Episode: I Solemnly Swear ...

Original Airdate: January 21, 2003

Lorelai and Rory arrive at the elder Gilmores' residence for Friday night dinner; the maid lets them in and tells them that Emily is in the living room. Emily is having quite a heated conversation on the phone and doesn't notice Lorelai and Rory enter the room. After demanding that someone immediately fax her a document and shouting at them for their unacceptable behavior, Emily hangs up the phone and sees Lorelai and Rory there. Of course, Lorelai and Rory know that something is wrong, but when asked about it, Emily assures them that everything is fine. Lorelai keeps at it though until Emily gives in and admits that she's upset because her lawyer called. One of their many former maids is suing for wrongful termination of employment. Lorelai is surprised to find out that it's the first time that a maid is suing Emily and Richard, seeing as how they go through maids like Lorelai goes through cups of coffee. The ex-maid suing them is Gerta from Hamburg (Germany), to whom Lorelai used to make jokes about Hamburg and hamburgers. She was also "the clomper", Emily adds, because she made a lot of noise when she walked. This is the reason she was fired, even though she may have performed her job well. Lorelai can't believe that Gerta was fired for walking loudly and uses this to bring up how Emily always finds something wrong with all of the maids. Emily takes that as an insult and defends herself by giving a little speech about how one should get what one pays for. Since she pays a lot for her maids, she expects and deserves to be content with their services. The current maid interrupts them to say that dinner's ready. As the maid walks away, Emily asks Lorelai if she hears anything. She doesn't; this maid walks quietly.

At the Independence Inn, Lorelai and Michel watch as Sookie and Jackson argue. Sookie ordered Brussels sprouts but Jackson delivered pea tendrils instead because the Brussels sprouts weren't good enough. Jackson makes the mistake of saying that he was trying to save her dinner, and Sookie threatens to get another produce guy. Finally Sookie tells Jackson that she loves him. They hug and Jackson leaves with the pea tendrils.

Lorelai reminds Michel that he'll be covering for her the next night because she and Sookie will be taking a class about how to run an inn at the Learning Center. Michel is acting snobby, as usual, because he went to a very prestigious hotel school called the Httelihre de Genhve. Sookie mentions that Jackson has taken courses on buying real estate, how to write a diary, and beekeeping at the Learning Center and loved it. It turned out, though, that he's allergic to bees. Michel really wants to see pictures of Jackson from the bee stings and Sookie promises to bring them.

At Chilton, a few minutes before student council starts, Paris asks Rory for her opinion as to which proposed speakers for commencement are jokes. Some people had suggested Princess Diana's butler (a joke) as well as Dr. Phil (serious) in the suggestion box. Then Rory brings up Francie's sneaky ploy to use all of the class money for a dream prom instead of for the senior class gift (a telescope). Paris says she already took care of it; she booked the site for half the asking price, leaving them money for a telescope. She goes on to say that it wouldn't have happened if Mr. Hunter (the faculty advisor) hadn't agreed, and that the only reason he agreed to it is because he's jealous of Paris.

The others join the student council meeting and Paris is quick to point out her disgust at not being invited to the impromptu meeting last week when Francie held her "prom coup". With that out of the way, Francie mentions that the annual blood drive is coming up and they need to figure out where on campus to hold it. Madeline screams because she hates the word blood and tries to ignore the rest of the conversation. Francie goes on to say that she thinks the blood drive should take place in the cafeteria. Rory is against Francie and therefore Francie's ideas, and says it can't be held there because it would be a fire hazard. Francie says that as long as they don't pack more than three hundred people in the cafeteria, that there won't be a problem with it. Rory continues to defend her opinion and the rules of common decency; Paris denies Francie's suggestion because Rory is so adamant.

Back at the Gilmore house, Lorelai comes home with mystery meals from Al's and she and Rory each pick which takeout bag they want. They smell their bags at the same time; Rory guesses hers is Moroccan and Lorelai thinks hers is Pan-American with English Colonial and South African influences. Before eating, Lorelai checks the answering machine and there is a message from Emily's lawyer; he wants Lorelai to give a deposition because of Emily's lawsuit. Lorelai immediately calls Emily and says she will not give a deposition and that she wants nothing to do with the lawsuit. Emily tries to persuade Lorelai to do it, saying that she doesn't want to be humiliated and that Lorelai should help family members when they re in trouble. Lorelai agrees to talk to the lawyer for half an hour. Afterwards, Rory and Lorelai decide to pass on the mystery meals and go to Luke's.

The class that Lorelai and Sookie are taking at the Learning Center turns out to be less than worthwhile. As they sit in class listening to the lecturer talk about housekeeping service, they realize they haven't learned anything new since they've been there. Lorelai makes a cootie catcher and Sookie plays the game with her. The lecturer catches them playing and they apologize. It's the end of class but it turns out that the lecturers want to take the opportunity to tell the class about some "diamonds in the rough" properties. Fed up with the useless, gimmicky class, Lorelai and Sookie leave. In the hall outside, they make fun of the class, which was like "Running an Inn for Dummies". At the refreshment table, they decide to make up for the money they spent on the class by eating all of the food, but it turns out that the food is also terrible. Then, two men named Joe and Alex approach them. Joe knows Sookie and says hi. Suddenly Sookie remembers Joe from the Deerhill Lodge and is very excited to see him. Apparently she and Joe worked in the Berkshires one summer; they begin to reminisce about the wild times they had. All these people they knew had really bizarre names and Alex and Lorelai are left our and become very confused. Sookie tells the guys why she and Lorelai were at the class, and Joe says that he and Alex were there because they're business partners and want to open their own coffee shop. Actually, they already have a lot figured out for their coffee shop except the name. Lorelai and Sookie say not to use anything cute, like Jitters or Spill the Beans. Joe and Sookie continue reminiscing about the "Feldster" who opened a restaurant, a reception with parakeets, and Fat Sal who got locked in a freezer. Lorelai and Alex pretend they know what's going on and fake-reminisce about good ole Fat Sal. But when Sookie and Joe start to talk about really weird sounding things (the flooginshorts, for example), Alex and Lorelai decide it's getting too difficult to mimic the language. Joe and Sookie wrap up the conversation and say goodbye, and Lorelai and Alex say they're glad they were able to catch up. Afterwards, Sookie mentions what a coincidence it was that Lorelai and Alex knew each other too.

Meanwhile over at Chilton, Rory and Paris sit down to lunch together. Paris is complaining about having gravy on her asparagus and Rory says she shouldn't worry about it. Paris decides to do something about it and leaves. While she's gone, someone throws a paper airplane to Rory; it says that they need to meet and for Rory to pick a time and place. Rory writes back on it and when she's not looking, someone takes the plane. Paris comes back, frazzled because they took the tray. Rory gives Paris her food.

Later that day, Rory is in an empty parking garage and Francie shows up. Rory wonders why they couldn't have just talked in class but Francie wanted them to meet alone. She also says she wants a truce and that she doesn't want them to fight anymore. Rory is suspicious, but Francie continues by saying that she never wanted things to get so complicated and that the fighting is too exhausting. She asks if they can be friends and they shake hands. A car alarm goes off, distracting Rory, and Francie mysteriously vanishes.

Over at the Independence Inn, Lorelai goes over a few instructions with Michel who's a little put-off by being treated like he's a dummy. Lorelai apologizes and says she is stressed out because of the deposition. Michel says its very easy -- he once had a neighbor with an annoying yappy dog, and one day the dog "disappeared". Lorelai can't believe he got rid of the dog, but Michel just says he has results from the lie detector test to prove that his innocence.

Joe shows up at the inn to see Sookie. After chit-chatting a little bit and tasting the sauce she was cooking, he mentions what a good time they used to have together and that it's more than a coincidence that they ran into each other again. After he says that he wishes he had asked Sookie out those many years ago, Sookie quickly excuses herself to go consult Lorelai. She can't believe that Joe thinks theyre on a date, and Lorelai can't either. Lorelai says it is very flattering (noting the Great Gatsby reference that Joe could be Jay and Sookie could be his Daisy), but that Sookie should just tell him that she's married. So Sookie goes back to Joe and says she didn't think they were on a date and that she's married. She holds up her hand but then realizes she isn't wearing her wedding ring; she finds it and puts it back on. Joe says he isn't mad but that he just feels a little foolish. They agree to meet some other time, each with their respective husband and girlfriend.

In downtown Stars Hollow, Lorelai and Rory are preparing for Lorelai's deposition. Rory asks the first question: How does Emily run her household? In response, Lorelai brings up the grueling slave-rowing scene in Ben Hur. Rory asks the next question: Is Emily easy to get along with? Lorelai says no. Lorelai can't seem to take the questions seriously and she doesn't want to lie. Rory persuades her to present the truth in a different way, for example to say that Emily is a perfectionist.

When they get to Luke's, Luke is leaving because he's out of food. Apparently Jess forgot to order the food for the week, and all they have left is lettuce and bread. Lorelai and Rory give him a list of things to pick up from Doose' s market that they want to eat for dinner (and then some): burgers, tater tots, pickles, cheddar and swiss cheese, cherry pie, whipped cream, dental floss, paper towels and People magazine.

The next day at Chilton, Francie approaches Paris in the bathroom, and after kissing up to her a little bit, she shows her the picture of her and Rory shaking hands in the parking garage. Francie says that someone put the picture in her locker that morning and that Rory had approached her about the prom and senior gift. She tries to make it sound like Rory is blackmailing her, and Francie assures Paris that she wanted her to know what Rory is up to. Paris is very hurt and upset.

Later that day in the gym, the fencing class is getting ready to start and Rory and Paris are partners. Rory can tell that Paris is not herself and asks what's wrong. Paris says that she's upset that you can't always trust people, that she doesn't like to be taken advantage of, and that she saw the picture of Rory and Francie. Rory is puzzled and tries to tell her the truth but Paris doesn't give her the chance. Paris is taking the fencing very seriously, almost like it's a dual. They are causing a scene in the class-- everyone has stopped fencing except them. Paris says she can't believe Rory did something behind her back or that she ever considered Rory to be her best friend.

That evening at Emily and Richard's, Rory has told Lorelai about the day's events and Lorelai says Francie is pure evil. Rory is worried about Paris and feels terrible about everything. They go into the living room and notice that Emily is upset. As usual, Emily claims she's fine, but really she's upset about the deposition. Lorelai can't believe that Emily got the deposition to read. Emily reads the questions and answers that Lorelai gave. Although Lorelai's answers are truthful, they aren't convincing or at all favorable. Emily is upset that Lorelai couldn't find it in her to help out her own mother.

The same night at Sookie and Jackson's, Sookie has prepared a very fancy, romantic dinner: lamb chops, chorizo salad, beef jerky, cornbread and fried marshmallow pie. She's also has Creedence Clearwater Revival playing in the background, and immediately Jackson gets suspicious because Sookie doesn't like CCR. Jackson thinks Sookie cheated on him. She says that she just accidentally flirted with someone. Jackson says that he'll never be able to listen to CCR again without thinking of Sookie cheating on him.

Back at Lorelai's house, Rory is getting ready for bed. It's only nine thirty so Lorelai asks why she's going to bed so early. Rory says it's exhausting not having anyone to talk to at school. Lorelai says she hates those Chilton girls. She and Rory say goodnight.

The phone rings; it's Alex. He says he got Lorelai's phone number by calling the inn and that some French guy (Michel) gave him her home phone, saying that she stays up until three or four in the morning. Lorelai jokes that Michel's getting fired tomorrow. Alex says that he likes to try out different coffee shops on weekends and asks Lorelai to accompany him to help evaluate the coffee. She says that since she's one of the world's best coffee experts, she'll go. Alex makes sure she knows it's a date, so they don't go the route of Sookie and Joe. Lorelai says she does know it's a date. They end the conversation by talking about a few more names for his future coffee shop: Sludge, Regular Joe, The Mudhouse (Lorelai's idea), and Black Liquid Hope Sold Here.
Credit: GilmoreGirls.org

I Solemnly Swear Transcript ...

I Solemnly Swear Screencaps ...

Back to the Episode Guide ...