Do you feel like you are left out of the ORG Forum?

[kilverstone]

What Sooks said! You have to find the threads that you want to check daily and pretty much leave the rest. There are simply too many discussions and posts at any one time to keep up on them all. Find a little niche that suits you and you'll do great. 

[steph_]

And you'll great new people who will love ya!

[Devilina07]

If you're not happy here with the way things are (and have been for many years it sounds like) then you're free to find another Gilmore Girls forum out there. I know there are many to be had! It's just easier for the amount of members that this forum has, to keep things organized and 'tiddy' if they request that people search for a thread before making their own, post in the correct threads and things like that. It's not because anyone doesn't like you or that you're not welcome to post things. I'm sorry that you're not happy here and that you're frustrated with the way things are, but you're welcome to go to another forum that you may feel more welcomed to as well! But do try to post in the appropriate threads, I think if you try that, you'll be pleasently surpirsed at the response that you may receive! It's a great place really...just give it another try~

I think there needs to be a balance.  I've seen some established members get snippy with newbies.  Newbies need to look through the board first and those of us who have been here for a bit need to be a bit more helpful when it comes to directing people to the right place.  Simply saying that "This post doesn't go here, it goes here" without giving any sort of link isn't helpful at all.  Perhaps with the influx of new members, some people's patience is being tried.  Nevertheless, coutesy goes a long way.  And I mean that for both sides.  I've seen how snarkiness has destroyed a board I helped moderate.  I'd hate to see that happen again.

[steph_]

Well what I say is that the most common thing people do that makes them feel left out is that they see ppl chatting but they are afraid to join in. What I say--- JOIN IN!!! its simple, and you make tons of new friends *wink Melanie*

[flex151]

YES, I feel left out of this forum! Like just now, I posted in the GENERAL DISCUSSION SECTION a question about an episode. This is the general discussion thread! You can talk about anything on the show here! And some uppity moderator tells me to post this in the Q&A thread. I swear to GOD these people make me want to commit suicide! "No, not this thread, your rant about Lorelai's hair color belongs in the "Rants about Lorelai's Hair" thread, I'm sorry, I know that your new." GRRRR.

Whoa, that's pretty intense. Have you considered taking deep breaths? Talking to someone about it? Laying off the Red Bulls?

I agree that some of our members can be rude and impatient with new people who aren't familiar with the rules. And Devilina is right, frequently I see people directing newbies to other threads yet not providing the link to the thread. And the search engine is a helpful tool, however I myself have used it to look for threads I know exist but can't find and had it give me empty results. What I think is important to remember is that while we do want to keep the forum organized, we don't want to bully/scare away new members. I want this forum to continue growing. We get new people every day, and I don't want them to hesitate to join discussions and conversations because we have them all freaked out about being chastised or snarked for making an honest mistake.

That being said, I joined the forum in July of last year, and I waited a few days to post anything. I wanted to take the time to look around the forum first. I read the rules, I searched for character threads, I browsed around the Community Center. And even so, once I started posting I opened two duplicate threads (one for Taylor, one for Michel). Luckily no one got on my case about it, and actually Heidi directed me to where they had been merged so that I could continue my discussion there. Had members jumped down my throat about it I probably wouldn't have returned to the ORG. And that would have been a shame, because I have made friends with some truly delightful people, and had the opportunity to take part in some amazing discussions about the show here. And I'd like to think that I've added something to the forum which other members appreciate.

Making new members feel welcome is important. A duplicate thread can always be merged or deleted. Is it really worth alienating someone who could end up being a great member and friend just because they unknowingly broke a rule?

[lessa]

Maybe if the mods put on tour guide hats!

It's true the mods sometimes get snippy, but their advice can be helpful. If you air your opinion in the right spot, it's like striking gold the way people who want to talk about it will respond. If you post in the wrong thread, how will they find you?

I'm guilty of the no-thread directions, too, but no more. At least as soon as I figure out how to post a link.

I've been having a bit of a bellicose week, arguing for the sake of arguing, and I'm here to say I'm sorry to anyone I've shouted out of a thread or discouraged from posting. My physical life has been a bit stressful lately, but I ever meant to take it out on the forum!

[LovesToRead]

I have had a really good experience here so far and I think one of the keys to that was the first thing I did after registering was I went to find the rules thread (which can be found here-> ORG Forum Guidelines and Annoucements).  There is also a tips and suggestions thread for newbies (here->New to GilmoreGirls.org? Here's a Few Tips!) that is a good read if you are interested in posting etiquette.

As long as you follow the rules and contribute to the discussion, I have found that this is a really great place to discuss Gilmore Girls.

[steph_]

Why "lovestoread" yuu certainly are right! this is a great palce! welcome

[roryluv]

YES, I feel left out of this forum! Like just now, I posted in the GENERAL DISCUSSION SECTION a question about an episode. This is the general discussion thread! You can talk about anything on the show here! And some uppity moderator tells me to post this in the Q&A thread. I swear to GOD these people make me want to commit suicide! "No, not this thread, your rant about Lorelai's hair color belongs in the "Rants about Lorelai's Hair" thread, I'm sorry, I know that your new." GRRRR.

Whoa, that's pretty intense. Have you considered taking deep breaths? Talking to someone about it? Laying off the Red Bulls?

I agree that some of our members can be rude and impatient with new people who aren't familiar with the rules. And Devilina is right, frequently I see people directing newbies to other threads yet not providing the link to the thread. And the search engine is a helpful tool, however I myself have used it to look for threads I know exist but can't find and had it give me empty results. What I think is important to remember is that while we do want to keep the forum organized, we don't want to bully/scare away new members. I want this forum to continue growing. We get new people every day, and I don't want them to hesitate to join discussions and conversations because we have them all freaked out about being chastised or snarked for making an honest mistake.

That being said, I joined the forum in July of last year, and I waited a few days to post anything. I wanted to take the time to look around the forum first. I read the rules, I searched for character threads, I browsed around the Community Center. And even so, once I started posting I opened two duplicate threads (one for Taylor, one for Michel). Luckily no one got on my case about it, and actually Heidi directed me to where they had been merged so that I could continue my discussion there. Had members jumped down my throat about it I probably wouldn't have returned to the ORG. And that would have been a shame, because I have made friends with some truly delightful people, and had the opportunity to take part in some amazing discussions about the show here. And I'd like to think that I've added something to the forum which other members appreciate.

Making new members feel welcome is important. A duplicate thread can always be merged or deleted. Is it really worth alienating someone who could end up being a great member and friend just because they unknowingly broke a rule?

deep breaths and red bull joke was not needed people who talk like that can be serious you shouldn't joke like that to them it could upset them more i was a cutter so i know you may hurt their feelings more try being more sympathetic.....i understand where people feel left out and joining in doesn't always simply solve the problem peopl can be picky and not talk to everyone i at least try to be polite to everyone even of we don't chit chat for hrs

[AussieGGFan]

I agree though... If people are new and they are feeling left out a little,find somewhere you really can jump in and start posting away. I have found some new friends already since i have been posting here,and i only really post in about 5 threads regularily and the episode forums of course!

[steph_]

Ye, and you make new friends. Even if yu feel left out join a thread,go " Hey guys! wahts up? I'm new and my name is "Bob." What r u guys talking about?"
And there you go, you made a new friend lol.
But make sure ppl are on first.

[gilmoreren]

I'm quite familiar with forums and found myself getting a little confused on here. I suppose there could have been an intro message or something. And I have had more 'experienced' members correct me in a less than pleasant way on here, but luckily I'm a big girl and didn't take it personally. I saw that in some cases, people don't always consider if their words are likely to offend or not.

I do think that, on the whole, this is a friendly place - just that some more guidance and direction might be nice. And some more Brits to beef up our UK thread!!

[steph_]

gilmoreren, im sure those words werent intended, im sure they meant it in a nice way, but netherthelss, im happy that you are a big girl! Have fun! xox, and if you feel left out, feel free to PM meh1

[Courtney1983]

Hey, now I REALLY don't want to start a big thing here, but people have been approaching me with the idea that the ORG has formed a bunch of "cliques" and I was just wondering if anyone else noticed. I mean, I see the point in people forming these groups like Middies Kiddies Oldies, lol, but I don't think we should leave anyone out of these groups if they want to be included. I understand that you guys just basically talk about your lives in there, and especially in Kiddies a lot of star posting occurs, (sorry guys!) but I think we should all slow it down and try and be a bit more considerate when new people try and mesh into the group.

IMO we're doing great though guys, keep it up!!

~Cody

[flex151]

YES, I feel left out of this forum! Like just now, I posted in the GENERAL DISCUSSION SECTION a question about an episode. This is the general discussion thread! You can talk about anything on the show here! And some uppity moderator tells me to post this in the Q&A thread. I swear to GOD these people make me want to commit suicide! "No, not this thread, your rant about Lorelai's hair color belongs in the "Rants about Lorelai's Hair" thread, I'm sorry, I know that your new." GRRRR.

Whoa, that's pretty intense. Have you considered taking deep breaths? Talking to someone about it? Laying off the Red Bulls?
[...]

deep breaths and red bull joke was not needed people who talk like that can be serious you shouldn't joke like that to them it could upset them more i was a cutter so i know you may hurt their feelings more try being more sympathetic.....i understand where people feel left out and joining in doesn't always simply solve the problem peopl can be picky and not talk to everyone i at least try to be polite to everyone even of we don't chit chat for hrs

I absolutely disagree with you. I think it was needed. javajunkie93's statement was meant to exaggerate her frustration with the forum. I don't think that my pointing out that she was being a little too dramatic was unsympathetic. Had she been seriously bringing up that fact that she felt suicidal, or had any other desires to harm herself in any way, I wouldn't dare make light of it or imply that it was funny. But she wasn't. She was complaining about being directed to post in appropriate discussion threads.

I would think that someone such as yourself who has been through a difficult time and used a harmful coping mechanism could tell the difference between someone sincerely stating that they felt that way and someone using a slightly inappropriate phrase as hyperbole in their statement.

If you had read the rest of my post, which I have a feeling you didn't, you'd know my thoughts on treating new members with kindness and respect. I don't need you to direct me to do so.

Hey, now I REALLY don't want to start a big thing here, but people have been approaching me with the idea that the ORG has formed a bunch of "cliques" and I was just wondering if anyone else noticed. I mean, I see the point in people forming these groups like Middies Kiddies Oldies, lol, but I don't think we should leave anyone out of these groups if they want to be included. I understand that you guys just basically talk about your lives in there, and especially in Kiddies a lot of star posting occurs, (sorry guys!) but I think we should all slow it down and try and be a bit more considerate when new people try and mesh into the group.

I definitely have a group of people who I feel close to on the forum, and we get together in the Singles thread and chat (perhaps we are a "clique"). I haven't been a member for that long, and when I joined the forum and started joining discussions it did take a while for me to form those bonds. I think some members want this to be immediate, but no friendship happens instantly. It will naturally take time. I love when new members randomly join discussions. Like steph is suggesting, just jump in there and say "Hi". I've made several new friends within the last few months who I met that way. Though I will admit, if I get a bad vibe from someone I will ignore their posts. But I think that goes without saying. Otherwise, I am more than happy to welcome new people.