2.12 - Richard in Stars Hollow

[TheHumanCoffeePot]

Summary: Newly retired Richard (Edward Herrmann) is driving Emily (Kelly Bishop) crazy, so Lorelai (Lauren Graham) is coerced into taking her father for a day in Stars Hollow, where he proceeds to drive both Lorelai and Rory (Alexis Bledel) batty while criticizing every aspect of their lives and refusing to let Rory accept the car that Dean (Jared Padalecki) has built for her.

[MRS.PADALECKI]

yeah the car!!! dean is sooo perfect!!!

[dancer1012]

I just have two things to say.

1. Oh My God, Oh My God, What. What ya doing, Just standing here, next to a car your car, no you didn't, finnished it yesterday. Dean built Rory a car!!! That's so sweet.

2. Rory come entertain your grandfather while your spirited mommy orders please. Who knew that a day with her father would make Lorelai go that crazy.I did, she can barely stand FND let alone a whole day.

[Agent_A]

I felt bad for Richard though. Nobody in his family didn't want him near them must of felt very lonely.

[deans_grl]

the car fight i also liked this part:

richard: how tall r u?
dean: y? do u want to dance?
richard: no but thank u

[Dani257]

I felt bad for Richard though. Nobody in his family didn't want him near them must of felt very lonely.

I'd have more sympathy for Richard if he didn't gloss over Lorelai's justified anger at him to whine poor me.  Yeah, okay, it's sad Emily needed some time away from him, but Lorelai put up with him treating her like a child.  I don't think that was part of the deal of spending time with him.  He talked about her eating choices in public.  The woman is in her mid 30's.  If she wants to order a plate of syrup with extra sugar and eat that for breakfast, she's got a right.  I mean, Luke might give her some grief about her eating, but in the end he gives her what she orders, and it never comes across as Daddy getting the 5 year old to eat healthy.  Then, he criticizes her in her place of business in front of her employees.  Way to undermine your daughter's authority.  And, he's a businessman and should know better.  He doesn't agree with her tactics?  It's not any of his business, but if he just can't keep his big mouth shut, he'd be better to talk to her quietly later.  Although, I would have wanted to punch him regardless of when he said it.  Add to that his comment on her clothes.  Would he have said those things to the manager of another inn?  I think his behavior to her at the inn was the most inexcusable.  But, Lorelai takes it with the patience of a saint until he jumps in and overrides her judgement as a parent.  After constant criticism and being treated like a child, she snaps, she tells him that she's Rory's parent, not him, she makes the rules.  Does any of that go through his thick skull?  Does he stop to consider that he's been ragging on her all day?  No, he just gives her a snotty comment about constructive criticism and turns it all around into a woe is me, no one wuvs me fest.  And, Lorelai ends the episode feeling bad because she had the nerve to speak up for herself.  And, he wonders why she never invited him to spend the day with her.

My favorite part of the episode was Lorelai declaring, "I am Jo."

[deans_grl]

i think that dean was so kind to build him a car..... i want a guy to do something like that for me

[Catie13]

the car fight i also liked this part:

richard: how tall r u?
dean: y? do u want to dance?
richard: no but thank u

Lol. That was so funny!

The car was cute but hideous. Lol. And I felt bad for Richard, he seemed so lost and alone.

[Insanekat]

Does anyone know what kind of car this is?

[jjeanie]

I felt bad for Richard though. Nobody in his family didn't want him near them must of felt very lonely.

I'd have more sympathy for Richard if he didn't gloss over Lorelai's justified anger at him to whine poor me.  Yeah, okay, it's sad Emily needed some time away from him, but Lorelai put up with him treating her like a child.  I don't think that was part of the deal of spending time with him.  He talked about her eating choices in public.  The woman is in her mid 30's.  If she wants to order a plate of syrup with extra sugar and eat that for breakfast, she's got a right.  I mean, Luke might give her some grief about her eating, but in the end he gives her what she orders, and it never comes across as Daddy getting the 5 year old to eat healthy.  Then, he criticizes her in her place of business in front of her employees.  Way to undermine your daughter's authority.  And, he's a businessman and should know better.  He doesn't agree with her tactics?  It's not any of his business, but if he just can't keep his big mouth shut, he'd be better to talk to her quietly later.  Although, I would have wanted to punch him regardless of when he said it.  Add to that his comment on her clothes.  Would he have said those things to the manager of another inn?  I think his behavior to her at the inn was the most inexcusable.  But, Lorelai takes it with the patience of a saint until he jumps in and overrides her judgement as a parent.  After constant criticism and being treated like a child, she snaps, she tells him that she's Rory's parent, not him, she makes the rules.  Does any of that go through his thick skull?  Does he stop to consider that he's been ragging on her all day?  No, he just gives her a snotty comment about constructive criticism and turns it all around into a woe is me, no one wuvs me fest.  And, Lorelai ends the episode feeling bad because she had the nerve to speak up for herself.  And, he wonders why she never invited him to spend the day with her.

My favorite part of the episode was Lorelai declaring, "I am Jo."

I'm pretty sure a lot of parents give advise when its not asked for.. With a father whose gone through the transition from fully time employment to retirement... I've noticed that my father certainly had a lot more time simply for *ehem* fatherly advise....ok plain out unwanted, un asked for information....criticism..  It just happens... When does a parent stop giviing advise to their offspring?  I agree that Lorelai's torelance in this episode was close to saintly for her... Her willingness to comply to her father's advise was simply her willingness to comply.  She could have simply said "Well, the grapefruit may be nice for you dad, but I'm fine without it" blahblah blah.. I mean Lorelai isn't one to be shy of words, or afraid to stand up to her parents..  She pretty much defied them all her life...   In the end she did snap.. and I dont think that that was very respectful towards a parent, or considerate of Richard in his current situation.  She knew he was not happy.  He was adjusting to his new pace in life, his new social-ecconomic situation and status etc  I felt sorry for Richard here.

[Dani257]

I wouldn't call Richard's actions giving advice.  He was nitpicking at her.  A lot of it is in the tone.  Richard and Emily both seem to have this image of Lorelai as a teenager.  They talk down to her.  He spoke to her like she was a child.  Worse, he criticized her in public and had no respect (it goes both ways) for her in two very important areas of her life. As a business woman and as a parent.  You do not undermine someone at their place of business unless they're doing something wrong.  And, even then, you file a complaint or do something professional.  You don't jump in and talk them down in front of their employees.  Even if you are their dad.  Especially.  Imagine if Trix had visited Richard at his job one day and reamed him out in front of the lower staff, and then called attention to the fact that Mommy was doing the criticizing.  He would have blown up at her, and rightfully so.  If Richard had waited until he was alone, that would have been better.  Richard treated Lorelai like a 16 year old, and later episodes show that he honestly thinks of her like one, even when he isn't talking directly to her.

And, I think Lorelai was very respectful.  The thing is, she had a legitimate concern.  A few, actually.  But, it was only when he butted into her role as a parent that she let loose.  And, she even waited until Rory wasn't there.  She made sure Richard wouldn't look bad (as far as she had any control) to his granddaughter.  But, how is Lorelai's word going to have any authority if her decisions are usurped by someone else? 

And, yes, Richard was feeling depressed, and I think Lorelai was sympathetic, but the world doesn't stop because Richard doesn't have a job.  The rules don't change for Richard.  Unless it's a matter of abuse or something like that, Richard doesn't have the right to override Lorelai's decisions when it comes to her -not Richard's, her daughter.  Being depressed isn't a good reason.  And, I don't think Lorelai should have let it go.

If Richard had come at a later episode and apologized, said he was feeling bad because of the situation and may have taken it out on Lorelai because she was there, and because he needed to have felt in charge again (which would have been a really good character moment, come to think of it) I would have felt sympathetic.  Lorelai has said some things in the heat of the moment or while under duress that were wrong, but I can sympathize because she doesn't go around in this fog where she's always right.  She apologizes.  She doesn't just go around telling herself she's justified for not considering others because she feels bad.  Heck, Lorelai apologizes for things that I don't even think are wrong.  But, Emily rarely apologizes (only one implied apology since the beginning of the show) and Richard has never apologized to Lorelai in any shape or form.  I just find it very hard to sympathize with a character, even if the situation is a bad one, when they show a pattern of not caring about the feelings of my favorite character. 

[MrsVentimiglia]

Back when I was a Dean Girl I loved this epi but now I love Jess and while I love all gg epis, Dean epis are not my favorites anymore. However, it was very cute that he made her a car but when he presented it to her it was almost like the way he was talking to her he was treating her like a child. did anyone else see that?

Love,
K

[Dani257]

No, I didn't notice Dean treating her like a child.  In what way?

[wmushell]

when he presented it to her it was almost like the way he was talking to her he was treating her like a child. did anyone else see that?

Love,
K

Ummm, no, because he didn't talk to her like a child at all.  It's too bad you don't like the Dean episodes anymore, they're extremely important to the formation of Rory's character.  I, too, love the Jo/Nancy McKeon reference.  I do think that Richard was out of line to say Rory couldn't have the car.  One of the reasons Lorelai has so many issues with her parents is because they treat her like an incapable imbecile half the time.  She stood up for herself, though, but Richard played the sympathy card.  I like how Paris visits Stars Hollow on the same day as Richard.

[emsly]

the car fight i also liked this part:

richard: how tall r u?
dean: y? do u want to dance?
richard: no but thank u

ah i love that part! I usually don't like Dean, but when he said "Why? You wanna dance?" I laughed out loud.
Cute episode.