Episode: One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes ...
Original Airdate: October 15, 2002
The diner. Rory and Lorelai are chowing down burgers while Lorelai rambles on and on about having weird premonitions about her own death. But all her deaths are silly and comedic, like slipping on a banana and drowning in whipped cream. Suddenly, Lane arrives all flustered and excited and announces that she’s super psyched because her band has four songs down and more are on the way. So it’s just a matter of time before they’ll score gig, a record deal and then break up over the trappings of fame. That’s all well and good but it still sucks that Lane has to lie to her ultra-strict mom and therefore uses the Gilmore girls as a cover for her clandestine drumming activities. Oh well, the girl is so darn happy, what can you do? Lane takes off as do Lorelai and Rory but not before they see Shane (aka Shane) arrive and make a beeline to Jess for a very public make-out session. Tramp!
Band practice: Lane and Co. are doing a cover of the Clash’s “London Calling.” But something is missing. And that something is the fact that they are so NOT rocking out. The music just ain’t loud enough. That’s because they are practicing in the music shop. Sure, it’s free rehearsal space but they have to be so quiet it’s not really work it. See, Mrs. Kim has freaky-deaky super hearing powers and can spot non-Christian music miles and miles away. Lane is terrified she’ll hear they’re rebellious devil music. But the boys in the band are fed up with keeping quiet. So they suggest renting a studio in Hartford. Hartford? Lane can’t go to Hartford. She’ll never be able to do that! She starts to officially freak out, so Dave drags her outside to talk some sense into her. He really wants her to stay in the band. It’s working so well. So she’s got to find a way to sneak off to Hartford two or three nights a week. Yeah, right. And while she’s at it, she can learn quantum physics or Sanskrit too.
Later, Lane calls Rory for help, but it seems like a hopeless sitch. Rory suggests that Lane actually come clean to her mother. Maybe, just maybe Lane could explain how much she loves to drum and how it doesn’t interfere with school and…Um, uh, well, Lane doesn’t really think that will work, but it’s worth a shot ‘cause she might have to give it up altogether anyway as sneaking away to Hartford is next to impossible.
Cut to chez Gilmore where Debbie Fincher, a local Stars Hollow woman, calls Lorelai. Lorelai is completely bewildered. Who is this woman and why is she calling? Rory tries to describe her but all Stars Hollow moms look alike. Rory used to be buds with Debbie’s daughter, Kathy, before Rory started Chilton. Turns out, Debbie is part of the PTA and wants Lorelai to speak to a class at the high school about being a successful businesswoman. Lorelai is flattered and accepts the offer. Then Debbie asks if she could get Luke to do it too. Apparently, Debbie has asked Luke before but he never accepts. Ah, well, if there’s anyone who can change his mind, it’s Lorelai.
Mustering up all her courage, Lane tries to do the impossible. She takes a deep breath and…begins a very awkward conversation with her mom. She begins to babble and babble but is cut off when Lane’s mom hands her a bunch of college applications to Christian schools that Lane has never heard of. Lane’s mom has even separated out the party schools, i.e. the ones that let boys and girls sit together in the cafeteria. Yikes! Lane is so shocked that she says nothing. Poor girl…staying in the band is suddenly the least of her problems.
Meanwhile, Lorelai is busy working on her little speech and getting not-so-subtley mocked by Michel. Then Luke calls and wants to back out of the whole thing but she won’t let him. But Luke doesn’t want to go back to his high school. It’s nothing but bad memories. He tries and tries but Lorelai won’t let him back out.
Okay, so Lane is officially freaking out. She’s just sick and tired of being afraid of her own mother. And she has to do something before her entire life is ruined. It’s time to take a stand. She decides the first thing to do is dye her hair. Why? Well, it’s a bold statement that she can’t hide or change or back out on once it’s done. Rory is concerned that her friend has gone off the deep end but eventually suggests purple hair dye. When they go to pay for it at the beauty store, guess who’s behind the counter? Shane. Rory is clearly uncomfortable. She’s practically turning green.
When Lorelai picks up Luke to go make their respective speeches, she forces him to change his clothes before they go. She makes him put on a nice button-down shirt and take off the baseball cap. He actually looks pretty nice. While Luke changes, Lorelai has a few moments alone with Jess before they bail. And she’s one intuitive lady ‘cause when Luke and Lorelai go to leave, she tells Luke that Jess has a girl in the closet. Say what?!
After making their purchase, Lane and Rory go to Lane’s place and begin the great transformation. Rory begins with the bleach but it stings Lane’s head like crazy. Lane tries to distract herself but the pain is overwhelming. Her head feels like it’s on fire! What should she do? In a panic, Lane runs around the block. Oh boy. We have a feeling this is going to turn into a major disaster. But it doesn’t…not yet anyway. Lane survives and has a head of blonde hair. Now it’s time for purple. As Rory works, she quizzes Lane on her feelings for Dave. After some denying, Lane admits she’s totally in love with him. She’s never felt this way about anyone before. She gets butterflies in her stomach every time they talk. Lane is so excited. She finally has a first love. Just like what Rory and Dean have. Whoa. That stops Rory in her tracks. She doesn’t let Lane know, but it’s clear to us that maybe Rory’s love for Dean isn’t as great and amazing as it should be. Maybe she doesn’t get butterflies anymore. Rory doesn’t want to acknowledge this of course, so she concentrates on the hair dye and keeps her mouth shut.
At Stars Hollow high school, Luke and Lorelai arrive to give their speeches. Lorelai goes first and her little talk slowly degenerates into an absolute disaster. See, she starts talking about what it takes to run an inn. But all the students know that Rory Gilmore is her daughter. So the kids start asking questions about her pregnancy and what it was like giving birth at age 16. The speech turns into talking about having Rory and how wonderful that is. Lorelia doesn’t regret it, which sends the totally wrong message about being a pregnant teen. Debbie, of course, doesn’t like this at all. She tells all the other Stars Hollow moms what happened and they all freak out because they think Lorelai told their daughters it was okay to get pregnant at 16! Puh-lease! Lorelai defends herself ‘cause the blonde brigade is totally out of line. And they need to loosen up. Lorelai has no problem telling them off because she will not be judged by this group of losers.
When it’s all said and done, Lane loves her hair. It’s manic panic purple and looks totally trippy. But when Lane’s mom comes home, Lane starts to really freak out. She can’t do this! It’ll kill her mom. The only thing to do is dye it back to black. Oh man. So Rory has to go back to the store and get black hair dye. NOW! Back at the store, Rory sees Shane again who is just happen to be talking on the phone to you know who. Rory gives the girl some major attitude (we’ve never seen her like this) because she just can’t stand the fact that Shane and Jess are together.
When Luke gets home, he has a TALK with Jess about girls and hormones. Because you’re just not supposed to put girls in closets. Jess is not interested in talking about Shane. In fact, he doesn’t even care about her. He’s just hanging out with her and that is IT. Luke doesn’t understand why Jess would bother with a girl he doesn’t really like. Jess snaps back that he refuses to wait around for a girl who doesn’t want to be with him. He refuses to be like Luke. Huh? That’s right. Jess calls Luke on the fact that he’s harboring all these feelings for Lorelai and won’t take action but won’t find another woman either. Ouch. The truth hurts.
In the end, Lane may have wimped out with the hair but she is determined to find another plan to stay in the band. And Lorelai and Rory vow to help her out. As the show ends, Jess and Shane walk by Rory and Lane and Shane looks at Rory and calls her a freak. And Lorelai bumps into the girls and tells Rory all about her horrible day and why the women of Stars Hollow hate her and probably always will. Which is probably not a bad thing when you really think about it.
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