7.11 - Santa's Secret Stuff

[Alexandria]

Luke wanted the marriage to put the marriage on hold until he sorted things out with April. How is bonding with her a step back? He told Lorelai he wanted to get married, but he needed some time to get to know his daughter and get things situated with her. Luke bonding with April is him taking an action towards getting married, not a step backwards, he even started to include Lorelai, another step forward.

I actually think that post-poning the marriage is a non-step, neither a step backwards or forwards that would have put him and Lorelai closer to marriage.

What I don't get is why he couldn't have gotten to know April better and bonded with her and still stuck to the June 3 wedding date. It's not as if he had to do anything in regards to planning the wedding (which might have distracted or kept him from spending time with April for example) since Lorelai and Sookie had it all planned out.

And like Lorelai, I don't understand how he included Lorelai in his life with April. I think that he shut Lorelai out in order to assess and figure out the April situation for himself and that is why Lorelai told Sookie she felt like she wasn't even in the car anymore and that she was barely holding onto the bumper.

[Luke Danes Fan]

I actually think that post-poning the marriage is a non-step, neither a step backwards or forwards that would have put him and Lorelai closer to marriage.

We weren't referring to the marriage being post-poned, but how he behaved after it was. I think him bonding with April was a step forward in gettin back to the wedding, since he post-poned it until he got things together with her.

What I don't get is why he couldn't have gotten to know April better and bonded with her and still stuck to the June 3 wedding date. It's not as if he had to do anything in regards to planning the wedding (which might have distracted or kept him from spending time with April for example) since Lorelai and Sookie had it all planned out.

It's the pressure. He wanted to be able to be there for Lorelai, and not just some insert figure at the alter guy. By post-poning the date, Luke was able to focus more on forging a relationship with April, so he could be there 100% for Lorelai and give her the wedding she deserves, which includes a groom who is fully there, and doesn't have his mind on something else.

And like Lorelai, I don't understand how he included Lorelai in his life with April. I think that he shut Lorelai out in order to assess and figure out the April situation for himself and that is why Lorelai told Sookie she felt like she wasn't even in the car anymore and that she was barely holding onto the bumper.

At first he did keep her out, and he told her why, because he thought that once April met Lorelai, she would thing she was so cool that April will no longer be interested in spending any time with him. But at her party, he reached out and let her in. After Anna ripped him one for letting Lorelai be a part of it, he didn't tell Lorelai she was shut out again, it actually looked like he was trying to think of how she an be in it without ticking off Anna. But then Lorelai ducked Luke like the plague, until she dropped the ultimatum, the Anna bomb on him, and then left.

[LovesToRead]

Yes, those are all actions but they were all pre-April.  And trying to bond with April wasn't a step towards getting married.  In fact, it was several steps back. 

Luke wanted the marriage to put the marriage on hold until he sorted things out with April. How is bonding with her a step back? He told Lorelai he wanted to get married, but he needed some time to get to know his daughter and get things situated with her. Luke bonding with April is him taking an action towards getting married, not a step backwards, he even started to include Lorelai, another step forward.

Perhaps I should have explained more clearly why I think it was a step backward.  The way I saw it, as Luke bonded with April more and more, he became more emotionally detached from Lorelai.  When she was there, he acknowledged her and was maybe even affectionate but they weren't really sharing their lives anymore (which is extremely important in a marriage).  I think that's what Lorelai was trying to explain in her car analogy.  That she couldn't take being cut off like that from him anymore and as things progressed with him and April, it got worse and worse for her.  Speaking as a woman, I couldn't be with a guy that was cutting me out of his life (especially if I was engaged to him). 

And I never saw the paint thing as her avoiding helping with the house.  It's not like she wasn't trying to pick a color for the house, she was just having a really hard time doing it. 

She was avoiding. She placed her trying to pick  color on the back burner, and helped everyone else, so she could keep it on the back burner.

This is one thing that depends on the way you look at it.  Seeing as I have some experience with painting a house, I can relate to what Lorelai was feeling.  In my position, I avoided picking the colors because I knew I had to live with it and I didn't know what I wanted.  But somehow, colors for other people and other things were magically clicking in my head.  It's something that I think happens to some of us when we think too hard about something.  We can't think of the answer to our own questions (in Lorelai's case what color should she paint her own house?) so we start thinking about answers to all kinds of other problems (in Lorelai's case, a new color for Sookie).  I didn't see it as some great attempt to not get the house finished.  I saw it as something that happens to scattered people (which Lorelai definitely is) when they can't make up their minds about something.

[Luke Danes Fan]

Perhaps I should have explained more clearly why I think it was a step backward.  The way I saw it, as Luke bonded with April more and more, he became more emotionally detached from Lorelai.  When she was there, he acknowledged her and was maybe even affectionate but they weren't really sharing their lives anymore (which is extremely important in a marriage).  I think that's what Lorelai was trying to explain in her car analogy.  That she couldn't take being cut off like that from him anymore and as things progressed with him and April, it got worse and worse for her.  Speaking as a woman, I couldn't be with a guy that was cutting me out of his life (especially if I was engaged to him). 

A few hours a day, a couple days a week, that's all the time he had with April. I could see that being the reason in the beginning, but then after the party you saw that he was ready for Lorelai to join them. Plus like I said before he explained the reason why he didn't want to include her until then, and Lorelai should had been able to empathize with his situation.

This is one thing that depends on the way you look at it.  Seeing as I have some experience with painting a house, I can relate to what Lorelai was feeling.  In my position, I avoided picking the colors because I knew I had to live with it and I didn't know what I wanted.  But somehow, colors for other people and other things were magically clicking in my head.  It's something that I think happens to some of us when we think too hard about something.  We can't think of the answer to our own questions (in Lorelai's case what color should she paint her own house?) so we start thinking about answers to all kinds of other problems (in Lorelai's case, a new color for Sookie).  I didn't see it as some great attempt to not get the house finished.  I saw it as something that happens to scattered people (which Lorelai definitely is) when they can't make up their minds about something.

Lorelai approached everything about fixing the house the same way. She knew the closer they were to finishing the house the less there would be to do, and then she would have just Rory keeping her from being married. She was using the house as a reason why she wasn't making contact with Rory, and with that done there wasn't anything else distracting her.

[LovesToRead]

A few hours a day, a couple days a week, that's all the time he had with April. I could see that being the reason in the beginning, but then after the party you saw that he was ready for Lorelai to join them. Plus like I said before he explained the reason why he didn't want to include her until then, and Lorelai should had been able to empathize with his situation.

But seeing as I disagreed with Luke's reasoning, at least the way he expressed it, I don't think she had to empathize with him at all.  I mean, she could empathize with the fact that he was shocked about having a child or that it was taking him some time to process that but I don't think she had to empathize with him keeping her out of that part of his life.  After the party he may have been ready to let her in but then 24 hours later, she finds out she's out again.  That's pretty discouraging.

Lorelai approached everything about fixing the house the same way. She knew the closer they were to finishing the house the less there would be to do, and then she would have just Rory keeping her from being married. She was using the house as a reason why she wasn't making contact with Rory, and with that done there wasn't anything else distracting her.

I disagree.  I have seen no concrete proof to support the fact that Lorelai was using the house to put off talking with Rory.  Lorelai made a choice that she wasn't going to talk to Rory until she was out of her parents' house and back at Yale.  And while I completely disagree with the way she handled the Rory situation, whether the house was finished or not, she wasn't going to talk to her.

[Luke Danes Fan]

But seeing as I disagreed with Luke's reasoning, at least the way he expressed it, I don't think she had to empathize with him at all.  I mean, she could empathize with the fact that he was shocked about having a child or that it was taking him some time to process that but I don't think she had to empathize with him keeping her out of that part of his life.  After the party he may have been ready to let her in but then 24 hours later, she finds out she's out again.  That's pretty discouraging.

Lorelai should empathize, because she knows how important it is to bond with your child. She knows that if it wasn't just her and Rory, they wouldn't be the way they are now. Lorelai also knows a thing or two about being jealous of your child bonding with someone else. Of course we all know she knows all about keeping things from people.

Luke never told her she had to et out of April's life. Luke said Anna got made that Lorelai helped with the sleepover party, and he told her, he took full responsibility for it. He never cut her off again, it was Lorelai who after that dodged Luke's calls, avoided Luke, slept at Sookie's, then had Miss Patty lie to Luke. 

I disagree.  I have seen no concrete proof to support the fact that Lorelai was using the house to put off talking with Rory.  Lorelai made a choice that she wasn't going to talk to Rory until she was out of her parents' house and back at Yale.  And while I completely disagree with the way she handled the Rory situation, whether the house was finished or not, she wasn't going to talk to her.

The house was the final distraction. With the house done, Lorelai would be faced with the reality that Rory still isn't back and the fact that she has done nothing to get her back.

[loganluvr]

"Monkey monkey underpants"

[DownWithChris11]

suuuuuuuch a great and funny eppie!

[DownWithChris11]

defff. a great one, since we know Chris/Lor are Splitsville.

[a little misguided]

I love Lor's train of thought, hilarious!! Now that would have been a hard sentence to remember!

The part where she's posting the letter felt like she was feeling releaved that Luke will know how much she meant to her and Rory,  and what she wrote was very sweet.

[gilmore2972]

i loved the letter

[Una]

Oh my God, Lane walks beyond funny.
As for Gigi- she is a spitting image of Lorelai.
And the best thing I've heard Lorelai say for at least three seasons was the rant about how she can't write exactly what she feels because it's a mess- the one that finishes with "hockey puck, rattle snake,monkey monkey underpants". I think I laughed for about 10 minutes straight.

[Gilmore Gyrlie]

Could Lorelai looks anymore miserable, she's CLEARLY not happy with the Stepford Husband. 


Please end this farce of a marriage already.

[thevoid99]

OK, can we never hear Christopher sing again?  OMG, that was awful.

This is one of the better episodes.  I liked the stuff with Lane reacting towards her stomach and all of these with being pregnant.  I think how Zach comforted and such really showed that he's the right guy for her.  He's come a long way and I like how devoted he is for and how much he's into the idea of having twins. 

I thought Gigi was cute.  She had some nice moments. 

That meeting with Luke and Lorelai at the inn was awkward and he shook her hand.  What the hell?  I think he probably cursed at himself for doing that.  The train of thought stuff was OK though the jump-cuts was a little weird to watch.  It seemed like Lorelai didn't want to put any effort into writing the letter because she wants to avoid her feelings for Luke.

My favorite scene is where Lorelai and Rory bumped into Luke and April and seeing those 4 together to me, seems like the ideal family.  I think they have a better look than say Lorelai and Rory with Christopher and Gigi for me. 

I was actually touched about what Rory said to Luke about all of those presents he got for her.  Even though she was a little weirded out by what he gave her.  He meant well and I think sometimes, we do forget about how much Luke meant to Rory.  In 1.06-Rory's Birthday Parties.  He had a special table for her with a coffee cake and balloons.  In 2.20-Help Wanted, he let Rory at her diner to talk about Jess as they both knew it wasn't his fault that they had a car accident.  He was there at her high school graduation.  He carried her mattress to Yale and back in her first day.  He's done so much for her.  Hell, he gave Rory what I think is the greatest present that no one, not even her father could buy.  His mother's pearls and that must've meant so much to Rory.

I think all of that finally gave Lorelai what she needed.  Knowing that Luke never got the chance to be a dad to his daughter and seeing how much April needed him. 

That last scene showed how much Lorelai has changed.  We all knew in the past, whenever snow is around, she's excited.  Now, she isn't.  She has changed.  It's quite sad to see that she's now stuck to a guy that has hurt her so many times in the past and has never been there for their own daughter very much.