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Transcript: Double Date ...

Written by: Amy Sherman-Palladino
Directed by: Lev L. Spiro


[Lorelai and Luke walking down the street]

LUKE: You are an amazing woman

LORELAI: Thank you for noticing.

[Luke and Emily at hospital]

GRANDMA: So what exactly is going on between the two of you?

LUKE: Weíre friends, thatís it.

GRANDMA: Youíre idiots. The both of you.

[Rory and Lane. Lane in a band uniform]

RORY: I have to get to the bus stop. Deanís meeting me there.

LANE: But Iím trying to talk to you about this.

[Jackson, Lorelai and Sookie at a market]

JACKSON: Youíre sneaking around behind my back buying somebody elseís strawberries!

SOOKIE: I needed the strawberries!

[Lane and Rory in Gilmore kitchen]

LANE: I get jealous sometimes. I mean you seem to have this really great life going and I donít really fit in there.

RORY: Lane Iím so sorry. Iíve been the worst friend lately.

[Sookie and Jackson in Lukeís]

SOOKIE: A zucchini tush!

JACKSON: Just a temporary name.

SOOKIE: You want me to serve my customers a genetically engineered vegetable thatís named after a butt?

[Lane and Rory in Amish costumes]

LANE: So, once you get settled with Dean, do you think you could ask him about Todd?

RORY: Oh, absolutely.

LORELAI: When did you become the relationship expert, you havenít been in a relationship in years. Wow -

JACKSON: Iím not even gonna charge you for these. I am not going to profit off the death of creativity. I would rather starve myself than know that my food was paid for by the lowered expectations of the American public.

SOOKIE: Jackson?


SOOKIE: would you like to have dinner sometimeÖwith me?



[alarm rings]

RORY: Mom!

[Lorelai comes into the kitchen, takes the coffee pot off the maker while Rory puts her coffee cup in itís place to catch the coffee thatís still in the process of being made. Rory puts two pop tarts in the toaster, takes her coffee cup from the coffee maker while Lorelai replaces it with the pot.

Lorelai puts the pop tarts on a paper towel while Rory picks up her school bag. Lorelai hands Rory a pop tart and with coffee and pop tart in hand, tries to tie her shirt. Rory hands her her coffee, puts the tart in her mouth and ties it for Lorelai. Lorelai takes the clip out of Roryís hair, gives her a 'what were you thinking' look and tosses it aside. Rory takes her coffee back and they both leave.]


[Rory and Lane are sitting on the couch]

RORY: Wow, you went new-cd crazy! [dumping a bag full of cdís on the coffee table]

LANE: They just had an amazing selection today.

RORY: The best of BlondieÖKraftwerkÖYoung Marble GiantsÖYoko Ono - really?

LANE: A very misunderstood artist and the Beattles wouldíve broken up anyways.

RORY: Have you shared this theory with anyone?

LANE: I know it, Yoko knows it, Sean knows it. Julianís still in denial but what can you do?

RORY: Ok, I must listen to anyone named Claudine Longet [puts cd in player]


RORY: Yes Lane?

LANE: I have a favor to ask you.

RORY: Uh huh?

LANE: Well you know Dean?

RORY: My boyfriend?

LANE: Yes.

RORY: Yes I do.

LANE: Ok, well remember I was telling you about his friend Todd?

RORY: Todd. Yes.

LANE: Have you met him?


LANE: Well heís cool.

RORY: Good.

LANE: Really cool.

RORY: Good again.

LANE: Really, really cool.

RORY: Good still holds.

LANE: So cool in fact that it brings me to the next question

[Lorelai comes into living roomp]

LORELAI: Hey. Iím studying in thereÖ

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: Yeah. I have like 6,000 pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomena coming up on Friday and because I have a life and a job and business schoolís not the only thing I have to concentrate on Iím behind, and Iíll probably fail and then that little 18 year old annoying knat who sits behind me will get another ĎAí and make that Ď Iím smart youíre dumbí fact to me for the rest of the week and Iíll be very upset and will possibly cry.

RORY: The musicís too loud.


RORY: Got it.

LORELAI: Thank you [Lorelai turns and goes back into the kitchen as Rory turns down the volume.]

LANE: So anyhow, I was wondering if you could talk to Dean about maybe talking to Todd about me.

RORY: I guess.

LANE: And then maybe you could ask Dean to ask him out - for me.

RORY: Good, cause I donít think Dean would want to go out with Todd. Might screw up their friendship.

LANE: And then I was thinking that this date could maybe happen this weekend.

RORY: Huh.

LANE: Sunday preferably.

RORY: Well -

LANE: After church.

RORY: Lane -

LANE: But donít mention church.

RORY: Ok, hold on a sec -

LANE: Unless heís into church.

[Lorelai comes into the living room again]

LORELAI: Hey, uh, now itís too quiet.

RORY: Iíll turn it up.

LORELAI: Thank you [starts to leave]


LANE: So what do you think?

LORELAI: [turning back] Who the hell is that anyways?

RORY: Claudine Longet.

LORELAI: The chick who shot the skier?

RORY: Uh, sure, why not.

LORELAI: Wow - renaissance woman [turns and leaves]

RORY: [to Lane] You want me to set you up with Todd?

LANE: Yes and I was thinking that you and Dean could come out with us so

that itís not that big of a deal.


LANE: You donít want to do it?

RORY: No I -

LANE: Thatís ok, I understand - no big deal. Hey Grand Daddy new album used - I love a bargain.

RORY: I just really donít know this Todd guy.

LANE: I do.

RORY: Youíve met him twice

LANE: But the 3rd timeís a charm

RORY: How do you know this guyís right for you?

LANE: I know, Iím telling you. Weíre talking soul mate here.

RORY: The last time you met you soul mate, you ran your fingers through his hair and ended up hiding at my house for the evening.

LANE: Well I still have my key.

RORY: Lane?

LANE: Look, I made a mistake with Rich Bloomenfeld. Everybodyís allowed one mistake. But Todd, Todd is different.

RORY: Hi is?

LANE: First of all his name is Todd - Different name different guy [Lorelai come back into living room]

LORELAI: Ok so, [turning off music] how important is this whole business school thing anyway? I mean, so what if I never run my own inn? I like my job, I like my house, I like my life. And I certainly donít want to be one of those people whoís never satisfied with what they have you know? I mean some people donít have legs or arms. I have legs and arms. What more could I possibly want than legs and arms? I mean, I could take all the classes in the world, thatís still not going to give me what I already have.

RORY: Legs and arms.

LORELAI: Yes. [pause] Am I sounding completely crazy?

RORY: Yes you are.

LORELAI: Wal-Mart is boring!

RORY: Study!

LORELAI: Aah! [leaves]



LANE: Rory?


LANE: Really?

RORY: Yes, Yoko [they hug]

LORELAI: So [she comes and sits between the two and taps their legs] Whatcha doing?


[Lorelai is sitting at front desk studying. Michel comes up to her and stares at her]

LORELAI: Yes Michel?

MICHEL: I apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing your future employment but your current one is experiencing a problem.

LORELAI: And once again I say 'Yes Michel?'

MICHEL: Are you sure you wouldnít like me to wait?

LORELAI: No Michel.

MICHEL: Because learning the eating patterns of the average Taco Bell consumer is a vital lesson that -

LORELAI: Michel. What do you want?

MICHEL: We are overbooked.

LORELAI: How are we overbooked?

MICHEL: Well there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in.

LORELAI: I donít understand this.

MICHEL: Well I cannot describe it any simpler than I already have.

LORELAI: Well where did the Ruckerís come from?

MICHEL: Well judging from their clothing a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formal wear.

LORELAI: Ok, put them in the Jefferson suite tonight, move them back to their previously booked room tomorrow and offer them dinner on the house for the inconvenience.

MICHEL: Very well.

LORELAI: Iím gonna get some more coffee if you need me.

MICHEL: Iíll try and manage while youíre gone, though God knows it wonít be easy.

LORELAI: (entering kitchen) Coffee?



SOOKIE: Necesito las hojas grandes.

LORELAI: Oh! Meringue.

SOOKIE: Yeah, I thought Iíd do a variation on a baked Alaska for dessert tonight.

LORELAI: What kind of variation?

SOOKIE: See I hadnít thought of that yet.

LORELAI: Maybe you could do them in the actual shape of Alaska.

SOOKIE: Interesting.

LORELAI: Or you could do little baked Alaskas and Hawaiis

SOOKIE: Because they joined the union last.

LORELAI: Exactly.

[Sookie giggles]

JACKSON: Oh [coming in the door]

SOOKIE: Jackson.

JACKSON: Sookie - hello.

SOOKIE: Hello.


JACKSON: I brought you um -

SOOKIE: [stuttering] Yeah, well great. Just put them down there.

[Lorelai watching the exchange]

JACKSON: Right. Oh, yes [puts carrots on the counter] Howís that?

SOOKIE: Thatís great, thatís just perfect. I really like them there.

JACKSON: Yeah they - they do look good there donít they?

SOOKIE: Yes they do.

JACKSON: Ok. Well I should - [turns to leave]

SOOKIE: Uh, squash.


SOOKIE: I need some.

JACKSON: Squash.

SOOKIE: Pattypan

JACKSON: Ok, tomorrow?

SOOKIE: Same time?

JACKSON: If thatís good for you?

SOOKIE: It is, itís perfect.

JACKSON: Ok then, I-Iíll see you tomorrow with the pattypan.

SOOKIE: Great.

JACKSON: Yes. [leaves]

[Sookie rolls her eyes]

LORELAI: Ok soÖwho walked in on who naked?

SOOKIE: Oh God this is horrible! He comes in and - horrible.

LORELAI: Whatís going on between you two?

SOOKIE: I asked him if heíd like to have dinner sometime.

LORELAI: I know - weeks ago.

SOOKIE: And he said yes.

LORELAI: Which is good.

SOOKIE: But since thereís not definite plan or date attached, now the invitation is just out there floating in the universe.

LORELAI: So make a definite plan.

SOOKIE: I canít.


SOOKIE: Because what if he says no?

LORELAI: He already said yes.

SOOKIE: Yes to the amorphous, theoretical, 'Letís maybe sometime go out and do something not too specific' proposition. But dinner and a movie - itís concrete. Itís real, he might say no.

LORELAI: I doubt he will.

SOOKIE: Well why hasnít he asked me?

LORELAI: I donít know, maybe he thinks youíve changed your mind since you asked.

SOOKIE: Well why would he think that?

LORELAI: Because you havenít mentioned it again.

SOOKIE: But I mentioned it once, itís his turn.

LORELAI: Alright, letís say it is his turn, you can spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for him to realize itís his turn, or you can just run with the wolves and make it your turn again.

SOOKIE: I donít want it to be my turn again.

LORELAI: You just wanna let this opportunity pass?

SOOKIE: I wanna be the girl.

LORELAI: You are the girl. Thatís why weíre having this very confusing conversation.

SOOKIE: You think I should ask him out?

LORELAI: On Sunday.

SOOKIE: Why Sunday?

LORELAI: Because thatís your day off.




LORELAI: I think you should do it now before you lose your nerve.

SOOKIE: Well heís not back to his office yet.

LORELAI: Does he have a cell phone?


LORELAI: You know people buy cell phones for exactly this reason - so you could get a hold of them anytime you want. SOOKIE: I thought people bought cell phones in case their cars broke down at night and they needed to call someone for help and thereís psycho killers -

LORELAI: Call him.

SOOKIE: Call him?

LORELAI: Call him Sookie.

SOOKIE: Call him [giggles]

[They go over to the phone]

LORELAI: Mmm, she knows his number by heart.

SOOKIE: He is my produce guy.

LORELAI: Very convenient excuse.

SOOKIE: He - [into the phone] Oh Jackson? Itís Sookie. [picks up a wooden spoon and plays with it in her hair] I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a chance, sooner rather than later, itís not an emergency so donít freak out or anything. The carrots still look good. It seems like itís almost a shame to eat them, sort of like you should put them in a vase or -

LORELAI: [whispers] Sookie, hang up. Hang up.

SOOKIE: Call me, bye. [giggles] Got his voice mail.

LORELAI: Ok good. It give you time to prepare what youíre going to say. Maybe have a few suggestions ready of places to go.

SOOKIE: Date prep time.


SOOKIE: Ok good. Iím good at that. Iím good at prep. [picks up a pad of paper]

LORELAI: SookieÖÖspoon. [takes spoon away.]

SOOKIE: Right.


[Rory sitting on a bench reading. Dean come out, sees her and goes and sits with her]

DEAN: Is there anything in there about me?

RORY: I donít know. You name wouldnít be Lithium would it?

DEAN: Arenít you supposed to be in school?

RORY: We had a half day today - teacher conferences. So I thought Iíd come by and surprise you.

DEAN: Well you know how much I hate surprises.

RORY: Yes, Iím very sorry.

[Dean kisses her]

DEAN: Thatís for surprising me.

RORY: I have learned my lesson.

[Dean kisses her again. Rory stops him after a second]

RORY: I have to talk to you about something.

DEAN: Ok, I have to talk to you about something too. Come here [ kisses her again]

RORY: Ok stop.

DEAN: Sorry. [leans in to kiss her again]

RORY: No stay!

DEAN: Why?

RORY: Because I really need to talk to you about something.

DEAN: [sighs] Alright.

RORY: Itís about Todd.

DEAN: What about him?

RORY: What do you think of him?

DEAN: Heís my friend.

RORY: I know.

DEAN: So that would signify a positive impression.

RORY: Right. Ok. Good.

DEAN: Yes, can I kiss you now?

RORY: Iím not done yet.

DEAN: Fine. Go ahead.

RORY: Well you know Lane.

DEAN: Yeah, I do.

RORY: She likes Todd.


RORY: And I think that they would really hit it off.

DEAN: You - you donít even know Todd.

RORY: No but you do. And you like him - you said so.

DEAN: I did.

RORY: Ok then. There you go.

DEAN: I would - I would really like to kiss you now.

RORY: Yeah so would I.

DEAN: Ok, good. We agree [leans in for a kiss while she leans back]

RORY: I think we should set them up.

DEAN: Todd and Lane?

RORY: Yeah. We could all go out together - like to a movie or something on Sunday.

DEAN: Rory -

RORY: It would be really casual - no big deal.

DEAN: I just -

RORY: What?

DEAN: I mean, Iím just not sure that I see them together.

RORY: You donít think Todd would like Lane?

DEAN: Iím not sure.

RORY: Lane is great.

DEAN: Yeah, I know.

RORY: Sheís my best friend.

DEAN: Yeah, I-I know that.

RORY: Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her.

DEAN: I didnít mean -

RORY: I mean I canít believe that you donít think that sheís good enough -

DEAN: [over Rory] No, no, no -

RORY: or I donít know pretty enough.

DEAN: I didnít say anything about her not being pretty enough -

RORY: Well you did -

DEAN: Let me finish. I just donít know if heíll like her because I donít know what kind of girl he likes.

RORY: Well -

DEAN: But if you want to do this, then Iíll talk to him.

RORY: You will?

DEAN: Yeah.

RORY: And youíll mention Sunday?

DEAN: I will mention Sunday.

RORY: Thank you.

DEAN: Youíre welcome. SoÖwas that it?

RORY: Yeah that was it.

DEAN: Then can weÖ

RORY: Kissing. Right, letís go.

[they kiss]


[Lorelai still studying]

LORELAI: [slamming book] I give up.

MICHEL: Thatís the spirit.

LORELAI: I canít remember any of this crap.

MICHEL: Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park.

LORELAI: Youíre baiting me arenít you?

MICHEL: No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude.

SOOKIE: [rushing up to desk] He called! He called!


SOOKIE: Well, I did what you said. I had it all worked out and I asked him if heíd like to go to dinner at Chez Fleur on Sunday.

LORELAI: Chez Fleur very nice.

SOOKIE: Hm, thank you. He said he would love to.

LORELAI: Oh great!

SOOKIE: He said he would love to but his cousinís in town and heís staying with him for the week.

LORELAI: Oh, well then just make it next week.

SOOKIE: Yes, see that wouldíve been a good option had I thought of it when I was on the phone, but instead - I came up with another option.

LORELAI: Which is?

SOOKIE: That we double date with his cousin Rune and you.


SOOKIE: Yes, ok, not as good as your option I agree. But it seemed pretty good at the time - though I wasnít standing here watching you make that face.

LORELAI: Sookie no. I hate blind dates.

SOOKIE: I know, but this isnít a blind date. This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson.


SOOKIE: Lorelai please. Iíll be your best friend.

LORELAI: You are my best friend.

SOOKIE: And youíre mine.

LORELAI: I know I am.

SOOKIE: So what are best friends for?



LORELAI: Yes, Iíll go.

SOOKIE: [squeals] Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will not regret this.

LORELAI: Pick another phrase.

SOOKIE: You will not have to pay

LORELAI: Much better [sighs] Oh shut up [ to Michel whoís smiling. Opens up book again]



RORY: What?

LORELAI: Diva Glam.

RORY: Iíve got it.

LORELAI: Bring it up. [to Sookie] Hold still.

SOOKIE: Not too much.

LORELAI: No - just enough to say Ďhey sailorí

SOOKIE: My stomach doesnít feel so great. I think Iíve got the flu.

LORELAI: I think youíre nervous.

[Rory comes into room]

RORY: Here.

LORELAI: Thank you.

RORY: I need the sparkly hair clips

LORELAI: Ok, Iíll find them in a minute.

RORY: [to Sookie] You look pretty.


RORY: Uh huh. [leaves]

SOOKIE: Oh thank you. [to Lorelai] I should cancel.

LORELAI: Ok, letís do you lips first.

SOOKIE: What if Iím making an idiot out of myself.

LORELAI: By going out on a date?

SOOKIE: With my produce guy.

LORELAI: You like him.

SOOKIE: But what if tonight is a disaster and them he wonít sell to me anymore.

LORELAI: Oh my God, youíre right.

SOOKIE: Yes, see!

LORELAI: And since all the produce in the entire world is in his possession and all the produce that will be grown in the future will be in his possession, then we will never again be able to get any produce and all our vegetarian clients will die.

SOOKIE: Iím scared.

LORELAI: I know.

SOOKIE: I like him.

LORELAI: He likes you.

SOOKIE: How do you know heís not being polite?

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: No I mean it. [gets up and paces] Itís like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes.

LORELAI: He did not have to say yes.

SOOKIE: Oh my God. Technically I am his employer.

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: I am, I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on my.

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: Oh! Iím a sexual harasser

LORELAI: Well then you need some false eyelashes.

SOOKIE: This isnít funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal.

LORELAI: Ok, stop talking.


LORELAI: No you have exhauster all you talking rights by being crazy. Sit down and listen.

[Sookie sits]

LORELAI: Tonight is a good thing. Whether you find out that youíre madly in love you or youíre not meant for each other, itís still a good thing. And Iíll be right there. And have I done a gorgeous job on your face or what? Ooh, Iíll be right back [picking up clips]


[Rory and Lane getting ready]

LANE: Youíre sure you donít mind?

RORY: Whatís mine is yours.

LANE: I owe you forever.

RORY: Good to know.

LANE: Which one do you think Todd would like better? [holding up two jackets]

RORY: I donít know Todd.

LANE: I think the rhinestones.

RORY: Rhinestones it is. So what did you tell your mom?

LANE: I told her that I was going to spend the evening here with you guys.

RORY: What if she calls?

LANE: Well I mentioned that we might go and rent some videos or go out to eat which could explain any absence during her call. RORY: Very thorough.

LANE: With my mom, you can leave nothing to chance. Especially when there is a non-korean involved who as far as I know has no medical aspirations.

LORELAI: [coming into room] Hey, sparkly clips.

RORY: Thank you.

LORELAI: Ooh, I like the rhinestones. [leaves]

RORY: And for a touch of glamour. [putting them in Laneís hair]

LANE: So what are you going to tell Lorelai?

RORY: I donít know.

LANE: She wouldnít tell my mom would she?

RORY: I donít know if sheíd feel good lying to another mother. Itís like this weird code thing with her.

LANE: So we donít tell her?

RORY: Iím not liking that option either.

LANE: No. Weíll tell her that weíre meeting Dean for a movie, and then we go to the movie and then somebody who just happens to be a friend of Deanís, just happens to be there, for the same movie and so we figure that it would be completely rude for us to not ask said person to come sit with us.

RORY: I say to hell with governor, you run directly for president.

LANE: Itís not that bad.

RORY: Letís just not think about it, ok?

LANE: I really appreciate this.

RORY: I know.

LANE: How do I look?

RORY: You look too good for him.

LANE: Just what I was going for. [giggles and they leave the room]

RORY: Weíre going [to Lorelai]

LORELAI: Oh, where?

LANE: Weíre going to a movie with Dean.

LORELAI: Nothing dirty, violent or French please

RORY: Are you going to be home late?

LORELAI: Well thereís a bit of doubt as to whether or not weíll ever actually get out of the house at all tonight. Sookie please!

SOOKIE: Ok! Iím here, Iím down [coming down the stairs]

LORELAI: Wow! Hey, whereís your coat?

SOOKIE: Itís upstairs.

LORELAI: Arenít you gonna need it?

SOOKIE: Oh well, it got caught around the thing, and then when I twisted around to get loose, and then the choking started. Iím free now.

LORELAI: Ok. Iíll get you something to wear.

SOOKIE: I would appreciate that.

RORY: Bye.


SOOKIE: Bye kittens [girls leave]

LORELAI: Bye girls.

LORELAI: Huh? [with a blue shawl in hand]

SOOKIE: Oh this is beautiful.

LORELAI: It goes with the theme of the evening.

SOOKIE: This is a really nice thing youíre doing for me.

LORELAI: Anytime Sookie.

SOOKIE: Last looks [Does a turn while Lorelai claps]

[knock on the door]

LORELAI: Iíll get it.

[Sookie exhales]


JACKSON: Hi Lorelai, sorry weíre late.

LORELAI: Oh no problem. Just adds a little more primping time for the ladies.

SOOKIE: Hi Jackson

JACKSON: Sookie, hi






LORELAI: Ok, uh do you guys wanna come in for a minute?

JACKSON: Oh sure. [they enter] Oh, uh Lorelai, this is my cousin Rune, Rune this is Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hi, itís very nice to meet you [extends hand but Rune doesnít take it]

RUNE: Can I talk to you a minute?

JACKSON: Whatís the matter?

RUNE: I need a minute alone, please?

JACKSON: Excuse us. [Rune takes Jackson outside]

JACKSON: What are you doing?

RUNE: Thatís Lorelai?


RUNE: Did you see how tall she is?

JACKSON: No, I havenít noticed actually.

RUNE: How could you not notice, sheís like a basketball player.

JACKSON: Rune, sheís a very nice lady!

RUNE: You know I cannot go out with anyone that tall. I mean God! I canít believe you set me up with that. What, was the bearded lady busy tonight or something?

[Sookie and Lorelai, who are listening, exchange a look]

JACKSON: Itís just one night, a little dinner.

RUNE: When she came to the door it never crossed my mind that that was who I had to spend the evening with. I thought it was her east german maid or something.

JACKSON: Youíre being ridiculous, sheís not that tall!

RUNE: Sheís tall enough!

JACKSON: Would you keep it down, sheís gonna hear you!

RUNE: With those big ears I bet she can.

JACKSON: Hey Rune, you come into town completely unannounced, you eat all my food, you crash on my couch and I donít say a thing. The least you could do is go out for one night - make some conversation, be pleasant, who knows, maybe youíll enjoy it!

RUNE: But why canít we go out - just to the two of us.

JACKSON: Rune, please.

RUNE: [sighs] Ok.

JACKSON: Thank you [Both go back to the front door.] Ok, I think we should be going.

SOOKIE: Yes that sounds good.

[Lorelai looks at Rune, who turns away. She closes the door behind her.]


[All sitting in silence looking at the menu. Rune is staring at Lorelai, she forces a smile]

RUNE: What size shoe do you wear?

LORELAI: Uh, size 9.

RUNE: 9? Wow.

SOOKIE: I wonder if the mussels are fresh?

LORELAI: Um, well, it does say Ďfresh musselsí on the menu.

SOOKIE: Yes, but a lot of times they say Ďfreshí and theyíre not, theyíre frozen but theyíre just called Ďfreshí because they were fresh when they were frozen. [Jackson nodding and smiling at her] Plus if theyíre not stored with the correct drainage they just sit around in their own excretions, with is kind of like sitting around in your own -

LORELAI: Sookie, I beg of you, do not order the fresh mussels.

SOOKIE: But if theyíre fresh -

LORELAI: Even if theyíre fresh.

JACKSON: I wonder where they get their carrots from The carrot crop this year has been really mealy.

LORELAI: [sighs] SoÖRuneÖ

RUNE: Yes?

LORELAI: What is that - ĎRuneí ?

RUNE: What do you mean?

LORELAI: I mean, where did ĎRuneí come from?

RUNE: Iím from out of town, I thought Jackson told you?

LORELAI: He did tell me, I meant the name ĎRuneí. You just donít meet a lot of ĎRunesí, right? [giggles a bit]

RUNE: It was my dadís name.

LORELAI: Oh, whereíd he get it?

RUNE: [annoyed] I donít know, from his parents I guess.

LORELAI: Ok, done with that topic [waiter approaches] Oh the waiter, thanks the Lord.

WAITER: What can I get you this evening?

SOOKIE: Iíd like to ask about the mussels, are they fresh?

WAITER: Yes they are.

JACKSON: And where exactly are your carrots from?

WAITER: Well -

RUNE: Is there anything on this menu that isnít French?

LORELAI: Iíll just have a martini and keepíem coming. [Waiter leaves]


[Table goes back to sitting in silence]


[Rory and Dean are in line. Sheís looking at Lane and Todd in line behind them.]

DEAN: What are you doing?

RORY: Nothing.

DEAN: Theyíre fine.

RORY: I am not looking at them. Iím looking at the world around me.

DEAN: The world is fine too.

RORY: I just want to make sure theyíre having fun.

DEAN: Theyíre having fun.

RORY: How do you know?

DEAN: Theyíre not in prison or in some sort of medieval torture chamber.

RORY: Well when you measure it that way -

[Pan to Lane and Todd]

LANE: And the amazing thing is, all these girls are screaming and none of them are getting the joke. Heís playing the character of a rock star. I mean Beck is a genius and all these stupid girls are screaming at him just because theyíre buying into the rock star image. I love Beck. I understand Beck. [looks at Todd nervously who doesnít say anything] And the Foo Fighters - Gods. I mean, have you heard the acoustic version of ĎEverlongí? I canít even talk about it you know? Hey, you know who Iíve really gotten into lately? The velvet underground. Oh and Nico - sheís amazing - Depressing scary german chick. I have the cd if you wanna borrow it sometime. Wh-what kind of music do you like?

TODD: I donít know - whatever.

LANE: Fugazi?

TODD: What?

LANE: The band on your shirt.

TODD: Oh. Huh, pretty cool picture.

LANE: You donít know whatís on your shirt?

TODD: Itís my sisterís.


[Rory looks over her shoulder intently. Lane gives her a forced smile.

Dean turns Roryís face forward.]

LANE: Well what about books? Do you like books?

TODD: Mmm. [shrugging]

LANE: Magazines? [Toddís silent] What about school? What are you majoring in?

TODD: I was thinking about gym.

LANE: Gym?

TODD: If I major in gym, I only have to take 4 classes my senior year.

LANE: Oh, cool

[Pan to Rory and Dean]

RORY: Gym?

DEAN: We work on our bikes together. Heís got the good tools.


[Rune yawning]

SOOKIE: [giggling] It was so funny. Oh God! Do you remember?

LORELAI: I remember.

SOOKIE: What was Rory, eight?

LORELAI: I believe she was.

SOOKIE: Oh god, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year! I mean, hers looked just like mine. Of course I used you know, homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used well, mud. You know, but they did look damn similar. Oh. [Rune is cutting the heads off of swans with his knife]

LORELAI: So, uh, Sookieís been experimenting with, um, different forms of baking ever since Iíve known her.

JACKSON: Oh, well, thatís very interesting.

SOOKIE: Yeah. Hey Lorelai, remember when I decided to teach you how to make strawberry tarts [Jackson looks bored] and the entire kitchen was stained red and I had to repaint that one wall red just to make it look normal? Do you remember? Wasnít it?

LORELAI: Mmm, it was. Sookie, letís go powder our noses.

RUNE: Youíll need a lot of powder.

LORELAI: Weíll be right back. Come on hon.

SOOKIE: Oh, ok.

[They get up and leave. Jackson give Rune a Ďwhat are you doing?í look]

LORELAI: Honey, no matter how many beers you buy me tonight, Iím not the one going home with you, so I would concentrate on the one who might.


LORELAI: You havenít said a word to Jackson all night.

SOOKIE: I havenít have I?


SOOKIE: I know. Iím just - Oh, Iím so nervous.

LORELAI: Youíre nervous? You donít have some guy staring at you like heís Cher and youíre the kid from ĎMaskí.

SOOKIE: I can - I canít think of anything to say.

LORELAI: To Jackson?

SOOKIE: Yes, to Jackson.

LORELAI: Yes, cause to me tonight thereís been no Ďoffí button.

SOOKIE: I-I just - ugh! This place is too fancy, my hair is too tight and this dress is all wrong. And he looks really good doesnít he?

LORELAI: Yes he does.

SOOKIE: Iím being crazy, I know Iím being crazy.

LORELAI: No. Youíre just putting too much pressure on this whole evening. Look, in five seconds I can take your hair down, we can go some place more casual and personally I think youíre wrong about the dress. SOOKIE: Really?

LORELAI: Yes. Come on. Letís got to Lukeís. You know, have burgers, talk, relax - no pressure, no stress, unless I wind up stepping on Rune which might be fun.

SOOKIE: That would be great.

LORELAI: Ok, come on.

SOOKIE: Alright.


[Lane and Todd are in a theater-like seating watching the movie]

LANE: Ok, what about movies, you must have a favorite movie.

TODD: Yes I do!

LANE: Great! What is it?

TODD: Beethoven.

LANE: Beethoven? The one with the dog?

TODD: Thereís this scene where this little dog is running around with a huge cabbage in itís mouth. Oh man, itís classic! I shot my Dr. Pepper right outta my nose! I swear!

[Lane forces another smile]


[The four enter]

RUNE: [sniffs] Ew.

LORELAI: Welcome to Lukeís.

JACKSON: Well this is much better.

SOOKIE: It is, isnít it?

LORELAI: Grab a seat, Iíll get some menus

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI: Hey, four menus, a coffee and an anvil please.

LUKE: Whatís the anvil for?

LORELAI: For Rune?

LUKE: Whatís a Rune.

LORELAI: Please not that question again.

LUKE: Ok. [gets coffee. Lorelai sighs and looks at them sitting in silence] Here you go.

LORELAI: Mind if I hang out here a sec?

LUKE: Why? Whatís going on over there?

LORELAI: Sookie and Jackson are on their first date.

LUKE: Seems to be going well.

LORELAI: I think Iíd wear blue to the wedding.

LUKE: Whoís the other guy?

LORELAI: Thatís Jacksonís cousin. Heís my date!

LUKE: Lucky girl!

LORELAI: Yes, I think so. He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the match up than I am.

LUKE: Youíre kidding, why?

LORELAI: Iím too tall.

LUKE: [laughs] Get out.

LORELAI: Iím serious.

LUKE: Doesnít he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf. LORELAI: Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you. [takes a sip of coffee] Mmm. Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee.

LUKE: Yeah?


LUKE: I added a little nutmeg.

LORELAI: Really?

LUKE: Yes.

LORELAI: Thatís very Richard Simmons of you.

LUKE: Well what can I say. Chicks dig a man with a feminine side.


RUNE: Ok [standing up] Iím really bored.

JACKSON: Sit down, weíre about ready to order.

RUNE: I donít wanna order, I donít wanna eat here. I wanna go.


RUNE: JacksonÖLook I came out with you tonight under the impression that Iíd have fun. First I get stuck with her, then I get dragged to a French restaurant, then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now.

LORELAI: Oh, youíre at Lukeís.

RUNE: Iíve been very patient Jackson. Sunday nightís almost over, I wanna go bowling.


RUNE: And Iíd like you to go bowling with me.

JACKSON: OhÖwell [looking at Sookie whoís looking at her hands] I guess we shouldÖ[starts to stand]

SOOKIE: Donít go!

JACKSON: Really?!

SOOKIE: Yes. Stay here. We havenít really even started our date yet.

JACKSON: No we havenít. Sorry Rune, youíre on your own tonight.

RUNE: Fine, Iíll just see you at home then - maybe [leaves]

LORELAI: Bye Loon! [looks over at the two] Finally.

LUKE: I guess youíll only need three menus now.

LORELAI: Hey, why donít you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there. Iíll have mine here.

LUKE: First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone. Nope. Too pathetic.

LORELAI: Iím not eating alone. Youíre here.

LUKE: Iím working.

LORELAI: Yeah but after three cheeseburgers youíre done, unless youíre expecting Elijah to stop by.

LUKE: Ok. Fine. [pulls out a deck of cards] 5-card draw.

LORELAI: Oh! Youíre on.

[Luke deals as Lorelai watches intently]

LORELAI: Mm-hm. Mm-hm [looks at her cards] UhÖhuh. Give me four. [looks at them again] Aah, no four more.

LUKE: You canít have four more, those are the four I dealt you.

LORELAI: Well these donít help me and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life - first Rune and now these four cards.

LUKE: Whatever you say [giving her another 4]

LORELAI: Ooh, much better, thank you.

LUKE: Rune knew when to run away.


[Sookie and Jackson are giggling]

LORELAI: God thatís nice.

LUKE: Yep.

LORELAI: The whole Ďfirst date, beginning of the relationshipí glow - everything is new and exciting.

LUKE: Every joke is hilarious.

LORELAI: Every little touch is incredible [touching Lukeís arm]

LUKE: Mm-hm.

LORELAI: God thatís a good feeling.

LUKE: It is at that.

LORELAI: I miss that.

LUKE: Youíll have it again.

LORELAI: MmmÖI guess.

[Mrs Kim sees Lorelai through the window]

LUKE: You know, maybe sometime we couldÖ

[Door slams]

MRS. KIM: Where are the girls?


MRS. KIM: Lane said sheís with you and Rory.

LORELAI: W - slow down.

MRS. KIM: I call - no answer, I think they are at the video store, I call again - no answer. I call a 3rd time - no answer!

LORELAI: You had a lot of time on your hands tonight.

MRS. KIM: I have to know where girls are.

LORELAI: They said they were going to a movie.

MRS. KIM: With who?

LORELAI: They were going to meet Dean.

MRS. KIM: A boy? [with disgust] You let them go with a boy?

LORELAI: Mrs. Kim, Dean is Roryís boyfriend.

MRS. KIM: Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesnít mean I let mine.

LORELAI: I thought you knew.

MRS. KIM: I didnít know! They could be anywhere, they could be doing anything. Smoking, or drinking or buying drugs!

LORELAI: Theyíre at the movies. Thereís no drugs there. They donít even have the real red vines.

MRS. KIM: I need to find them [leaves]

LORELAI: Iím coming with [leaves too]


TODD: Good flick, good flick.

DEAN: Yeah not bad.

RORY: Lane, whatíd you think?

LANE: Uh, I think itís really late and I should be getting home.

TODD: Really?

LANE: Yeah but itís been fun.

TODD: Oh come on. Letís go get some ice cream or something - eat it really fast, get that freezy brain thing going. Itís cool.

LANE: So tempting and yet -

MRS. KIM: LANE KIM!!! [shouting in Korean]

LANE: My mom!

RORY: My mom!

TODD: Two moms, thatís gotta be bad.

LANE: Mama, I was just about -

MRS. KIM: [shouting in Korean]

RORY: Mom, I can -

LORELAI: So not the time Rory.

MRS. KIM: You lied to me.

LANE: Iím sorry.

MRS. KIM: Get home right now! [leave]

TODD: Whoa, rough family.

DEAN: Whatís going on?

LORELAI: Oh bits of information were left out of the mom packets tonight.

RORY: Iím sorry.

LORELAI: Ok. Mother/daughter #2 are leaving now. Say bye Rory.

RORY: [to Dean] Bye.

DEAN: Iíll, uh call you later.


DEAN: Iíll call you tomorrow.

LORELAI: Yeah, bye Dean.

TODD: Thatís Roryís mom? Sheís a babe man!

LORELAI: [walking away] And what were you thinking?

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: You lied to me - me! What is that nonsense all about?

RORY: I shouldnít have done it. I know I shouldnít have done it.

LORELAI: Damn right you shouldnít have done it.

RORY: But Lane really wanted to go out with Todd, and of course she could tell her mother so I didnít tell you so you wouldnít have to lie for us.

LORELAI: You lied to me so I wouldnít have to lie to Mrs. Kim?

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Oh my God you really are my daughter.

RORY: Iím sorry.

LORELAI: I have to know where you are at all times, especially when you have my shoes on.

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: This whole trust thing only works if it goes both ways kid.

RORY: I hated doing it.


RORY: Would you have?


RORY: Lied for us?

LORELAI: To Mrs. Kim?

RORY: Yeah.


RORY: Why?

LORELAI: Because that ladyís scary.

RORY: Mom.

LORELAI: I canít lie to another mother. Thatís breaking the code.

RORY: So then what were we supposed to do tonight?

LORELAI: Look, I know that Mrs. Kim and Robert Duvall in ĎThe Great Santinií share a striking resemblance, but she is Laneís mom. She has the right to tell Lane she canít do something, you have to respect that and I really have to respect that.

RORY: So we were in a no-win situation tonight.


RORY: Great.

LORELAI: Sorry. [pause] Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this?

RORY: What?

LORELAI: [smiling] That Iím a babe.


[Rory climbed a tree to get to Laneís bedroom window. Knocks.]

LANE: Hey.

RORY: Whatís up Rapunzel?

LANE: Donít take this the wrong way, but in all my various fantasies about who might appear at this window, you never actually made the list.

RORY: So how are you? I havenít heard from you in days.

LANE: Iím ok, I guess.

RORY: I was afraid to call.

LANE: I think thatís best for now.

RORY: Your momís really mad huh?

LANE: The words Ďconventí and ĎSiberiaí were both used several times and at least once as a combo.

RORY: Iím really sorry Lane.

LANE: Itís not your fault.

RORY: I shouldnít have arranged it. I shouldíve -

LANE: You arranged it because I asked you to and Iím really glad you did.

RORY: You are?

LANE: If you hadnít set me up with Todd, then I would still be in love with him.

RORY: Not the guy for you huh?

LANE: Not the guy for anybody who can read, write, talk or function on a basic human level.

RORY: Iím sorry.

LANE: I was so bored that night I couldnít see straight. Iíve been on Korean meditation weekends that have had more laughs.

RORY: He liked you though, Dean told me.

LANE: I know, he called here.

RORY: Youíre kidding.

LANE: I pretended to be my mother and wouldnít allow me to speak to him. Is that mean?

RORY: [giggles] I think heíll survive. He and Dean went muffler shopping today.

LANE: Thatís nice.

RORY: So how long before you can get out?

LANE: I donít know. Right now I have to be in the house at all times except for school and church.

RORY: She didnít give you any time frame at all?

LANE: Nope.

RORY: I miss you.

LANE: I miss you too.

RORY: Is there anything I can do?

LANE: Yeah, donít tell anyone I went out with Todd ok?

RORY: [smiling] Promise

[They hear a noise]

LANE: I gotta go.

RORY: Bye.


MRS. KIM: [angrily]You break you buy!

MAN: But it was sticking out in the aisle.

MRS. KIM: You break you buy! [Lorelai comes in.]

MAN: But I didnít put it in the aisle.

MRS. KIM: You have eyes yes?

MAN: Yes I have eyes?

MRS. KIM: These eyes work?

MAN: Yes these eyes work.

MRS. KIM: They can make out shape, sizes and colors?

MAN: Yes they can do all that, but -

MRS. KIM: Eyes work! They see lamp in aisle, send message to brain. ĎLamp in aisle - move Ď You move. You donít break lamp.

MAN: I -

MRS. KIM: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break you buy

[Man give in and give her some money]

MRS. KIM: [all smiles and sweetly] We appreciate your business. [to Lorelai] Oh, hello

LORELAI: Hi. So I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you for a minute.

MRS. KIM: Iím working.

LORELAI: Right, well this is gonna be so quick youíll be amazed.

MRS. KIM: Fine, come. [goes into another room]

LORELAI: Look, Iím really sorry about what happened the other night, uh

Roryís never lied to me like that before.

MRS. KIM: That you know of.

LORELAI: Uh, no, Iím pretty sure that was the first time and it definitely was the last.

MRS. KIM: Fine.

LORELAI: Uh, so I just didnít want you to feel that you couldnít send Lane over to our house anymore, um, because you can. Believe me, those girls go nowhere without me knowing about it. In fact I was thinking of having some house arrest ankle bracelets made you know - maybe cute ones with leopard print or zebra stripes, maybe a little glitter designÖ

MRS. KIM: Lane wonít be coming over, she will stay in our house.

LORELAI: Well, right. I was talking about later. I mean, sheís not going to be grounded forever is she?

MRS. KIM: Lane lied to me and she must be punished. LORELAI: I totally agree. But Lane is a really good kid. I donít think Iíve ever met a kit who respects her parents more than Lane respects you.

MRS. KIM: Lying is not showing respect.

LORELAI: Uh, sheís 16. She had a crush on a boy.

MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable.

LORELAI: Ok, yes, youíre right. But teenagers sometimes slip up.

MRS. KIM: I donít care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does.

LORELAI: You know, it doesnít always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key.

MRS. KIM: I didnít throw away the key, itís in the kitchen.

LORELAI: [taken aback] Ok, well, I was talking symbolicallyÖbut alright, Iím with you now. Look when I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up. They tried to force me to become what they had in mind, and now Iím not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didnít work.

MRS. KIM: You blame your parents for getting pregnant.

LORELAI: No, I just think sometimes if Iíd had a little more space or someone to listen to me, things might have turned out different. Now I got lucky, because having Rory - totally the best thing that could have happened. But letís be honest, I certainly donít want Rory to turn out like me.

MRS. KIM: I donít want Lane to turn out like you either.

LORELAI: Now I believe thatís the first thing that you and I have ever agreed on.

MRS. KIM: I just want Lane to be safe.

LORELAI: I just want Rory to be safe. So, Iím gonna go now. Hey, I think you are doing a great job with Lane. Sheís a really great kid. I just wanted to put my two cents in because thatís what I do, so. Bye.

[walks out of room and breaks a vase on the way out]

LORELAI: I know, you break you buy. I heard earlier. Thatís $35 right?


[Lorelai and Rory enter]

RORY: An ĎA-í - Iím very impressed.

LORELAI: And annoying boy behind me?

RORY: Yes.


RORY: Loser.

LORELAI: I know, itís all very exciting. Ooh, hey did I tell you that

Sookie and Jackson have another date tonight.

RORY: What is that the third one this week?


RORY: Thatís so great.

LORELAI: I know it is. Of course if she tells me the story of how Jackson cultivates his own mealworms to help fertilize his plants one more time, Iím going to Romeo and Juliet them both.

RORY: Itís sweet.

LORELAI: Mealworms.

RORY: Gross, but sweet.

[Roryís pager goes off]

LORELAI: Hey, you know the rules. No pages before french fries.

RORY: Oh my God, itís Lane!

LORELAI: Oh youíre kidding.

RORY: Give me your cell phone quick.

LORELAI: Where are you going? I wanna hear.

RORY: Outside.


RORY: Because Luke hates cell phones.


RORY: I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke.

LORELAI: Why not itís fun.

RORY: Iíll be back.

LORELAI: Goody-goody. [Rory leaves]

[Outside Rory dials]

LANE: Rory?

RORY: Lane?

LANE: Iím standing in the yard! Iím standing in the yard!

RORY: Oh my God, she let you out!

LANE: I can go as far as the sign.

RORY: Thatís so great!

[Pan to inside]

LUKE: Hey.


LUKE: I havenít seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok?

LORELAI: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds - very exciting stuff.

LUKE: I bet. [pause] Oh, uh coffee?

LORELAI: Do you have to ask?

[Luke pours]

LORELAI: You know, I had a good time the other night - with the cards.

LUKE: Oh yeah, yeah - me too.


LUKE: Yeah, if fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to -

LORELAI: A chance to?

LUKE: Kick your ass in poker.

LORELAI: [laughs] You wish.

LUKE: Burger?

LORELAI: Two and fries.

LUKE: Maybe we could do it again sometime.

LORELAI: Oh yeah, well, I-I would like that.

[Rory rushes in]

RORY: Here.

LORELAI: Oh where ya going?

RORY: Laneís allowed outside for 15 minutes. Iím gonna go over and stand across the street and yell at her. [ rushes to the door]

LORELAI: Do you still want you burger?

RORY: Iíll be back [ closing door]

LORELAI: Yell Ďhií for me.

[Looks at Luke, then drinks her coffee.]

The End

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