7.12 - To Whom It May Concern

[lsufan]

I have an issue with weak men. I've known a few. I am related to one. The result is that I have disdain and contempt for a weak, immature man. There is no way that I can respect a man like that, even if he is in most other ways acceptable. If those are Christopher's only bad traits - they are bad enough.

That's the personal bias that I bring with me when I watch this show. And no amount of explaining and/or defending his behavior can change that. I know men like him and I can get along with them, think they are charming or well-meaning, but I can't respect them.

That's totally understandable.  Everyone brings personal bias to the show, it can't be helped.  The thing is, I'm not sure that Lorelai has that personal bias.  I mean, a viewer might not respect Christopher, but Lorelai might, for her own personal reasons. Lorelai's feelings aren't necessarily the viewer's feelings.

I think that Luke and Christopher are such opposite people that it's rare a viewer would like both equally.  And I guess, therefore it makes it difficult to believe that Lorelai would have the same degree of love (although different in kind) for both of them.  But maybe she can.  She's a fairly unique person in a lot of ways.

But how can Lorelai not agree with me?  Just kidding. But this does explain why I am not as much of a Lorelai fan as I used to be. It's not that I don't like her, just that I can't identify with her the same way that I used to. Intelluctual understanding of a fictional character is one thing, but my gut emotional reaction as a fan is to be disappointed with her for choosing this relationship with a man I that I don't respect. It makes me unable to relate to her. I had a friend that married a man that I did not respect  and though she and I stayed friends, something between us was lost because I could not see what there was in him to respect. I never could be convinced that she actually respected him, either. I guess that's as good a way to explain it as any. I don't feel like I really know this Lorelai, just like I felt that I no longer really understood my friend that I had known for 17 years.

I don't expect viewers to like Luke and Christopher equally. Not at all. That would be quite unique, and if Lorelai truly feels this way then she is much more unique then I ever imagined.  I guess what I was trying to say is that disliking Christopher is not always based on liking Luke. Those two circumstances can be completely independent. I don't dislike Christopher because I like Luke. The reasons for the dislike are not based on comparing him to Luke. I dislike Christopher for the reasons I stated. I'm willing to allow that many people do dislike Christopher because they like Luke, but that is not necessarily the case for everyone who dislikes Christopher. Anyway, it doesn't matter, I guess. Perhaps I was just wondering if there are other out there whose dislike of Christopher doesn't have anything at all to do with Luke.

[DownWithChris11]

But this does explain why I am not as much of a Lorelai fan as I used to be. Intelluctual understanding of a fictional character is one thing, but my gut emotional reaction as a fan is to be disappointed with her for choosing this relationship with a man I that I don't respect. It makes me unable to relate to her.

I agree with this, because ever since the 100th eppie Lorelai has become less and less of a likeable character. Yes, it happens veeeeeery gradually, but it did happen.

I don't expect viewers to like Luke and Christopher equally. Not at all.

Yes, I like Chris and Luke for VERY different reasons. Luke is the good father, the handy man, Mr. Reliable, wry, Mr.Quirky-but-Loveable. Chris, on the other hand, is the "I-want-you-back", cute, hunky, manly-yet-sensitive-but-mostly-sensitive guy about town with the charm to,well, charm Lorelai into a relationship. It's up to Lorelai to decide what she wants in a husband, and we all know this will happen in a very personal internal battle. Does she want the cute, sexy guy from her past who fathered her child, but ditched her twice? Or does she want the fatherly, protective, strong man who gets irrationally angry and stubborn but who she knows will stick around for Rory and any children they may have? It's up to Lor to decide, but I'm nearly to the point where I don't care any more who she picks. Inside, I want her to pick Luke, but I feel badly for Chris, who basically became Lorelai's rebound man that turned into a husband all of a sudden. And on the other hand, I really feel that their shouldn't be any "picking" involved and just wish Lorelai could keep a steady relationship for once. Cause I'll be happy if she's happy. Now I'm fighting to choose what side I want to be on when it's Lor whos fighting the battle. And in both cases-What's a girl to do?! 

[DownWithChris11]

But this does explain why I am not as much of a Lorelai fan as I used to be. Intelluctual understanding of a fictional character is one thing, but my gut emotional reaction as a fan is to be disappointed with her for choosing this relationship with a man I that I don't respect. It makes me unable to relate to her.

    I agree with this, because ever since the 100th eppie Lorelai has become less and less of a likeable character. Yes, it happens veeeeeery gradually, but it did happen.
        

I don't expect viewers to like Luke and Christopher equally. Not at all.

Yes, I like Chris and Luke for VERY different reasons. Luke is the good father, the handy man, Mr. Reliable, wry, Mr.Quirky-but-Loveable. Chris, on the other hand, is the "I-want-you-back", cute, hunky, manly-yet-sensitive-but-mostly-sensitive guy about town with the charm to,well, charm Lorelai into a relationship.
       It's up to Lorelai to decide what she wants in a husband, and we all know this will happen in a very personal internal battle. Does she want the cute, sexy guy from her past who fathered her child, but ditched her twice? Or does she want the fatherly, protective, strong man who gets irrationally angry and stubborn but who she knows will stick around for Rory and any children they may have? It's up to Lor to decide, but I'm nearly to the point where I don't care any more who she picks. Inside, I want her to pick Luke, but I feel badly for Chris, who basically became Lorelai's rebound man that turned into a husband all of a sudden. And on the other hand, I really feel that their shouldn't be any "picking" involved and just wish Lorelai could keep a steady relationship for once. Cause I'll be happy if she's happy. Now I'm fighting to choose what side I want to be on when it's Lor whos fighting the battle. And in both cases-What's a girl to do?!  

[Luke Danes Fan]

Christopher has never done anything that has not been for himself. When we first met him, Christopher lies to his daughter and Lorelai and claims to be making loads of money. We find out he is broke, and he tells Rory not to tell Lorelai. Then when Lorelai is feeling defeated about what his father said, and what her father said, Christopher comforts her by having sex. What character.

Lorelai calls him up at her Bachelorette Party, they flirt some, and he never mentions dating anyone. Smooth.

He moves, changes his number and never even bothers to tell his daughter about it, but he gets poins because he shows up for her coming out. He has everything together it seems, flirts with Lorelai, and then just as she has hope, he tells her he's living with a woman. Nice.

Then he shows up because Sherry wants to meet and become bestest life long friends with Rory, not because Christopher wants to see her, but because Sherry does. Then he gets all pissed and makes a scene when Lorelai tells him that she is ready to move on, that she thinks she always held on hope that they would get together. Then leaves with Sherry, leaving Lorelai defeated and embarrassed. A solid man.

He shows up when Rory's cast is about to be taken off, and seems very attentive. Why? Because Sherry and him are broken up, so of course he sees this as a time to make a move on Lorelai, and he sleeps with her. The next morning he gives her the hope of them being together, then when he finds out Sherry is pregnant he decides it's time to be a man for his child, by Sherry. But that doesn't stop him from coming to Emily's house and still wanting to be with Lorelai, even though he still planned on being there for the baby, and marrying Sherry. What Class.

That's just the first two seasons. There are more eamples of Christopher being self absorbed. He doesn't care about anyone, but himself. He doesn't comfort Lorelai, when she is defeated, and broken, he sleeps with her, which ends with her feeling defeated and broken again.

The way I described being In Love could apply to a child, but in a different way. I don't have any children, but I do have 3 (soon to be 4) Nephews who I love. When I look into their eyes, I do see the future, but their future. I see every bit of potential they have, and all of the things they can do and be. But when you look into someone's eyes that your In Love with, you see your future together. You see your future children, grandchildren, you see a lifetime together with that person. When your In Love with someone you look at them and the room fades away, no matter where you are they are it.

Lorelai is In Love with Luke, even now. When she looks at Luke you can see the longing there. Right now she is torn, she knows she loves Luke, but she doesn't think he loves her anymore because of Christopher, and she doesn't want her marriage to fail. She doesn't want yet another relationship to fail. She doesn't want the thing that she always secretly wanted, the fairytale of being a family with Christopher and Rory to end. When she sees Luke now there is that longing, and the regret of her actions, and the pain that she caused Luke.

[LovesToRead]

That's totally understandable.  Everyone brings personal bias to the show, it can't be helped.  The thing is, I'm not sure that Lorelai has that personal bias.  I mean, a viewer might not respect Christopher, but Lorelai might, for her own personal reasons. Lorelai's feelings aren't necessarily the viewer's feelings.

Exactly.  And interestingly enough I actually have to work to overcome a bias against Luke.  He's a really bad communicator and I have personal issues with men who don't communicate well.  It's my own thing that I have to work to not let cloud my opinion of the character but it often leaks through.  I also think it's part of the issue that Lorelai had with him and I can really relate to that.  She needs someone who is constantly telling and showing her how they feel.  She doesn't do well with the wondering (as expressed in A Vinyard Valentine).

But how can Lorelai not agree with me?  Just kidding. But this does explain why I am not as much of a Lorelai fan as I used to be. It's not that I don't like her, just that I can't identify with her the same way that I used to. Intelluctual understanding of a fictional character is one thing, but my gut emotional reaction as a fan is to be disappointed with her for choosing this relationship with a man I that I don't respect. It makes me unable to relate to her. I had a friend that married a man that I did not respect  and though she and I stayed friends, something between us was lost because I could not see what there was in him to respect. I never could be convinced that she actually respected him, either. I guess that's as good a way to explain it as any. I don't feel like I really know this Lorelai, just like I felt that I no longer really understood my friend that I had known for 17 years.

See, and for me I feel like I can related to Lorelai even more wanting to be with a man who is constantly telling her and showing her how he feels about her. 

And I think another reason I've really been liking Christopher lately has to do with him trying to make things right and build a relationship with Rory and that's possibly for another possible reason.  Christopher really does love Rory and wants her to be just as proud of him as he is of her.  That's not selfish, that's something I think every parent wants (for their children to be proud of them).  He really has been working to support her not only financially but by being there and showing up for her (her journalism pannel, family weekend).  He knows he's made some big mistakes with her and he's trying to make them right.  I have to respect him for that.

[ErinG]

Lorelai's letter was so nice, I almost wanted to cry. Christopher shouldn't have gotten that mad. Luke was there for Lorelai and Rory more than he ever was and he should of realized that Lorelai was just helping out an old friend. Oh yeah Richard better not die, that would piss me off so bad.

[ella]

That's totally understandable.  Everyone brings personal bias to the show, it can't be helped.  The thing is, I'm not sure that Lorelai has that personal bias.  I mean, a viewer might not respect Christopher, but Lorelai might, for her own personal reasons. Lorelai's feelings aren't necessarily the viewer's feelings.

Exactly.  And interestingly enough I actually have to work to overcome a bias against Luke.  He's a really bad communicator and I have personal issues with men who don't communicate well.  It's my own thing that I have to work to not let cloud my opinion of the character but it often leaks through.  I also think it's part of the issue that Lorelai had with him and I can really relate to that.  She needs someone who is constantly telling and showing her how they feel.  She doesn't do well with the wondering (as expressed in A Vinyard Valentine).

But how can Lorelai not agree with me?  Just kidding. But this does explain why I am not as much of a Lorelai fan as I used to be. It's not that I don't like her, just that I can't identify with her the same way that I used to. Intelluctual understanding of a fictional character is one thing, but my gut emotional reaction as a fan is to be disappointed with her for choosing this relationship with a man I that I don't respect. It makes me unable to relate to her. I had a friend that married a man that I did not respect  and though she and I stayed friends, something between us was lost because I could not see what there was in him to respect. I never could be convinced that she actually respected him, either. I guess that's as good a way to explain it as any. I don't feel like I really know this Lorelai, just like I felt that I no longer really understood my friend that I had known for 17 years.

See, and for me I feel like I can related to Lorelai even more wanting to be with a man who is constantly telling her and showing her how he feels about her. 

And I think another reason I've really been liking Christopher lately has to do with him trying to make things right and build a relationship with Rory and that's possibly for another possible reason.  Christopher really does love Rory and wants her to be just as proud of him as he is of her.  That's not selfish, that's something I think every parent wants (for their children to be proud of them).  He really has been working to support her not only financially but by being there and showing up for her (her journalism pannel, family weekend).  He knows he's made some big mistakes with her and he's trying to make them right.  I have to respect him for that.

I have a bit of the same problem with Luke because of the same qualities.  Not exactly that I don't like him, more indifference, but I have to work at liking him.  

I think it's interesting that there isn't the massive conflict over Rory's love interests that there is over Lorelai's.  For instance I can see how she could be with Dean, Jess, and Logan at different stages of her life and because they bring out different sides of her personality--plus she's young and her identity is still evolving.
I wonder if it's because people don't identify as much with Rory--they observe her as a character.

When fans get really, really outraged or ecstatic over something that happens in a plot, it's often taken as "the story must be really true to life then", but I've come to the conclusion that it's not.  It's because the story has become larger than life and you're not watching characters anymore, but imagining yourself as characters in the story.  I mean, I've read comments like, "If Luke and Lorelai don't get together I'm going to die!  How can Lorelai look at another man!"  Obviously, if Lorelai were a real life person, she wouldn't have friends who talked about her relationship that way.  Actually it would be disturbing, because it would sound like most of her friends really wanted to live her life and usurp her boyfriend!

I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that people identify so much with Lorelai.  I'm leaning towards, it's the sign of excellent acting skills, but it's ultimately somewhat unhealthy.  Because when you start putting yourself in a character's head, it creates this yearning for wish fulfilment and this unnatural anger/hatred when your wishes don't get fulfilled.  I wonder if it even is totally possible to step back and view Lorelai as a person and objectively evaluate her relationships independently of your personal feelings about the men she's with?  Because it seems like everyone identifies with Lorelai in some way and it becomes hard to separate yourself from Lorelai.  

[lsufan]

I've always identified with Lorelai (and many other fictional characters) but I am rational enough to know that I am not her. (I would love to be that tall though! and have those eyes!  )  I fully understand that I use her as some of comparison study between the things I have in common with her and the ways in which I differ from her. At least I know I can honestly say that nothing at all in my life hinges in any way on whether Lorelai chooses Luke, Christopher or neither.

And while I understand that Lorelai might have a respect for Christopher that I do not because I certainly have not always agreed with Lorelai, I still find it curious. Both Emily and Lorelai have referred to or alluded to the fact that Christopher is weak and Lorelai simply does not strike me as a woman that can respect a weak man. Nothing about Lorelai is patient with weakness. She certinaly did not spect Rory's weakness in sleeping with a married man or stealing a yacht or dropping out of school. So why Christopher now?

Christopher looks like he is trying, but I am not convinced that he is. Christopher has always left me with the impression that if it is easy, fine, if not, forget it. In that I can say that I am not influenced by my bias against weak men - that I am judging him solely on his actions on the show. But it is a challenge to recognize my own bias and understand how it influences my feelings about the show. I can't shake the feeling that Christopher's being more present for Rory still has its roots in trying to influence Lorelai. Perhaps I am wrong, but that is what mistrust does, makes you question someone's motives. He doesn't get my respect until he does more to earn it.

As for Rory, I've only been on the forum for a few months and during that time, Logan has been the only man in her life and they really haven't had much screen time. But I thought Dean was a great guy and I thought she treated him terribly. He did not start off the simpleton they ended up portraying him to be. I thought Jess was a jerk with a few redeeming qualities, but not enough to make me think she should stay with him. Personally, Logan is harder for me to classify. He's got that irritating sense of entitlement that I despise, but he has grown a bit. The last few times we saw Jess, he seemed to have done a lot of growing up. When Logan and Jess had their little yelling match at the pub, I can honestly say that I was ready for Rory to toss Logan overboard and give Jess another chance. But for me personally, I identify with Rory less because she is so much younger than I am and there is that little matter of her sleeping with married Dean. I didn't hate her after that, but my respect was gone.

Is it possible to view characters that you've watched for 6+ years objectively. If during those years you haven't started to relate to them in some sort of personal way, I would wonder why you would keep watching. I think we are meant to bring our own history to the experience of watching the show. It is what makes us care, which is what keeps us tuning in. There is a fine line between caring enough to want to watch and yet understanding that it is not your life and it has no 'real' meaning in your life other than as entertainment and , if you are interested, an opportunity to understand more about yourself and others by being able to observe the causes and effects of the actions of fictional characters.

[lessa]

Ah, distinguishing fiction from reality. Who doesn't forget that vital step? But applying fiction to reality is an art form. You have to cut it to fit your own situation, and you can't freak out if life doesn't imitate art to accommodate your efforts. And never ever blame anything you do on television, that just ruins it for the rest of us.

I don't bring nearly as many biases to the show as I take away from it. Would I want to be a parent to my SO's newly discovered love child? I'd never thought about it before, but now that I've seen one good example, I don't think I'd freak out and go haywire over it, not even if he did.
I'm not ready for anything that could come up because of one episode of one TV show, but my head's in the right place, and I'm ready to throw my back into it, even if it never happens. Though it's a little embarrassing, I can admit that I learned to think of any children in a situation first from Gilmore Girls.

That's another thing: Is it my imagination, or is the light being shown on "Lorelai is good with kids" this episode? Maybe in the absence of the rest of her craziness bearing fruit, they're playing up one of her traits that makes her marriage material for Luke. I mean, I know it's not a big deal in TV land, but she is really good with kids. I'd marry her in a second just for that if it were legal in my state.

[LovesToRead]

I have a bit of the same problem with Luke because of the same qualities.  Not exactly that I don't like him, more indifference, but I have to work at liking him.

It's not that I dislike him per se.  I do get irritated more easily then others do.  I think indifference is a big issue for me to overcome with him too though. 

Christopher looks like he is trying, but I am not convinced that he is. Christopher has always left me with the impression that if it is easy, fine, if not, forget it.

In the past, I may have agreed with you here but the whole situation with Gigi makes me look at him in a whole different light when it comes to this kind of thing.  So, his wife leaves him to raise a child so she can run off to Paris.  Being a single parent is hard, especially if you haven't been around much, but he didn't take the easy way out.  He could have dumped Gigi on his mother or left her to the nanny and ignored her but he has really worked to be a good dad and take care of her.  And when she was out of control and had no discipline, even though he reacted badly when Lorelai brought it up initially, he eventually took her words to heart and started to make a changed.  Disciplining spoiled children is not easy, especially when the parental guilt factors in but I think he's done a good job on that as well.  In the last episode, Gigi seemed like she was pretty well mannered for a four year old.  As far as Rory goes, he seems to love her unconditionally as well.  Yes, he hasn't always been around and he's made a lot of mistakes with her (by not being there) but he's trying to make ammends.  And I don't think it has been an easy process for him.  I think he really realized this when his father died and again during parents weekend and has since overcompensated to try to make things right.

As for Rory, I've only been on the forum for a few months and during that time, Logan has been the only man in her life and they really haven't had much screen time. But I thought Dean was a great guy and I thought she treated him terribly. He did not start off the simpleton they ended up portraying him to be. I thought Jess was a jerk with a few redeeming qualities, but not enough to make me think she should stay with him. Personally, Logan is harder for me to classify. He's got that irritating sense of entitlement that I despise, but he has grown a bit. The last few times we saw Jess, he seemed to have done a lot of growing up. When Logan and Jess had their little yelling match at the pub, I can honestly say that I was ready for Rory to toss Logan overboard and give Jess another chance. But for me personally, I identify with Rory less because she is so much younger than I am and there is that little matter of her sleeping with married Dean. I didn't hate her after that, but my respect was gone.

While I do identify with Lorelai on some levels, I find it much easier to identify with Rory because she and I are roughly the same age.  I agree that Rory did not treat Dean well in the end but he wasn't exactly Mr. Perfect at the end there either (constantly suspicious of Tristan then Jess).  As for Jess, I was more interested in his relationship with Luke than Rory but I have the same issue with him being a poor communicator that I do with Luke.  As for Logan, he does have an air of arrogance about him, moreso in the beginning than now, that ASP called "the fun" in the commentary of You Jump, I Jump Jack but I think that he is a deeper character than just that.  He has issues with his family and not feeling like he's good enough to his father among other.  And yes, the fight in the bar was immature but there were so many other factors going on there.  He had just gotten back from a business trip with his father and he comes home to find his girlfriend talking to some guy who he doesn't know and then finds out he's an ex-flame.  I've been in a similar situation (coming off a bad day and finding my boyfriend talking to his ex who he's now friends with but rarely sees) and I'll admit I reacted badly as well.  And I definitely did not think she should have just run back to Jess just because he challenged what was going on in her life.  I think she and Logan were both on a downward spiral at that point in their lives and it was probably a good thing that they split up.  I do ultimately think they are good for each other.  They bring out the worst in each other at times but they also bring out the best.  In my opinion at least.

That's another thing: Is it my imagination, or is the light being shown on "Lorelai is good with kids" this episode? Maybe in the absence of the rest of her craziness bearing fruit, they're playing up one of her traits that makes her marriage material for Luke. I mean, I know it's not a big deal in TV land, but she is really good with kids. I'd marry her in a second just for that if it were legal in my state.

It's been somewhat of and on going theme to me since right before she and Chris to Gigi to Paris.  She is interacting with Gigi and telling her all about what's going to happen onn the trip and trying to make sure she's comfortable.  Then, in Santa's Secret Stuff, we see her interacting with Gigi and Rory simultaneously while they are stringing popcorn and cranberries.  It was almost as if they were trying to prove that she can handle having two kids at once and spread around the attention.

[mhmm]

My point is that I’ve only seen one (that I can remember) instance of where he truly disappointed Rory.  In fact I can’t even remember another that’s been implied he disappointed her.  The one I can remember is when Rory tells him to stay out of their lives at the vow renewal.  So to say that he’s been a constant disappointment to her, it’s just not true.  The character does have some good qualities that were never really explored in depth due to the focus of the show being on the girls.  Of course, it should be on them, but when he wasn’t a constant in their lives he was off doing the right thing (for a change ) and owning up to his responsibilities to Sherry and Gigi.  The important part of that was that he didn’t make the same mistake twice and that shows an improvement in his character. 

Another time that comes to mind was around the time of Sookie's wedding...other people have brought it up...he and Lorelai were going to get together, they had a nice night before the wedding, talked about getting together, she even told her parents that they were going to be together (I think)...then the day of the wedding he tells her Sherry is pregnant and is going to be there for Gigi (which is very commendable), but Rory wouldn't take/return his calls for a while after this (her choice, not Lorelai's)...he shows up (more like ambushes her) at Friday night dinner, demands Lorelai talk to him, then blames her for not allowing Rory to talk to him.

There has been a lot of good discussion about this, I don't really have any more to add to...although, I do want to say that I dislike Christopher and it has nothing to do with liking Luke more, in fact last season and even in season 5 Luke got on my nerves a lot with the breaking up, running away and what not.  I don't care for Chris for many of the same reasons that lsufan has brought up, so I won't repeat what's already been said.

I've mentioned this before and I think someone else sort of brought it up, but I think my biggest issues with Chris, is that he is not a main character...a lot of stuff happens off screen with him and between him and Lorelai so we don't actually know how things went down...it's left up to the viewer to interpret it the way that they want, well want isn't the right word.  Which can be good in some cases, but in the case of Christopher I'd rather know what has happened than have to infer what has happened.

[willowsprite]

Chris's responses aren't that farfetched. I don't know why he'd think Lorelai could move past a serious relationship so quickly, but Chris has always been a bit fluffy when it comes to his understanding of Lorelai. He probably just didn't understand it was a serious relationship (again looking through fluff-covered glasses). All his relationships were him settling for a second best when his heart really wanted Lorelai. He probably imagined that Lorelai was doing the same thing. After all, they wanted to be together badly at the end of season 2, and he probably feels she still wanted that and has just been biding her time since. He never got to see Luke and Lorelai interact while dating. He hasn't lived in the same town and seen what Luke has done for Lorelai. He doesn't understand the bond they share and the respect she has for Luke. Why would he? Lorelai's relationship with Luke was something he wasn't there to witness, and something he wouldn't want to think about anyway.

I like the 'fluff-covered glasses'.  That makes sense, that since all other women were place holders til he could have Lorelei, that he would believe she would be the same.  Idllyic romanticism is in for a hard fall.

I think it's interesting that there isn't the massive conflict over Rory's love interests that there is over Lorelai's.  For instance I can see how she could be with Dean, Jess, and Logan at different stages of her life and because they bring out different sides of her personality--plus she's young and her identity is still evolving.
I wonder if it's because people don't identify as much with Rory--they observe her as a character.

When fans get really, really outraged or ecstatic over something that happens in a plot, it's often taken as "the story must be really true to life then", but I've come to the conclusion that it's not.  It's because the story has become larger than life and you're not watching characters anymore, but imagining yourself as characters in the story.  I mean, I've read comments like, "If Luke and Lorelai don't get together I'm going to die!  How can Lorelai look at another man!"  Obviously, if Lorelai were a real life person, she wouldn't have friends who talked about her relationship that way.  Actually it would be disturbing, because it would sound like most of her friends really wanted to live her life and usurp her boyfriend!

I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that people identify so much with Lorelai.  I'm leaning towards, it's the sign of excellent acting skills, but it's ultimately somewhat unhealthy.  Because when you start putting yourself in a character's head, it creates this yearning for wish fulfilment and this unnatural anger/hatred when your wishes don't get fulfilled.  I wonder if it even is totally possible to step back and view Lorelai as a person and objectively evaluate her relationships independently of your personal feelings about the men she's with?  Because it seems like everyone identifies with Lorelai in some way and it becomes hard to separate yourself from Lorelai. 

I think there is so much less controversy about Rory's love life because there is only one guy on the show for her right now.  If Jess came back as a regular character, look out.  There's be pages of whether Logan or Jess is the one for Rory.

And on identifying with characters, I think its more healthy than not, its a way to vent all sorts of feelings and feel like you're part of trying to help someone take the right path.  If only they would listen to you.  I'm writing this the day after the Super Bowl, and there was a whole lot of yearning, wish fulfillment and joy/anger/sadnesss to go around during and after the game. Is every sports fan unhealthy for yelling at the TV when the quarterback throws an interception, or when they jump up and down when a touchdown is scored?  I think not.  Identification and rooting for your 'team' is just part of being human.

[lsufan]

While I do identify with Lorelai on some levels, I find it much easier to identify with Rory because she and I are roughly the same age...And I definitely did not think she should have just run back to Jess just because he challenged what was going on in her life. I think she and Logan were both on a downward spiral at that point in their lives and it was probably a good thing that they split up. I do ultimately think they are good for each other. They bring out the worst in each other at times but they also bring out the best. In my opinion at least.

And I am closer to Lorelai's age, so I view Rory's character with more distance. I didn't really want her to run back to Jess either, I just appreciated that the character had matured and really shined a light into the darkness of Rory's world at the time. As for Logan, I neither dislike nor like him and his relationship with Rory. I remain neutral, which unfortunately says that their story doesn't matter much to me. That could be a result of their tremendously decreased screen time this year.

There has been a lot of good discussion about this, I don't really have any more to add to...although, I do want to say that I dislike Christopher and it has nothing to do with liking Luke more, in fact last season and even in season 5 Luke got on my nerves a lot with the breaking up, running away and what not. I don't care for Chris for many of the same reasons that lsufan has brought up, so I won't repeat what's already been said.

I am always willing to be alone on my island of opinion if necessary, but I am so glad that someone else feels as I do! 

I've mentioned this before and I think someone else sort of brought it up, but I think my biggest issues with Chris, is that he is not a main character...a lot of stuff happens off screen with him and between him and Lorelai so we don't actually know how things went down...it's left up to the viewer to interpret it the way that they want, well want isn't the right word. Which can be good in some cases, but in the case of Christopher I'd rather know what has happened than have to infer what has happened.

My gut instinct is to say, the less Christopher, the better. But I agree that Christopher (in this season so far, at least) is a main character, but as you say, much is left to the imagination of the viewers (that's dangerous!).

I think there is so much less controversy about Rory's love life because there is only one guy on the show for her right now. If Jess came back as a regular character, look out. There's be pages of whether Logan or Jess is the one for Rory.

And on identifying with characters, I think its more healthy than not, its a way to vent all sorts of feelings and feel like you're part of trying to help someone take the right path. If only they would listen to you. I'm writing this the day after the Super Bowl, and there was a whole lot of yearning, wish fulfillment and joy/anger/sadnesss to go around during and after the game. Is every sports fan unhealthy for yelling at the TV when the quarterback throws an interception, or when they jump up and down when a touchdown is scored? I think not. Identification and rooting for your 'team' is just part of being human.

Ah, willowsprite, you speak the truth. If Jess were back as a regular character, there would be posts flying and smoke rising from keyboards due to the heated nature of those discussions!

I like your 'venting feelings' theory. I love to watch sports, too, and aside from the enjoyment of the game, part of it is the freedom to get caught up in the emotions and express them loudly and immediately. (I was pulling for the Colts because they have two former LSU players that start - Anthony "Booger" McFarland and Joe Addai. Yay!)

---

I watched "To Whom It May Concern" again last night and I am still confused at Christopher interpreting Lorelai's letter as a 'love letter.' Certainly it was filled with sincere emotion, but love as in love letter? I didn't get that. I was truly proud of Lorelai for setting aside all the negative and really stepping up and coming through as a true friend. I am always wondering exactly how much or how little understanding Christopher has of Lorelai's relationship with 'that diner guy.' So much of the Lorelai/Christopher relationship has been off screen this season (not a complaint) that I am unsure how much Lorelai has shared with him. My guess is that Luke's name has rarely been mentioned between them even before the wackiness of this season, but it's only a guess.

[lifesSHORTtalkFAST]

this was deff. one of the best epi. of this season
i cant wait till tonight

[lessa]

Actually, there was a great deal of heated debate about Logan and Rory last episode, so now it's Lorelai's turn. A lot of people (myself included) assumed Logan couldn't possibly be jealous at this late stage and quested pages for other reasons he would have been angry.

Maybe we're making this more complicated than it has to be: Chris pressed her to marry him because he was sure she loved him absolutely. She accepted because she's burned out on calling the steps in her relationship. Chris was understandably disappointed when he found out her feelings were not clear-cut, so he had a fit and went "out" to think.

Or maybe I'm just out of steam. Good thing there's a new episode tonight!