prowl for boys as usual. After they go off in search of some, Rory looks around and sees the guy that was in her class earlier standing by the wall. She’s about to go over when two blond girls, Mickey and Kick, appear in front of her. They ask if she’s Rory Gilmore and start trying to give her a nickname. Rory is a little confused. They explained that their mother is a friend of Emily via the DAR. When Emily found out that they were going to Yale, she told them to look Rory up and make sure that she fell in with the “right crowd”. Rory tries to squirm out of the situation by saying that she needs to go find her roommate. They follow her back to her dorm room. They sit on either side of her on the couch that Emily bought, talking about the woman’s great taste and how it should be applied to their mother. Rory looks at them and realizes that she can’t go anywhere. She settles back while they jabber to each other over her.

Paris is standing in the middle of a highly charged, extremely opinionated beer-and-first-year-of-college infused discussion. She looks bored and a little annoyed. She walks over to the sofa where Mickey and Kick are still talking around Rory. Paris taps Rory on the shoulder and tells her that she’s not having fun. Rory tells her that the party’s not over yet. Paris asks about Mickey and Kick. Rory explains that their mother is friends with her Grandmother. Paris is put-out because it seems that everyone has a group except her. Janet’s a runner so she’ll go with the jocks, Tanna’s a “freak” so she’ll be in the John Nash group, but Paris is stuck listening to bad talk radio. Rory offers to kick everyone out so they can go to bed. Paris takes a deep breath and says that she’ll just have to try a little harder. It’s going to be different this year. A drunk guy stumbles over to Paris and asks her to pierce his ear. Paris looks at him for a second and then yells at everyone to take their gross beer and inane conversation and get out. She pulls Mickey and Kick from the couch. Rory feigns apology and watches them go happily. She relaxes happily on the couch.

At the party house, the kids are watching “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”, totally entranced. Helen says that the food should be ready right when the movie’s over. Lorelai agrees and goes into the kitchen. Sookie is making a ton of crazy, fancy foods, such as quail eggs, blanched vegetables with lemon garlic aoli, etc. Lorelai is getting concerned and asks where the kids’ table is. Sookie says that there’s no kids’ table, she’s “mixing and matching”. Now Lorelai is really concerned and asks where the kids’ food is. Sookie tells her to relax, she hasn’t gotten it out yet. Then one of the helpers comes out with a platter of gravlox. A little girl comes into the kitchen, complaining of hunger. Sookie offers her gravlox. The little girl doesn’t know what gravlox is. Lorelai asks Sookie where the rest of the food is. Sookie says that it’s in the kitchen. The little girl takes a carrot off of the platter and licks it, then puts it back on the platter, saying that it tastes “like diapers”. Sookie is horrified and starts getting upset. Lorelai calms the situation and sends the little girl out of the situation, then heads to the kitchen.

Lorelai asks where the food that doesn't taste like diapers is. Sookie says she isn't stupid and pulls the macoroni and cheese out of the oven. It's green. It's made with jalapeno-chipotle cream sauce. Lorelai says the kids won't eat that because it's green. Lorelai asks where the rest of the kids food is. Sookie says the macaroni and cheese is it. Lorelai then spots the cake. It's a rum raisin, tropical fruit ganache chocolate cake. Lorelai grabs some money and tells one of the helpers to go over to Doose's and Weston's Bakery and grab some kids food and cupcakes. Sookie is appalled by the thought of serving cupcakes and having the kids decorate them. Sookie is upset that Lorelai is taking over now. She claims the cake is incredible. Lorelai tells her it's not incredible to an eight year old. She knows this because she had an eight year old who knew other eight year olds and her own tastes aren't that different from an eight year old. Sookie tells Lorelai that she can't take over and great chefs don't let kids decorate cupcakes. A little girl walks into the kitchen, asking for a juice box. Sookie yells at her, and the girl’s face scrunches up, turning red, mouth opening. She’s getting ready to cry. Sookie doesn’t know what the heck’s going on. “Is she sick? Why’s the mouth open?” Lorelai rushes to the fridge and gets a juice box and hands it to the girl, who immediately calms down.

Sookie is freaked about what just happened with the little girl and claims that she can't do this. Sookie isn't talking about the party, but the pregnancy. Sookie tells Lorelai that kids aren't duvet covers, she can't take it back if they don't like her. Lorelai says that kids are more like golden retrievers who like whoever they go home with. Sookie says she doesn't know how to care or feed kids.

Lorelai and Sookie sit at the table. Sookie is freaking that she can't do this parenting thing. That she has never cared for anyone else's kid and can't see herself being a good parent. Lorelai tells Sookie that she'll be a great parent and her son is lucky to have her as a mom. Sookie smiles and says she'll be OK. They get up and Sookie goes back out into the living room. She comes back into the kitchen and tells Lorelai that someone has thrown up on the table. Sookie decides to stay in the kitchen while Lorelai goes out to take care of it.

At Yale, the party is over and it's pretty late. Rory gets up and walks out into the main hallway. She sees a naked guy sleeping on the floor. It's the same boy that was in her class earlier. She wakes him up with the tie on her robe. They say hi to each other. The boy realizes he's on the floor with no clothes on and that Rory's a girl. Meaning that he's on the wrong floor. He asks if Rory knows how long he's been on the floor and how many people have walked by, seeing him this way. Rory doesn't know. The boy is afraid that he'll be thought of as the "Naked Guy" for the rest of the year. The boy starts to get up and Rory quickly hands over her robe and turns around. He asks if Rory was in the Japanese fiction class earlier. Rory says yes and turns back around. The boy's name is Marty. Rory introduces herself too. Since Marty is drunk, he says he won't remember that in the morning. Marty says he first needs to find his pants, which have his keys in them, and then his room. He says he thought this would never happen and staggers off in Rory's robe.

It's Friday night and Rory is standing next to her car drinking coffee. Lorelai drives up and steps out of her jeep. Rory tells Lorelai that she is ready to tell Emily to butt out of her life. Lorelai sniffs Rory's coffee to make sure there isn't any alcohol in it. Rory puts her coffee back into her car and says she is ready for this. Lorelai tells her to wait for the right moment. Rory says the moment is here.

Emily invites Rory and Lorelai into the house. Emily is talking about her long day and how she's misplaced everything from her grocery list to her ticket for her shoe repair. Lorelai whispers to wait for the right moment. Rory tells Emily that she needs to talk to her. Emily turns around and asks Rory what she needs. Rory freezes and can't find the right words. Richard comes in and announces that he is going into business with Jason Stiles. "Who?" asks Lorelai. Richard reminds Lorelai that she knows him, it's Digger. "Oh, Digger." Lorelai groans. Lorelai and Rory sit down on the couch while Emily and Richard stand by the drinks. Lorelai says she didn't know that Richard was looking for a business partner. Richard explains that Jason wanted to work on his own and with the best and screw over his father. Emily isn't too thrilled about this revelation. Richard is thrilled that he benefits from Jason hating his father. Emily is livid. She says this boy is obviously troubled; Jason is 37 years old and can only think about getting back at his father, who doesn't deserve to be paid back like this after he is the one who has raised, clothed and fed Jason. Richard doesn't understand why Emily is upset. Emily says she has never like Jason and leaves the room. Richard follows her.

Lorelai turns to Rory and starts clucking like a chicken. Rory says it wasn't the right moment. Lorelai clucks some more. Rory says that grandpa came in and now Emily is angry, so it may seem like she chickened out but she's just waiting for the right moment now. Lorelai continues to cluck.

The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles Transcript ...

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